Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

Breaking: Patient with Paper Cut Made DNR

MIAMI, FL – Telling her patient that death is imminent in these situations, a ...

Concerned Podiatrist Probes Foot Ulcer Down to Aorta

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Initially concerned a diabetic foot ulcer might in fact be ...

meatball sub appendix

Patient Undergoes Successful Prophylactic Cardiac Resection

NASHVILLE, TN – A patient has undergone successful prophylactic cardiac resection at Nashville Medical ...

Stellar Med Student Amasses 4,986 Letters of Recommendation

BOSTON, MA – Considered to be the Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, and Serena Williams ...

OCD Pathologist Can’t Deal With All These Stains

BROOKLYN, NY – An OCD Brooklyn pathologist, Anais Vernon, is starting to lose it, ...

August Intern Pretty Sure This is Consistent with an ECG

CHARLESTON, SC – August internal medicine intern Paul McCrady was called to the bedside ...

Radiology Wet Read Just Dripping All Over the Place

ROCKFORD, IL – A bevy of complaints are arising from staff at Rockford Medical ...

Brie Hammersley complete blood loss

Success! IR Embolizes Aorta to Prevent Future Bleeding

NEW YORK, NY – The Interventional Radiology (IR) team at New York Medical Center ...