STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN – Gomerblog has learned that the Swedish Academy has chosen the field of Anesthesia as the Nobel Prize winner in the inaugural category of Blame today. It is the first-time Anesthesia has been awarded for their foibles and it is well-deserved.
“Anesthesia’s contributions in the field of Blame has been unprecedented in 2017,” announced Swedish Academy member Sara Danius, who said this year’s winner was a true no-brainer. “First, Anesthesia caused the collapse of the Atlanta Falcons in Super Bowl LI, which was historic in of itself. Not to be outdone, Anesthesia proceeded to cause both the mix-up during the Best Picture announcement during the Oscars and the violent confrontation aboard a United Airlines flight. The bridge collapse in Atlanta? Probably Anesthesia’s doing too.”
When Milli Vanilli made the announcement earlier this year that they no longer blamed it on the rain but Anesthesia instead, Danius said that sealed the Nobel Prize award for the maligned subspecialty in the eyes of the Nobel Committee for Blame.
“To think,” Danius added, “all of these things were Anesthesia’s fault and that was just this year alone. When we reviewed their total body of work, the vote was basically just a formality. Anesthesia has taken blame to a whole new level.”
“There is no greater scapegoat than Anesthesia,” read a handwritten card addressed to Anesthesia on behalf of every medical, surgical, and nursing specialty on planet Earth. Even hospital administrators and the Joint Commission joined in on the praise. “And for that we thank you and we blame you.”