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Book of Delivery Menus Missing, 20 Night Nurses & Doctors Die of Hunger

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AUGUSTA, GA – Medical personnel, patients, and families at Augusta Medical Center (AMC) are in mourning this morning as 20 night nurses and physicians died tragically last night from hunger after the treasured book of delivery menus went missing.

menu book“This is a sad day,” tearful Chief Medical Officer I.M. Hankering said on a podium set up just outside the closed hospital cafeteria entrance.  “It is devastating how little food is available at night.  This is a reminder of how important delivery is for the survival of our night staff.”

All 20 night nurses and physicians had shown up for their evening shift without packing any food.  They had determined the night before that they would order some “amazing Mexican” or “delicious Chinese” on which to feast.  Little did they know this would lead to their demise.

“Everything was going smoothly until 10:30 PM when a nurse asked where the book of menus went,” said receptionist Tara McDaniels, who has filed a missing menu report with local police.  “When it wasn’t found in its usual place occupying the chart cubby of the patient in room 311, everyone started to panic.  And believe me when I say EVERYONE.”

Surveillance cameras show the 20 night nurses and physicians going into a frenzy in their attempt to find the book of delivery menus, tearing up the nurses station, break room, patient rooms, and supply closets.  According to McDaniels, the book of delivery menus contained everything one could possibly want at night: from hamburgers and pizza to sushi and gyros.

By midnight, the 20 night nurses and physicians began searching for any kind of sustenance to stay alive, as they were slowly withering away.  Unfortunately, the break room refrigerator was empty.  Desk drawers were missing rescue supplies of graham crackers and candy.  The patient fridge was empty too; patient demands for double portions used up the backup supply of turkey sandwiches.  Even the vending machines were inaccessible since no one had quarters or singles.

By 2 AM, all 20 night nurses and physicians had lapsed into hypoglycemic comas.  Less than one hour later, all 20 were pronounced famished and dead.

Code Hangry was issued earlier today towards all AMC personnel.  Daytime medical personnel are being asked to donate any spare menus or binders to help build a new book of delivery menus.  Nurses and doctors who have stepped up to work tonight’s evening shifts plan to observe a moment of silence at midnight after the delivery of Papa John’s.

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  • Avatar
    The Balanced Nurse

    So true!

  • Avatar
    Katherine McGondel-Desmarais

    Why didn’t anyone call security to sneak into the kitchen? This tragedy could have been avoided!

  • Avatar
    Blake Williams

    Alyssa Phillips, hopefully this will help you understand…

  • Avatar
    Michele Ferguson

    Hahaha….Melissa Gray;)…this will make u smile

  • Avatar
    Hayley Elmer

    Andrew R. Gilbert

  • Avatar
    Jo Best

    Oh no..poor hard working people.

  • Avatar
    Rachel Schramm

    Many places, like the hospital I work at, have blocked online ordering. And menus it sucks

  • Avatar
    Victoria Alicia

    Brittany Gouse

  • Avatar
    Amber McIntire

    Megan Nichole this is a good one. Lol

    Maria Reifle remember the night I had a code hangry? You saved me a brought me a turkey sandwich. Hahaha

  • Avatar
    Sheila Stevenson

    Imagine if it were missing IPhones. The entire hospital would have passed away. Lol.

  • Avatar
    Betty Crosson

    Janine Moylan Wakeman, Sarah Cave, y Amy Kesler Williams

  • Avatar
    Kristy Hoffman Blum

    Clearly this was not a teaching hospital, or they would have just sent the intern to chipotle.

  • Avatar
    Scott May

    I knew this article was a hoax the second I read “the break room refrigerator was empty”. There is no such thing!!

  • Avatar
    Barbara Mazur

    Internet out of service? Yellow Pages restaurant menus missing as well?

  • Avatar
    Glynis Nordman

    Rachel Torres hahahahha
    Maria Giannopoulos

  • Avatar
    Kimberly Stovall Shipper

    Charity Stewart :)

  • Avatar
    Miki Lindsey

    LOL. I used to feel bad for my Graveyard colleagues. While day and swing shift people had access to ALL KINDS of great food, the Grave shift people had to stop by on the way in (and even then, the pickings were slim). Otherwise, if they forgot their lunch, they were relegated to . . . the . . . GASP . . . vending machine!!

  • Avatar
    Bennie Allen

    If ever we cant access the online menus….we are going to be screwed!!! lololol

  • Avatar
    Linda Rongo

    OMG hilarious!

  • Avatar
    Jenny Wong Swanson

    Code Hangry! Michelle Haastrup and Kathleen M Jones

  • Avatar
    Kerrie Pinkney

    Yes there was panic in the PICU today when none of the 800 PotBelly menus could be found!

  • Avatar
    Kristin Pellegrino

    Ha ha….

