emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds & Better Staff Treatment Than 12/10

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of pain medication.

emergency room patient
“I’d say it is an….8 out of 10”

“I always thought having more pain than you could have would get you the most amount of medication as possible, but I was wrong.”  He continued, “To my surprise the amount of medication you receive is NOT directly proportional to the number you give.”

Kyle discovered the revised pain scale almost by accident.  “I was in the ER for my typical Friday fix, was asked my pain, and then the nurse said a 10 was that guy over there.  She was pointing at a stabbing victim with a knife still sticking out of his skull.  At the risk of being thrown out I said 8.”

“To my surprise I received the same amount of medication!  And I was treated better with less eye rolls.”

Kyle has struggled for the past few months trying to get IV pain medication.  He would receive a lot of push-back from the staff from his absurd pain scores and over-acting.  His new strategy is working well in the 4 ER rotation he uses.  “They all have treated me better and I don’t even need to sell how bad of pain I’m in.  I also smile and say thank you to all the staff.”

Kyle has been passing this epiphany to other drug seekers in forums and in the ER waiting rooms.  There is now a national trend of honest pain scale reporting.  Some reports are coming in that seekers are going as low as 6/10 and still getting IV Dilaudid.

“I don’t know if I’ll go that low,” Kyle told reporters.  “I’m happy with saying 8/10 for now, that way it’s still not the WORST pain of my life, but pretty bad where I’d get IV Dilaudid.”

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  • Lord Lockwell

    Lord Vincent Lockwell, a medival surgeon, started Gomerblog in 1388. He went for a walk in the alps to get away from the bubonic plague in what is now considered southren Germany when a tragic acident occured. The avalanche did not kill him but froze him for over 500 years. He was thawed and now continues to report on medical news.

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