CHICAGO, IL – “Da Vinci will be key in defeating COVID-19,” says no one in response to the United States’ current uphill battle against pandemic coronavirus, the scourge that has infected hundreds of thousands of Americans.

“The Da Vinci robot is revered amongst surgeons and anesthesiologists, and it will only build upon that legendary status as it inevitably plays a crucial role in turning the tide against novel coronavirus,” no one commented in the past, present, or future.

Moments later, no one added: “Da Vinci will save humanity. Thank you, Da Vinci. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”