Fearless Neurologist Attempts to Order Brain Stem Biopsy Via EHR
ST. LOUIS, MO - It was Tuesday morning in the middle of rounds when local bad boy neurologist, Dr. Chinstrap, felt his next stroke...
EHR team regrets letting clinicians vote on project name as BONER upgrade goes live
Multiple Electronic Health Systems consultants expressed regret Monday over a poorly conceived plan to allow clinicians to vote on their system's project name as...
Hospitalist Explains: Hip Fracture
Orthopedics can be complicated. Thankfully, Dr. Hal Dole, after passing his IM boards also completed a Fellowship in: Optimization, Restoration, Transition and Hyperalimentation of...
Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...
Medicare Institutes New ‘Gratuity-Based’ Compensation Plan
WASHINGTON, DC - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) began the rollout of their revolutionary new compensation model this week, in which physicians...
What Kind of Older Hospitalized Patient Do You Want to Be?
Fellow health care professionals, let’s face it: We’re all going to grow old and die. We’re all going to be hospitalized at some point,...
ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!
NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only...
Eco-Unfriendly Plastic Urinary Catheters Banned, Replaced by Paper Ones
SEATTLE, WA—Following the successful mission to replace hazardous plastic straws with paper ones, environmentalists are now targeting plastic urinary catheters, hoping to swap them
out...
Da Vinci Will Be Key in Defeating COVID-19, Says No One
CHICAGO, IL - "Da Vinci will be key in defeating COVID-19," says no one in response to the United States' current uphill battle against...
PyeongChang Tragedy: Team USA Curler Blows Out Both ACLs, MCLs, Hips, Spleen
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Curling is not for the faint of heart. In the adrenaline rush of hurling his rock down the ice, Team...