BUNNY LANE – So much for getting the United States up and running by April 12: our beloved Easter Bunny has contracted coronavirus, Gomerblog is sad to report.

“When there was talk about reopening the economy on Easter, Mr. Bunny got really excited about the possibility. Unfortunately twenty-four hours later, Mr. Bunny lost the ability to smell or taste Easter eggs,” explained Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. “Since we now know loss of smell or taste can be suggestive of coronavirus, Easter Bunny was tested and our suspicions were confirmed: he has contracted COVID-19.”

Easter Bunny is home on self-quarantine.

Fortunately, contact tracing has revealed that Jesus Christ has not been in recent contact with the Easter Bunny. However, He and the Twelve Apostles will err on the side of caution and postpone the Last Supper, possibly having the dinner online over Zoom instead.

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.