Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
gaseous diet

Groundbreaking: Patient Placed on Gaseous Diet

LOS ANGELES, CA – Hoping this can provide critical nourishment for someone with severe ...

telemetry tele

Playing It Safe: Telemetry Box Placed on Tele

BALTIMORE, MD – Suffering potentially anything from low batteries to a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia, ...

meatball sub appendix

Breaking: Surgeon Removes Perforated Appendix from Textbook

NASHVILLE, TN – A general surgeon at Vanderbilt University, Dr. James Cavalier, has successfully ...

airplaneairplane

Pilot Makes Passengers NPO After Midnight for Flight Tomorrow

ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to minimize the risk of aspiration during tomorrow’s three-hour ...

polar vortex

Breaking: Polar Vortex Blamed on Subzero OR Temperatures

SILVER SPRING, MD – Begging surgeons to keep operating room doors closed as much ...

quill ink medical scribequill ink medical scribe

Medical Scribe Prefers Using Quill & Ink for Documentation

AUGUSTA, GA – Stating it is easier to use and provides infinitely more character than ...