Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

COVID-19 Tips: What to Do When No Facemasks Are Available

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has delineated initial steps on what ...

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Match Day! Med Students Find Out Where They’ll Be Ruling-Out COVID-19 on July 1st

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Though Match Day celebrations have been canceled nationwide, that won’t stop ...

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Habit, I Guess: OB/GYNs Accidentally Swabbing Vaginas for COVID-19

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Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns

INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION – Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an ...

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Breaking: Batman Diagnosed with COVID-19

GOTHAM CITY – Less than two years after he was hospitalized for pulmonary histoplasmosis, ...

COVID-19: U.S. Surgeon General Caught Hoarding All of Nation’s Masks

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Just two weeks after he wisely tweeted “Serious people- STOP BUYING ...