Phew! Lung Biopsy Notes Healthy Diaphragm & Liver Tissue

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AUSTIN, TX – A patient in Austin is relieved to learn this morning that her lung biopsy results showed nothing but the presence of healthy diaphragmatic tissue and normal liver parenchyma. The pathology reports makes no remark on the presence of lung tissue.

“Healthy tissue, no infection, no cancer, that’s such good news,” said Loretta King, who underwent lung biopsy earlier in the week given ground-glass opacities seen on a CT chest. “I had no idea that a bronchoscopy could go all the way down that far. I’m sure glad my lung doctor was so thorough.”

The patient’s pulmonologist, Dr. Lynne Redd, is batting 100% when it comes to performing bronchoscopies that produce tissue samples from other organs beside the lung.

“Hmmm, that’s the tenth one this week,” Redd told Gomerblog, scratching his head. “One of these days I’d like our pathologists to report on the lung findings. Perhaps no news is good news? I wonder what’s going on.”

“Well, we’ll report lung findings whenever we receive lung tissue,” said pathologist Mikaela Stevens. “Maybe someone should tell Dr. Redd not to advance the bronchoscope so far. And we should do it sooner than later, before we starting getting brain tissue samples.”

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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