FDA Approves of the Administration of Food & Drugs

  • 145

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Citing numerous benefits such as satiating hunger, prolonging life, and treating diseases, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) unanimously approved of the continued administration of both food & drugs to human beings.

FDA food & drugs“The bottom line is food is good and drugs are good,” said FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb, pointing at a PowerPoint slide that simply reads Food Good, Drugs Good.  “For a while, we wondered if maybe food wasn’t good, that maybe it was bad and harmful, but it looks food is good and food administration is a good idea.  As for drugs, did you know antibiotics are drugs?  Yeah, neither did we.  Drug administration is a good idea too.”

Gottlieb makes a very valid argument when it comes to food administration.  Several studies that looked at the effect of food deprivation on morbidity and mortality found that, well, it caused a lot of morbidity and mortality.  A scary amount, actually.  Decreased food intake was surprisingly associated with increased malnutrition and disease occurrence.

When it comes to drug administration, the data are a little more interesting.  One cannot deny the downsides of drugs, take side effects, adverse reactions, allergies, and the opioid epidemic, for example.  But there are a lot of good drugs too.  “Lots,” added Gottlieb.  “Lots.”

The FDA did not comment on whether beverages should be administered, stating that they are outside of its jurisdiction.

Gottlieb and the rest of the FDA admits to breathing a sigh of relief, knowing that it is an aptly named federal agency of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Next, the world turns its eyes on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) as it eagerly awaits analysis to see if it is still worth continuing the mission of controlling diseases and preventing them.  Unfortunately, preliminary results will not be available until 2021.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Earth Day

Earth Day News: After 4.5 Billion Years, Earth Remains Full Code

926SharesTHIRD PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM – After a two-hour long meeting with NASA’s palliative care ...

Luke(s), I Am Your Father

148SharesMODESTO, CA – A sperm bank in Modesto has confirmed what millions suspected. Before he ...

Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General

15.2KSharesWASHINGTON, D.C. – At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that ...