Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...
Slow-A** Da Vinci Holds Up Lines, Taking Forever to Vote
WASHINGTON, DC - The Da Vinci Surgical Robot is proudly exercising his right to vote this Election Day, but here's the problem: he's slow...
Entire OR Team Kneels During Timeout to Protest Administrators
GREEN BAY, WI - In a stunning turn of events, entire OR teams including Anesthesia kneeled today during all surgical timeouts today at Bellin...
Intern Shocked to Discover TV Residency and Real Residency Vastly Different
BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Anita Campbell dreamt of becoming a physician for years. Three months ago, she finally graduated from medical school to fulfill...
NASA Ophthalmologists to Treat Jupiter’s Red Eye with Artificial Tears
HOUSTON, TX - The mystery behind the Great Red Spot, also known as the eye of Jupiter, appears to have been solved. NASA ophthalmologists...
Restaurant Patrons Sickened After Eavesdropping on Medical Professionals During Meal
HAMDEN, CT - It was a chaotic scene at the local 24-hour diner as a mass casualty incident (MCI) requiring the response of multiple...
Controversy Over Surgery Department’s ‘Most Annoying Medical Student’ Award
DALLAS, TX - Dr. Greg Peterson, a chief resident in general surgery, has seen his share of medical students rotate through the surgery service....
Outpatient Surgery Center Hires DJs Instead of OR Nurses
IBIZA, SPAIN - The party is just getting started at Ibiza Surgical Specialists, a private outpatient surgery center, now that new OR nurses have...
Oral Surgeon Alerts Anesthesia to Low Blood Pressure
LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday, in a remarkable feat of interdisciplinary work, Mike Fellers, DDS alerted his anesthesia colleague to low blood pressures.
“It occurred right...
Too Much Pressure: Masseuse Breaks All 206 Bones in Client’s Body
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Despite the request to use only light-to-medium pressure during a one hour deep tissue massage, masseuse Lindsey Wang has gone overboard...