  • Avatar
    Jaime Lauren

    Terrance Tate

  • Avatar
    Josh Hellums

    Careful Anthony W. Jones

  • Avatar
    Alex Josiah Dunn

    Becky and Haley God forbid this ever happen.

  • Avatar
    Shannon Hopkins

    Jesus what about the ER clientele? I mean nothing says “I’m having a real emergency” like being too hungry to wait for yourself to be dispo’d…

  • Avatar
    Barbara Wronka Weissenborn

    Always know who has a stash in their mailbox or locker of menus
    This could be serious.

  • Avatar
    Kevin Martin

    Kristin Pellegrino

  • Avatar
    Holly Hingley Grospitch

    I ate all my Changs leftovers. Plus a bagel w cream cheese. A few doughnuts. And 1/2 a sandwich.

  • Avatar
    Kim Branly

    LoL, I went to TGIFridays and felt like I rolled out to my car

  • Avatar
    Holly Hingley Grospitch

    I ate like a homeless person at a free buffet!

  • Avatar
    Kim Branly

    I’m so glad that I just finished eating! Holly Hingley Grospitch and that was earlier in the day, I was looking for menus so they could order

  • Avatar
    Jessica Uhland

    Jennifer Figuli Lerch

  • Avatar
    Holly Hingley Grospitch

    Kim Branly

  • Avatar
    Burned-Out Medic

    hahaha

  • Avatar
    Burned-Out Medic

    hahaha

  • Avatar
    Kacey Howard

    Valerie Sirna

  • Avatar
    Kacey Howard

    Valerie Sirna

  • Avatar
    Serena Champ Aneres

    Hahaha! Yesssssss!

  • Avatar
    Serena Champ Aneres

    Hahaha! Yesssssss!

  • Avatar
    Justin Urse

    This would have been true before Grub Hub.

  • Avatar
    Julie Swallie

    Hilarious

  • Avatar
    Julie Swallie

    Hilarious

  • Avatar
    Amanda Marchese

    Natalie Anne lololol

  • Avatar
    Amanda Marchese

    Natalie Anne lololol

  • Avatar
    Brian Patrick

    Don’t they have seamless?

  • Avatar
    Brian Patrick

    Don’t they have seamless?

  • Avatar
    Joanie Sapienza

    Bahahhahahaahahahhaahahhahhaahahahahahauahaahahahahahahauauauhaua!

  • Avatar
    Joanie Sapienza

    Bahahhahahaahahahhaahahhahhaahahahahahauahaahahahahahahauauauhaua!

  • Avatar
    Leslie Canestraro

    True story. Kristen Jones

  • Avatar
    Leslie Canestraro

    True story. Kristen Jones

  • Avatar
    Ashish Patel

    Reema Sean Shuchi HANGRY PANTS

  • Avatar
    Ashish Patel

    Reema Sean Shuchi HANGRY PANTS

  • Avatar
    Debbie Curran

    Lol

  • Avatar
    Debbie Curran

    Lol

  • Avatar
    Shea Mace

    Best ever Jessica Firman

  • Avatar
    Shea Mace

    Best ever Jessica Firman

  • Avatar
    Patrick Pangburn

    Oh the inhumanity.

  • Avatar
    Patrick Pangburn

    Oh the inhumanity.

  • Avatar
    Joe Paoletta

    I just tried to use a menu from 2007 that found in a drawer

  • Avatar
    Joe Paoletta

    I just tried to use a menu from 2007 that found in a drawer

  • Avatar
    Ryan McCorkle

    Davi Arnold McCorkle

  • Avatar
    Ryan McCorkle

    Davi Arnold McCorkle

  • Avatar
    Jessica Firman

    Shea Mace-

  • Avatar
    Campbell Holinger

    I’m fairly certain this would actually happen at my facility.

  • Avatar
    Beth Libby

    God bless the Night Shift!

  • Avatar
    Terry Niska Watson

    Denise Neff Donna & my other night shifters….lol!!!!

  • Avatar
    Christine Ouellette

    Written by a true night shift person, we live by our carry out menus, especially when the online menus are blocked by the evil IT gnomes.

  • Avatar
    Barbara Robin

    Working nites in the ICU at Michael Reese back in the late 70’s to mid 80’s. Great food that we all ate at the central nurses station—-those were the days!!!!

  • Avatar
    Katrien Derycke-Chapman

    OMG I remember this working nights!!! Lol!

  • Avatar
    Katie Eisterhold

    Jamie. Chelsea. Holly. This is now one of my favorites.

  • Avatar
    Tracy Sychowski-Pawlows

    Danniel Stites hahahaahaha

  • Avatar
    Karin Cartwright

    What a tragedy. No one had any of them on speed dial. :D

  • Avatar
    Kelly McGee

    This happens all the time on CSU…

  • Avatar
    Sarah Ellwood

    Jason Ellwood

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