periorbital mass nose

Ophtho Relieved That Periorbital Mass Is Just the Patient’s Nose

  • 499

AUGUSTA, GA – Thanks to the assistance of both Oncology & ENT, a local ophthalmologist is relieved to find out a patient’s periorbital mass is simply just his nose.

“Phew, that was a close call,” uttered Dr. Scott O’Malley, Professor of Ophthalmology at the Masters Eye Center in Augusta. He wiped a considerable amount of sweat from his brow. “You can never be too careful with these things. As far as I know, the nose is a benign growth.”

O’Malley was performing a comprehensive eye exam on his patient when he came across the pointy-shaped protrusion. He observed that it increased in size caudally before retreating back into the patient’s face just above the lip. It was also notable for two perforations located on its undermost side.

“At the time I was incredibly concerned, yes, very much so,” O’Malley explained, hugely appreciative of the timely consultations from his colleagues. “The periorbital growth was situated between both the left and right eye. Thankfully, it wasn’t causing any mass effect on either one. No vision loss, no papilledema. I knew I had to act quickly.”

The patient has taken heed of the advice of both consultants and will be finding a new ophthalmologist.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Updated HCAHPS Survey for Patient Satisfaction Released

1.8KSharesPlease answer the questions in this survey about your stay at the hospital named ...

Oh NO! This Banker Doubles Students’ Debt at Medical School Graduation

165SharesPARKER, CO – At Rocky Vista University College of Osteopathic Medicine newly minted doctors ...

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year

221SharesATLANTA, GA – Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) ...