Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
fresh-squeezed frozen plasma

Outdoor Blood Bank Stand Offers Fresh-Squeezed Frozen Plasma

KNOXVILLE, TN – In the hopes of luring more patients, Knoxville General Hospital has ...

G-tube G-spot

The Difference Between A G-Tube & The G-Spot

GomerBlog returns to help distinguish between two similar but often confused entities. The “G” ...

ACGME burnout enemy-to-enemy

‘Peer-to-Peer Review’ Renamed ‘Enemy-to-Enemy Review’

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a revision of terminology that better reflects the non-chummy reality ...

open laparoscopy above-the-nipples

Pioneering Surgeon Performs World’s First Open Laparoscopy

BOSTON, MA – A major breakthrough took place today as a general surgeon at ...

wallet aorta

Vascular Converts Infected BKA Into Above-the-Nipples Amputation

PORTLAND, OR – As a means of source control for a patient in severe ...

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Talking About Scabies Can Give You Scabies

ATLANTA, GA – The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has some unfortunate ...