BROOKLINE, MA – Michael Lavish spent 4 years in college and 30 months in chiropractic school learning how to manipulate patients and their wallets. 

He then completed a weekend “fellowship” in chiropractic neurology. Using the vast amount of information gained during his weekend of neurology training, Lavish learned “a great amount about the brain and the spinal cords and their functions and other stuff too!” As he relayed to a patient recently.

Chiropractic Neurologist can’t find a brain on MRI

 

The patient has been suffering from regular headaches and brought her MRI to Lavish for his review. 

After 20 minutes of scrolling through the study on his computer, Lavish had to admit defeat. “I had no clue what the hell I was looking at. It could have been a brain or a knee or a spleen for all I know. I’m not a real doctor or a real neurologist!”

The MRI was reviewed by Gomerblog Chief Neurologist Dr. Amy G Dala MD who confirmed what our 1st yr medical student reported; the MRI was a normal MRI of the brain. 

Unfortunately, it took the patient 27 weekly visits at $450 per visit to realize Lavish was a complete quack and that chiropractic neurology is like a “wingless lefthanded dragon; not a real thing and completely useless for any actual purpose!”

We took the same MRI to a Chiropractic Radiologist who confidently reported he had identified “a massive abdominal aortic aneurysm, about to rupture at any minute!”

“Umm that’s a brain MRI” our Med student told him. 

“Oh. Well then it has spread really far and needs an immediate wallet decompression!” Declared the clueless chiropractor. 

Naan DerThaal
A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal