General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today
TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled...
New Weight Loss Surgery to Bypass Stomach, Mouth Completely
BALTIMORE, MD – Calling the new procedure a “miracle in bariatric surgery,” physicians at John’s Hopkins University spoke at a press conference last Saturday...
Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
Orthopod Has Near-Death Experience Until Internist Responds to Call for Doctor Mid-Flight
SOMEWHERE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN - Dr. Brock Hammersley felt nauseated and sweaty and experienced the feeling of an elephant sitting on his chest with...
Hospital Approves Giving Parents Medication Before Children’s Surgery
HOUSTON, TX - Last week, Children's General Hospital approved a new medication protocol to assist children undergoing surgical procedures. Anxiolytic medication, such as midazolam,...
Breaking: Ortho Declares War on Sticks & Stones
ROSEMONT, IL - The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) has officially declared war on sticks and stones, Gomerblog reports.
“Starting today we formally declare...
Medical Student Dislocates C-Spine Due to Overzealous Nodding
BOSTON, MA - Medical students are being warned after James Pharrier, a 22-year-old student at University Medicale, suffered an atlanto-occipital joint dislocation upon over-zealously...
Ophthalmologists Report Hindsight More Like 20/80
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Top ophthalmologists announced this week that hindsight, long thought to be 20/20, is actually much closer to 20/80. “This is...
Da Vinci on Quest to Rescue Princess Toadstool
WORLD 2-4, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - We have just received word that the Da Vinci Surgical Robot has embarked on a quest to save Princess...
Surgeon Discovers He’s Not God, Chaos Ensues
MOUNTAINDALE, OR - A general surgeon at Mountaindale Memorial was shocked to discover Tuesday night that he is not God, contrary to prior belief.
Dr....