Spouse of Surgical Resident Charged with Polygamy

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YONKERS, NY - 27-year-old Emily Follingsworth was charged with polygamy yesterday in Yonkers, NY, days after her second wedding.  Follingsworth, a spouse of a fifth-year neurosurgical resident, could not believe what she had done. “I had completely...
anesthesia patient

PACU Institutes ‘No Repeat’ Policy

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CREST BUTTE, MT - The policy review committee at Nondenominational Faith Memorial Medical Center has instituted a “No Repeat” policy in their Post Anesthesia Care Unit (PACU).  The chairperson of the committee says that this...

Patient Literally Sweats His Balls Off

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Patient Don Fernando arrived to Mercy Hospital's ER with a chief complaint of "I'm sweating my balls off!"  Don was passed over for hours with many assuming he was just pulling a practical joke.  The triage nurse...

Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria

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ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday.  24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth to a healthy baby girl via cesarean section yesterday after...

27-Page Birth Plan Even Includes a Zombie Apocalypse Clause

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CLEVELAND, OH – Heather Briggins, from Parma Heights, recently was admitted to St. Joe’s in labor at 39 weeks.  She quickly handed her 3-ring-bound birth-plan book to staff. "Glitter got all over me," said labor and delivery nurse Shannon...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or previously called JACHO, but don't EVER call them that now...