Nick Saban Hoping Triamcinolone Cream Works Better for His Healthy Scratches

  • 104

TUSCALOOSA, AL – In preparation for today’s big game against the University of Tennessee, Nick Saban has asked his team of dermatologists to prescribe and apply triamcinolone cream to his players listed as healthy scratches before taking the field.

“Saban was not happy after last week’s attempt to use IV Benadryl just made all his healthy scratches fall asleep right before kickoff against the Razorbacks, at which point they would’ve been better served on the injured/reserve list,” explained Jeff Allen, the Head Football Athletic Trainer at the University of Alabama.  “That’s why we’re gonna give topical steroids a go.  Our players should be much more alert this time around.”

Saban will start conservatively with a thin film of 0.025% in the first half and monitor things very closely.  If Tennessee has all the momentum entering into half time, Saban will strongly considering increasing to 0.1% concentration.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Johnson & Johnson asbestos baby powder

Johnson & Johnson Doubles Down With 100% Asbestos Baby Powder

806SharesNEW BRUNSWICK, NJ – Despite stocks plummeting 11% after a Reuters report claimed the ...