Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Critical Care

With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr. Jeff Riggs quickly sprung into action and administered 500 cc...

Nurse Has License Suspended for Ordering Wrong Sandwich

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Rebekah Harris had her nursing license suspended indefinitely on Tuesday when administrators learned she ordered her ICU patient the incorrect sandwich.  "She delivered a ham sandwich, to the patient that clearly wanted a turkey sandwich,"...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

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CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year he would donate "most of his vital organs to people...

Cat on Ventilator, Still Full Code After 4 Years

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FREDERICKSBURG, FL - Local cat, Smokey, has been staying in the local vet hospital - in the ICU - for about 4 years.  This feline needs the assistance of a mechanical ventilator to breath,...

Spare Anesthesia Machine Makes Slushies

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SANTE FE, NM - Dr. Brad Jacks suspected it for months.  Anesthesia personnel would leave for a break in the middle of a quick ear tubes procedure and come back to the OR room fifteen...

Doctor Orders Food Trays for Intubated Patients, Eats for Free

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GALVESTON, TX – Charles Wilson is a typical pulmonary/critical care fellow who spends 130 hours a week at the hospital (officially 80), which totals $6.10 an hour.  For GomerBlog to find out that he is stretching...