unsteady gate

Hospitalist Consults PT to Assess Unsteady Gate

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unsteady gate
Maybe we should call OT too

VININGS, GA – Concerned that it is now high risk and a fall is imminent, hospitalist Martin Halvorson has asked if physical therapy (PT) could come to his front yard and assess his unsteady gate.

“Thankfully the gate hasn’t fallen just yet, but I’m worried it could happen at any moment,” a nervous Halvorson told Gomerblog, adding that he did have a heart-to-heart discussion with the gate, who wishes to have everything done and is a full code.  “I tried to broach the topic of palliative care, but then it started squeaking at me.”

Physical therapist Jason Mills hopes to perform an initial assessment within the next 24 hours.

“From what the hospitalist told me, the gate is really unsteady, somewhat limited by stiffness, sometimes totally immobile,” Mills explained.  “If the gate really wants everything done, maybe it’s worth calling Ortho to see if any of the hinges can be revised or replaced, they sound extremely rusty.”

Ortho has been consulted.

Iron isn’t bone, but it’s pretty strong like bone, so we’ll take a look,” added Brock Hammersley, who considers welding an extension of orthopedic surgery.  Hammersley requested that the gate be “cleared” by the hospitalist in the event surgery is indicated.

The unsteady gate has asked if it can receive a one-time dose of Dilaudid before working with PT.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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