nurse olympics

Nurse Olympics: Results

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CHICAGO, IL – The host hospital of this year’s Nurse Olympics, Chicago General, is now recovering after all the fanfare.  Nurses came from all over the U.S. and parts of Canada to compete in the 13th annual Nursing Olympics.

“I’m just excited to be part of this historic event,” said silver medalist winner Joan Hendricks.  “It’s an honor competing against the best and I hope I can make it back next year!”

In the IV Start, Shannon Maddox took home the gold by placing an IV on a dialysis patient that has been undergoing chemo for the past 3 years.  “The most difficult of difficult of IV sticks.  I just went in there, gave it a 110%, and took home the gold.  This is for you, mom!”  Shannon also won gold in the Wiggly Crying Pediatric IV event.

The Golden Foley was awarded to 24-year veteran Jane Awsgood.  “It’s always a pleasure to see Jane place a Foley,” said colleague and coach Tina Berth.  “She’s the best, and can place a Foley on a man with a basketball-sized prostate.  Heck, urology has called her to place difficult ones.  This wasn’t even a contest.”

Ken Swanson, an ICU nurse from Florida, won a gold in Wiping the Demented Patient.  He was able to completely clean the patient’s bottom in 31.2 seconds.  At first he thought it was a silver, but the first place finisher was disqualified when some residual poo was found in the base of the crack.

Three-time Sterile Gown winner Jamie Mathers won again with an absolute blowout of the competition.  “I practically live on C. diff alley and sometimes I have 4, 5,  or even 6 patients.  We are under-staffed and I have to put these gowns on fast, properly, and then dispose of them,” she boasted with 21 seconds separating her and the 2nd-place finisher.  “I hope next year they make us wash our hands because these boys and girls don’t even know how much longer that can add to your time if you are out of practice.”

No competition can be without controversy however: In the How Much Work Can a Night-Shift Nurse Leave for the Day Shift, the results clearly rested in the hands of the judges.  Northeast regional champion Jennifer Shoemaker was awarded a 3/10 by one judge without a proper explanation.  “I don’t know where they [the judges] work, but the amount of work I left would clearly cut into dayshifts’ Facebook time and bathroom breaks.”  She continued in a frustrated rage, “Ask any of the day-shift nurses back home about me, urgh…”

The always crowd-pleasing Gophering was a huge success this year when 30 of the world’s fastest CNAs and Nurses frantically went to the galley and back to a room 60 yards away delivering crackers, juice, pillows, warm blankets (that would be rejected because they were too warm), and of course medications that had to be drawn from a Pyxis using the safety belt in the appropriate fashion.

Other new events this year: The Bed Sore Polka consisted of the month-long exercise of keeping an intubated patient from obtaining bed sores, and DNR/DNI or the art of having competitors attempting to convince family members of a 90-year-old terminally ill patient to sign DNR/DNI orders.  Points were awarded for style and speed.

The main event: Charting.  Hospital administrators would comb through the competitors’ charts and without having any medical training whatsoever would find errors and declare a winner.  Former hospital administrator-turned-nurse Geoff Flowers won it this year.

The 13th annual games finished with everyone’s favorite event: How Long Can You Go Without Going to the Bathroom?  Times were superhuman this year with an upset of 12-year experienced ER nurse, Shannon Wilson, by new pee-holding prodigy Kennedy Andrews.  She held her urine in for over 36 hours as if her body was recycling it.  “I’ve trained very hard, not just at work but outside the hospital too.  My training routine consisted of going to Niagara Falls and drinking coffee by the gallons until I was practically seizing.  I’d spend a half day there just hearing water running non-stop, then I’d get in my car and drive on the bumpiest dirt road I could find.  The hard work I put in sure paid off.”

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  • Show Comments

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    harriseve

    RT : 2015 Nurse Olympics – Results – http://t.co/YxUMWa8aQO #foamed http://t.co/DHhipr5mCP

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    Nicholas de Groot

    I suggest the “convince the nonviable patient’s family to change code code status to DNRI before intubation” event

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    Tim Clay

    Who was in from FSH Steve Edlin?

