NEW YORK, NY – Hospital administrator Todd Williams told media today that he understands that burnout among health care practitioners is a very real issue, which is why he is reassuring everybody by saying that “it’s very important to have work-life imbalance.”

hospital administrator, work-life imbalance
“I prefer this black suit over my other black suits”

“Truth be told, we need to keep ourselves going at our jobs,” Williams explained as he shined his golf cart.  “We all have friends, families, spouses, children, hobbies like sleeping, and that is why it is critical to keep all of these things imbalanced.”

He droned on some more: “It’s hard to compare apples and oranges; I hate fruit in general.  In the same manner, it’s hard to compare life and work.  So the only way to balance against work is… with more work.  That is the key to work-life imbalance: less life, more work.”

Interestingly, Williams’ least favorite Olympic event is the balance beam.  “Unless they fall and injure themselves,” he added.  “I like it when they fall.”

At the time of the conference, twenty more healthcare providers resigned.  When asked how he plans to solve the continued issue of short-staffing, Williams replied, “That’s easy: fire more nurses and doctors and hire more administrators.  My administrators are exhausted from all their administrating.  They need some help and it’s about time I listened!”

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.