viral antibiotics

After Post Goes Viral, Gomerblog Consults ID for Antibiotics

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CHICAGO, IL – Gomerblog has consulted infectious diseases specialist Dr. Johann Phlegmon at University of Chicago to help investigate why one of its posts went viral and if antibiotics are indicated at this time.

“The post FDA Finally Approves The Ativan Diffuser for All Hospital Units is at 2 million shares right now,” explained Dr. 99 to Gomerblog.  “This post is not only viral, it’s febrile, tachycardic, and dehydrated too.  Should it turn septic, we should offer it some avocado toast.”

viral antibiotics
Screenshot of the highly-contagious post

Dr. 99 conferred with several other Gomerblog writers to get their professional opinion.

“The post is at the very least viral, but we cannot rule out the possibility of it being bacterial either,” said Lord Lockwell.  “We may want to start out with community-acquired coverage and have a low threshold to broaden if needed to vancomycin and Zosyn.”

Doktor Schnabel agreed.  “At the very least we need ID on board this ship.  We did the appropriate thing and called them at 5 PM on a Friday afternoon.”

Dr. Glaucomflecken, Dr. Amy G. Dala, and internballhorts are circumspect and believe the need for antibiotics is overkill.

“If this post truly is viral,” began Dr. Glaucomflecken, “then it should be self-limited and resolve on its own.  Supportive management, maybe some juice and lots of naps.  Naps cure everything.  And a good morning poop.  Antibiotics?  It’s too much.”

“I don’t necessarily agree with the consult, but better to be safe than sorry,” said Dr. Amy G. Dala, who ordered a chest X-ray, blood cultures, urinalysis, and urine cultures on the viral post.

“Can’t we just have the post wash its hands before and after every share?” asked internballhorts.  “Maybe the post just needs good hand hygiene.”

The Gomerblog team eagerly awaits final recommendations, which should be available in true ID form as a three-book series including a hard cover edition signed by Dr. Phlegmon.  Though they don’t know what the recommendations will be, it will “most certainly” involve a lumbar puncture and an HIV test.  They just know it.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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