  • Avatar
    Siân Lasslett

    “I want it cut off.” “Well we don’t do that here.”

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    Karin Northfield

    As an intern, I was called to put in a foley because the nurse couldn’t get it. Never having done it I asked my resident for advice. He said “pull the penis STRAIGHT UP as hard as you can and shove it in”. What are the odds the nurse just didn’t want to do it, since I was successful on the first try–without creating a false passage? Hahaha!

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    Paula Dewey

    Bah. No point in cleaning. Just stick and go. Alcohol does not remove sugar from the fingers; it only spreads it around, plus, if the finger is not dry, it skews the blood sugar result. As a T1, it annoys the hell out of me when nurses are so anal about thinking they have to use alcohol to clean the finger. As long as their hands are clean-stick their finger! Last time I used alcohol to poke myself? Ummmmm… NEVER.

  • Avatar
    Paula Dewey

    Seriously? She came into the ER with for a wart!? SMH

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    Summer White Frasier

    Post-CABG line detanglement with the added pressure of the IABP alarming.

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    Theresa Skrobe

    Hysterical!

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    Juliana Morawski

    How about IM Geodon to a flailing psych pt with 5-7 security and law enforcement officers attached?

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    Brenda Braun

    I WON the enema contest. Let’s hear it for 2000 in and 20 pounds out!!!

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    Kathy Lovello

    Amanda Steeves, you’ve got to show this to Anne Marie!

  • Avatar
    Elise Peterson

    Hilarious

  • Avatar
    Karen Townley

    excellent

  • Avatar
    Mandy Van de Reep

    Nadine Vd R volgend jaar doe jij mee?

  • Avatar
    Sara Mechling Shafer

    Start an event list tonight

  • Avatar
    Sara Mechling Shafer

    We can do this!

  • Avatar
    Ashley Dunn

    Sara Mechling Shafer

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    Angela Loghry

    Stealth vitals on lightly sleeping toddler. :)

  • Avatar
    Kathleen Bylsma

    Elizabeth Turajski, Nan McNurlen ;)

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    Joana Daniela

    Those are x games events!

  • Avatar
    Dilma Dover

    can’t stop laughing!

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    Kate Cichucki Ceballos

    Kristin Lyon they took our idea. Take notes we are doing this!

  • Avatar
    Kristin Moudry

    Victoria Junkin Danielle Weathers Cassie Raney Clark Leah Oswalt Casey Hubbard Tracey Booth Traci Fowler Higginbotham

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    Amanda Reeser Smith

    I think that the post-CABG Line detanglement should be included. Also speed CRRT filter change, and Maintaining combative patient on bed rest with IABP.

    Oh…and maintaining Bipap on demented patient

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    Sara Beckman

    I’d like to suggest a new event: Blood Sugar from a Combative Patient. The nurse has to clean, stick, and draw blood from an elderly combative person. Points awarded for speed and minimum amount of scratches acquired by the nurse from the patient.

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    Juliana Morawski

    Love the DNR/DNI event.think I’ll enter next time

  • Avatar
    Carol Hannon

    Lmao…just last week had a do one in pacu middle of night..lmao

  • Avatar
    Aveleigh Kyle

    Best yet

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    Kathi Chambers

    Carol, you must compete next year… You have the Golden Foley hands down!

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    Ryan McCracken

    Celina Deb Terri

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    Siân Lasslett

    Yesterday I achieved a new PB in triage – I managed to not yell at the lady seeking emergency medical treatment for her wart during an incredibly busy shift for an entire six hours. Sadly my winning streak was ruined when she suggested that “nurses are meant to be caring”.

    Either way I’d like to thank my parents, my boss and the paramedics struggling with most of the city hospitals being on bypass. It was really a team effort.

  • Avatar
    Joe Pee

    One of the best yet. Thank you

  • Avatar
    Anonymous

    Awesome

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