Tuesday, May 7, 2024

Surgery

upset surgeon

Surgeon Furious That X-Ray Tech Not Available 2.3 Seconds After Demanding X-Ray in OR

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HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Henry Witherspoon, a prominent general surgeon in the Houston area, began foaming at the mouth in anger, after an X-ray machine was not immediately available 2.3 seconds after he requested an X-ray...
trauma knife

Trauma Patient with Isolated Stab Wound to Shoulder Can’t Understand Why His $300 Pants...

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WASHINGTON, DC - A trauma patient at Washington Hospital Center became visibly upset in the trauma bay after his $300 pants were cut off with trauma shears.  25-year-old Julius Matterson was in an altercation with his girlfriend at his...

Anesthesiologist Tired of Being Called ‘Anesthesia,’ Decides to Talk in 3rd Person with British...

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BOULDER, CO - Dr. Shelly Druben, a practicing anesthesiologist, is tired of being called "anesthesia" by her coworkers in the operating room. "All the nurses and operating room staff know the surgeon's name and always say Dr....

Curare Darts Phased Out Despite Drug Shortages

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MACON, GA - Like many medical centers, St. Joseph the Protector Hospital is experiencing severe drug shortages, especially in the operating room.  The latest unobtainable drug is the non-depolarizing paralyzing agent succinylcholine, usually reserved in...
routine ECG

Breaking News: Anesthesiologist Manages to Place EKG Leads Out of Surgical Field

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LOUISIANA - GomerBlog is excited to bring you breaking news that is just being reported from Memorial Hospital in operating room 4.  An anesthesiologist, who we can’t confirm the name as of yet so we will just...

These Two Dudes Caught, Reign of Terror Over

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ST. LOUIS, MO – America’s most popular unsolved mystery, the mystery case of two individuals who team up to shoot, beat, and steal from many innocent Americans, has been solved.  These two criminals only known...

Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving

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DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country.  Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration that involves giving thanks, food comas, gluttony, beer, and football.  Sounds...

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

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CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver.  This particular surgery is one of the most difficult procedures...

ICU Team Excited to Untangle Lines After Patient Dropped Off from OR

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SAN JOSE, CA - The intensive care unit (ICU) at Holy Cross Hospital is ecstatic to receive an upcoming patient from the operating room who should have multiple lines and monitors to untangle. Very shortly the...

Patient “Catfished” by Doctor, Angry That Yelp Profile Was Not Dr. Sanjay Gupta

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EAGLEVILLE, PA - “People go to Yelp to find the best doctors - the best of the best.  I was relieved to find what I thought was Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s profile, and that he had...