urine input

Yikes: Patient Reports 1.5 Liters of Urine Input

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Completely catching his inpatient team off guard, a hospitalized patient informed his urologist this morning not only had his urine cleared significantly but he also had at least 1.5 liters of urine input overnight.

“It’s great the obstruction is improving, kidney function is improving, and hematuria is resolving, but it remains unclear to me what sparked him to drink so much urine,” acknowledged befuddled urologist Dr. Graham Sisto, who is helping manage the patient’s acute urinary retention and gross hematuria with blood clots. “The worst part is it’s not even his own urine.”

Nurses report that he had about 1100 cc of urine output overnight, putting his urine balance at +400 cc.

“That goes to show that there’s more to fluid balance than IV fluids and diuresis,” explained Dr. Evelyn Lattimore, an assistant professor for family medicine. “You can’t forget insensible losses, and you can’t forget the even-rarer senseless gains. Have we figured out whose pee he drank? Actually, never mind, I don’t want to know!”

Sisto is trying to suppress his gag reflex over the idea of drinking one’s urine. “Gross hematuria is not so gross,” he added, “but drinking urine definitely is!”

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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