Amazon Echo

Cardiologist Extremely Disappointed by Amazon Echo

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DALLAS, TX – Unable to visualize any cardiac images let alone make any useful observations about the human heart, a cardiologist at Baylor University Medical Center says he is extremely disappointed by the Amazon Echo.

“Sure, you can ask Alexa to play music and the sound quality is good, but I can’t tell you about any of the valves or estimate an ejection fraction,” said cardiologist Dr. Kevin Lu, who realizes a bubble study on this thing is out of the question. “I mean, come on.”

Lu ordered a 2nd-generation Echo off of Amazon, and thought it was a steal at $79.99 considering the hefty price tag of most conventional echocardiogram machines.

Now he knows why.

“There’s no screen, and even if I ask Alexa to add a screen, it won’t, so that’s useless,” Lu continued. He was venting his frustrations. “I’d take a routine ECG over this. A simple heart exam can tell me more than this damn device. I can’t imagine the 1st-generation model; that means this is an improvement. Oh, brother.”

We asked Lu if had heard about the Amazon Echo Plus.

“Unless it can do what a TEE [transesophageal echo] can do, count me out, not interested,” he replied, tossing the Amazon Echo into the trash. “I bet their Amazon Cath is garbage too.”

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    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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