ROCKFORD, IL – A bevy of complaints are arising from staff at Rockford Medical Center after an overnight radiology wet read of a CT head has been found to be dripping all over the place, placing everyone within a 30-foot radius at risk for a fall.

“Our environmental services is always on point, but even they can’t keep up with all the leakage,” explained charge nurse Ella Petty, whose scrubs are soaked up to the knees. “This is quite possibly the wettest read we’ve ever seen. They’ve actually run out of those Caution: Slippery When Wet yellow signs. We’ve all had to put on boots.”

As far as anyone can tell, the wetness appears to be serosanguinous without any signs of bleeding.

“But if someone slips and falls, there might be some bleeding, and you know what else there’ll be? A law suit,” Petty reminded everyone.

The wet read has soaked through several layers of gauze. Petty and her staff are attempting to put on a pressure dressing so see if that slows things down.

“Lord above, what did Radiology do to this CT, give it a bolus of Lasix?” exclaimed Petty. “MOPS!!! WE NEED MORE MOPS!!!”

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.