Breaking: Rare Black Marker Spotted in Proximity of Patient White Board

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ATLANTA, GA – Calling it nothing short of “miraculous,” hospitalist Art Beck reported the rarest of sightings today when he spotted a black marker in immediate proximity to the white board in his patient’s room.

“I’m just about speechless,” reports an overwhelmed Beck, who jokingly asked neurology to consult for his aphasia. He continued to explain. “My patient, as most of my hospitalized patients do after I first meet them but before I leave the room, asked me to write my name up on the white board at the foot of the bed. I was expecting to go through the motions.”

Health care professionals can relate to this scenario; it happens multiple times each and every day. You try to write your name on the white board but there’s no marker there. You try to find a marker somewhere in the hospital but you don’t. Repeat.

“When was the last time you actually found a marker on the marker board? I haven’t,” explained charge nurse Dinah Vaughan, who is still in tears over this most joyous of occasions. “Typically one approaches the white board with the expectation that there is no marker there. I can only imagine what Dr. Beck was feeling when he actually spotted a black marker.”

“I froze, I cried,” Beck told Gomerblog. “I’m not used to seeing any sort of writing utensil in the room. Patients are used to having note pads without pens, and we are used to having white boards without markers. It’s just one of those unwritten rules in health care. I still can’t believe it.” He touches the tip. “It even has ink and everything!”

When he first spotted the black marker, Beck called a Code Joy in order to immediately alert his fellow medical staff.

“First we found all our pens in an alternative universe, and now this,” said pulmonary physician assistant Sarah Washington, who says this is the first marker she’s ever seen in her medical career. “Maybe the future of medicine is gonna be alright.”

Gomerblog reports that Beck’s patient is still waiting for him to write his name on the white board.

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    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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