ALEXANDRIA, VA – Saying 2020 is finally going to be the year where they really change things up, the nation’s ENTs will be fully abandoning their traditional territories of expertise and instead focusing on patients’ elbows, nipples & testicles.
“For decades, we’ve been typecast into examining the same head organs: ears, noses, and throats. Boring,” exclaimed Erica Flap, M.D. and spokesperson for the American Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery. “You’d be surprised what other organ systems we know and are truly excited about. The change was necessary.”
Many were predicting a dramatic change was afoot, particularly after the news was announced that ENT was dropping care for the nose back in September 2019. It was only a matter of time before ears & throats would be abandoned as well.
Similar to a high schooler leaving their hometown for college in another city and state, ENT doctors really wanted to leave the head and neck. Though total consensus was impossible, a compromise was reached: elbows placated the ENT specialists in favor of limbs, nipples pacified the ENT folks who favored the thorax, while testicles quietly calmed the ENTs in favor of the abdomen and genitals.
“There was initial excitement over focusing on ears, knees & toes, thus giving us access to the opposite end of the body, the legs, but we were saddened when we realized that knees start with the letter K although it sounds like it starts with an N,” continued Flap with a sullen tone. “I’m still upset about that.”
American ears, noses & throats are taking the news hard. “It’s not you, it’s us,” Flap told them collectively, trying to soften the blow. “Hopefully we can still be friends.”
In the interim, Gomerblog has not received word of anyone stepping up to take ownership of patients’ ears, noses & throats, so for those patients presenting with symptoms related to any of these organs they will unfortunately will be sh*t out of luck.