Surgery

hospital workers

Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually

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BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops.  This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern,...

Orthopedic Surgeon Creates a Cyborg by Mistake After Replacing Every Joint in the Body

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“It wasn’t till my 80-year-old patient told me, 'Hasta la vista, baby,' that I realized that she has been turned into a T-810 by...
medical students

Optimistic, Bright-Eyed Med Students Eager to Transform into Jaded, Burned-Out Physicians

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ATLANTA, GA - Like a caterpillar ready to mature into a beautiful butterfly, bright-eyed graduating medical students across the nation are eager to begin...
16 French

Success! 16-French Foley Placed by Team of 16 French Nurses, Urologists

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PARIS, FRANCE - Gomerblog is ecstatic to report that a 16-French Foley catheter was successfully placed by a team of exactly 16 French health...
Wheel of Foreskin

Pat Sajak, Vanna White to Host New Urologic Game Show, Wheel of Foreskin

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CULVER CITY, CA - NBC and the American Urological Association (AUA) have announced that power game-show duo Pat Sajak and Vanna White will be co-hosting a...
doctor on computer

Alternate Phrases for “This is a Very Pleasant…”

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It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant…...

Hospital Administrators to Evaluate Surgeon’s Potential for Revenue Versus Headache Generation

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NASHVILLE, TN - Noted researchers Dr. Harvey Stephens and Dr. Phil Burman offer a new matrix for evaluating surgeons for employment.  The STAR (Surgeon...

It’s Time for a Change: Pharmacists Tired of Being the Last Stop in a...

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CHARLESTON, SC - Pharmacists across the country are angry in regards to the pharmacy being the last stop in a patient’s day.  Typically, patients are exhausted when...
emr

The Fantasy Google Electronic Medical Record Vs. Reality

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Maybe Google needs to be hired for the next generation of electronic medical records.  Most of us would appreciate these new changes.