routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Not Impressed: Cards Downgrades A-Fib to B-Minus

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BIRMINGHAM, AL – Completely unimpressed by his patient’s routine ECG this morning, cardiologist Paul Framingham has formally downgraded the diagnosis from an A-fib to B-minus. 

“It’s not that it’s bad fib, it’s just that I’ve seen better, you know?” said Framingham, yawning as he reviewed the ECG once more at our request.  “This just isn’t A or A+ quality.  It’s a B-minus or maybe a B-fib at best. Could be even better with a little more effort.”

Gomerblog reviewed the ECG. It has no distinct P waves and no regular RR intervals.  It’s definitely not atrial flutter nor any other arrhythmia or rhythm.   It’s consistent with atrial fibrillation.

“Yeah, but when you think of A-fib is this the ECG you think of?” Framingham asked.  “I certainly don’t. There isn’t even any rapid ventricular response.”

We asked Framingham if he has ever been so impressed by an ECG with V-fib that he gave it an A?

“Now that’s just silly,” he responded. “Now get out of my office before I cath you.”

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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