DURHAM, NC – Gomerblog is saddened to report that infectious diseases physician, Dr. Ella Mering, has died after finally succumbing to a lifelong battle with her hospital’s credentialing process. She was 39 years old.

“She was a very special person: wife, daughter, mother, person, doctor, and friend,” said close friend and confidante, Natalie O’Connor, a retired nurse currently on hospice also as a result of the neverending credentialing procedures at Durham Health & Sciences (DHS). Natalie is 35 years old; she was hired 5 years ago but hasn’t worked a single day. “Ella was the best. She will be missed.”

Mering was a promising infectious diseases doctor, who really and truly thanked everyone for the interesting consult. She went above and beyond the call of duty. She is the one and only known infectious diseases doctor in the U.S. who not only recommends lumbar punctures but also offers and completes them herself at bedside.

Mering interviewed for an open position in the Department of Infectious Diseases at DHS three years ago. Despite “streamlining” the process 5 years ago, Gomerblog has uncovered that the turnaround approval time is still, on average, never. For this reason, Palliative Care is consulted on all new hires.

“It’s a necessity,” said palliative care chaplain Tyler Williams. “We need to be by their side so they don’t suffer through this chronic, progressive, and incurable process alone.” According to Williams, 85 health care professionals have perished in the attempt of on-boarding at their hospital just this past year alone, and every single one of them needed an opioid PCA in their final moments.

“At least she’s in Heaven now,” Williams added. “Well, assuming Heaven doesn’t have a credentialing process too.”

Mering leaves behind a husband, two children, and one unsigned form in her credentialing packet.

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.