Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
abdomen

NIH Close to Uncovering Elusive Fifth Abdominal Quadrant

BETHESDA, MD – Sensing a breakthrough is imminent, scientists at the National Institutes of ...

IDSA Recommends Washing Clothes Before, After Every Patient Encounter

ARLINGTON, VA – In an aggressive effort to help control the spread of microorganisms, ...

PM&R doctor

Nephrologist Sets Patients’ Dry Weight Goal at 0 Kg

HOUSTON, TX – Adding to his reputation of aggressively managing volume status, nephrologist Albert ...

Breaking: Hulk Hogan Has Hulkadepression

BEVERLY HILL, CA – After several decades of recurrent episodes of Hulkamania, retired pro-wrestler ...

physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Review: Lesser-Known Types of Enemas

Constipation is prevalent in hospitalized patients. Systematic reviews have shown that 99.7% of patients ...

Phew! Lung Biopsy Notes Healthy Diaphragm & Liver Tissue

AUSTIN, TX – A patient in Austin is relieved to learn this morning that ...

The Difference Between a Pianist and a Penis

In this series, Gomerblog delves deep into two things often mistaken for one another ...