New Study Demonstrates Average Penis Size to be 5.4 Inches
BOSTON, MA - A new study conducted by the National Urological Association enrolled over 25,000 males of all races to measure flaccid and erect penis...
Local Veterans Affairs Hospital to Merge with DMV
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to improve efficiency and patient satisfaction, a local Veteran's Affairs (VA) Hospital has announced it will merge with...
Anesthesiologist, Tired of Inaccurate Surgical Time Estimates, Tells Surgeon How Much Anesthesia Time is...
BUTTE, MT - In a strange twist of fate, Dr. Amanda Sevoflurane, a practicing Anesthesiologist at Pilonidal Cyst Memorial Hospital, decided to mix things...
Copa America: Da Vinci with Brilliant Save on Messi
SEATTLE, WA - In the 68th minute, Argentina's Lionel Messi dribbled past three defenders and unleashed a shot from point-blank range. But the Da Vinci...
Polar Vortex Advice: Urologists Recommend Setting Genitals on Fire for Warmth
LINTHICUM, MD - With the polar vortex forcing them to convene a rare emergency meeting, the American Urological Association (AUA) has issued new recommendations...
Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...
White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity
WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service...
Medical Student Paged ‘Stat’ for Fecal Disimpaction Case
PHOENIX, AZ - At 2:30 a.m., medical student Amanda Williamson was abruptly woken from her deep sleep to a STAT page. "At first I didn't...