UberGURNEY
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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating hospital buildings with their new fleet of UberGURNEY vehicles, giving patients more options to get from point A to point B within a hospital.

UberGURNEY“Look, we’ve conquered roads all over the world,” said Uber founder Travis Kalanick.  “What’s next?  The hospital corridors of the world.  Patients and nurses waste precious hours of their lives waiting for patient transport to arrive, whenever that is.  Not with UberGURNEY.  Just tap the app and we’ll pick you up.”

UberGURNEY does not require downloading a separate app, as UberGURNEY simply appears as another transport choice alongside UberPOOL, UberX, UberXL, and UberBLACK.  Trial runs conducted at Uber’s hometown hospital, University of California at San Francisco, have garnered positive feedback.

Nurse Connie Jenkins explains.  “Endoscopy called me that my patient should be sent down.  I called for patient transport but no one picked up.  My patient had the Uber app, requested an UberGURNEY, and was picked up in 2 minutes.  It may not sound like much, but any minute shaved off for someone NPO can save a life.”  Jenkins is referring to an unfortunate incident earlier this year when a patient claimed he was starving to death after 1 hour NPO and actually died of hunger 1 hour later.

Feedback from patients has generally been positive as well.

“I really needed a turkey sandwich bad,” explained patient Ollie Nelson, rubbing his tummy with conviction.  “I gave UberGURNEY a whirl.  In three minutes, a driver picked me up and took me from my room to the cafeteria.  It was fantastic.”  Nelson did note one issue, however, a complaint for many long-time Uber users.  “After I ate my sandwich, it was like 5 PM.  Those surge prices are for real!  Fifty bucks just to get back to my room!  Maybe I should’ve walked.”

UberGURNEY will be rolling out in major academic institutions nationwide, including the Mayo Clinic, who revolutionized the transport game in 2014 with their pneumatic tube system for patient transport.  UberGURNEY is in its early stages but should it reproduce the success of its car service, Uber expects to offer an expanded fleet of UberGURNEYs with UberGURNEYBLACK for those who are willing to pay more for a private gurney and UberBODYBAG for those unfortunate patients who have died and wish to head to the morgue immediately.

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