NASHVILLE, TN – In a broken health care system, it’s a sight we see too often and unfortunately it’s happened once again this morning: another patient has slipped through the cracks, this time a gaping fissure in front of the check-in desk at the primary care clinic building of Vanderbilt University Medical Center (VUMC) in Nashville. The victim has not yet been identified as rescue crews only have a glimpse of his or her outstretched hand.
“We see patients slip through the cracks all the time, but usually they are the metaphorical cracks associated with a complicated, cumbersome, and unintuitive medical system here in America, not actual physical ones,” said Vanderbilt internal medicine physician Rachel Greenwald. “I mean, look at it! You would think patients would see these colossal crevices in front of the nurses station. Watch your step, people, come on!”
When pressed for comment, VUMC CEO Chaz Moneybags stated that the reason the crumbling floors in and around the hospital have not yet been addressed is because funds “necessarily” had to be funneled towards the hiring of new administrators.