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Stryker reps ambush
Patiently the elite Stryker reps await their prey

PORTLAND, ME – Tucked away in a Holiday Inn Express parking lot, a truck full of 75 elite special-ops Stryker reps dubbed the “Bone Berets” are sitting, waiting to ambush the next orthopod who passes by.

According to a brave Gomerblog spy in close proximity to the truck, the Bone Berets plan to initially pelt the next unsuspecting orthopedic surgeon with bags of Stryker Surgical Snacks before bombarding them with a follow-up barrage of knee and hip implants.

“They won’t know what hit’em, they absolutely won’t know what hit’em!” exclaimed one Stryker rep simply known as Lisfranc Alpha, pumping up his special reps unit as if entering into battle.  “We will overwhelm them with our Hoffmans and Fixos!”

Soon after, all of the Stryker reps huddled around, their gloved hands atop one another in the middle.  “1-2-3, Stryker!!!” they screamed, before calming their heart rates and waiting.  Pupils dilated and waiting…

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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