Mannequin Challenge
“I can think of no better time for a Mannequin Challenge!”

JACKSONVILLE, FL – A code team at Jacksonville Medical Center (JMC) is under investigation after an ill-timed Mannequin Challenge during a cardiac arrest went viral but left a patient in critical condition.

“If there is one thing we cannot believe more than performing a Mannequin Challenge during CPR,” explained JMC CEO Martin Janssen, “it is performing a very bad Mannequin Challenge during CPR.  Have you seen this one?  The patient is twitching!  Mannequins don’t twitch!  And one student starts coughing.  If you’re going to do a Mannequin Challenge, do it right!”

At approximately 10:52 PM last night, a Code Blue was called overhead and a code team led by resident Melanie Townsend commenced life-saving treatment, including chest compressions and the administration of epinephrine.  At one critical moment, Townsend locked eyes with every medical professional in the room; this was their chance.

“Instead of ‘Hold compressions!’ she said ‘Hold still!’ and one of the RTs instinctively started filming,” explained charge nurse Ricky Ferguson.  “It was the heat of the moment.  This is what we’ve trained for.”

The Code Team Mannequin Challenge lasted 5 minutes 13 seconds.

The footage starts with an RT frozen in action not squeezing an Ambu bag before catching an intern mid-chest compression.  There is a close up of a nurse about to obtain vital IV access.  It sweeps to the pharmacist drawing up some bicarbonate, while another nurse charts.  Behind the nurse, one med student sucks his thumb while another looks away in horror.  A physician assistant is the phone, trying to reach family.  Physical and occupational therapists are peaking in, seeing what all the fuss is about.  The video leaves the room and shoots committed health care practitioners throughout the hospital, even catching frozen UberGURNEY drivers and nurses in beautiful ballroom contact precaution gowns.  The camera eventually returns to the code where a hospital administrator is about to hand out patient satisfaction surveys.

Shortly after the Mannequin Challenge, the CPR post went viral and the patient was resuscitated, in that order respectively.

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.