heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

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heparin bridge I-85
The next screen reads “INR THERAPEUTIC, HEPARIN STOPPED, DISCHARGE HOME” (Courtesy of WSB-TV Atlanta)

ATLANTA, GA – Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed on Anesthesia, finally has a therapeutic INR of 2.45, and that the heparin bridge has been discontinued.

Initially thought to be a drawn-out process that could take months, Atlanta drivers are rejoicing that the major transportation artery has been rebuilt and restored by a contractor with no vascular surgery training, CW Matthews, and, in the context of anticoagulation, was completed with minimal bleeding and bruising.

“We want to thank the CW Matthews for their hard work, the Georgia Department of Transportation for their cooperation, the federal government for the funding, and Emory University for the heparin products,” said Mayor Kasim Reed.  “We are thrilled that I-85 is up and running without ever developing any GI bleeding.”

Authorities are confident than I-85 will remain therapeutic indefinitely, which is a relief for commuters and should help bring the average blood pressure of Atlanta drivers back down to normal range.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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