Surgery

Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...

Female Surgery Resident Reliant on VA Harassment for Affirmation

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LOCAL VA HOSPITAL - In what has been deemed a natural progression of surgical training, local resident Sara Lowell now counts on her interactions with patient...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
trauma pumpkin

Halloween Pumpkin Carving Scenes at the Hospital: Updated

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PUMPKINVILLE, PATCH, U.S.A. - Look at these pumkins that were admitted to the hospital! OR maybe  medical professionals with a warped sense of humor,...
nutcracker, OR

Urology to Use Nutcracker in OR During the Holidays

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TOPEKA, KS – Urologists at Mercy Hospital have announced plans to perform surgery with the help of an 8-foot-tall wooden nutcracker during the holiday...

Small-Armed Orthopaedic Surgeon Assigned to Pediatric Fellowship

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DETROIT, MI – Dr. Timothy Billroy was assigned to a pediatric fellowship due to what his program director stated: small arms.  “I mean the...

Ask a Surgical Intern, Part 2

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He's back!  The Surgical Intern is answering the mailbag once more.  Let's begin! Dear Surgical Intern, I've been having this kind of crampy pain on...
hip replacement third arm

Orthopod Replaces Patient’s Hip with a Third Arm

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Feeling that his career was in a rut, orthopod Brock Hammersley decided to spice things up a bit.  Today, instead of...
picking nose

ENT Cannot Bear to Watch as Man Picking Nose Tempts Fate

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ATLANTA, GA - Sure, otolaryngologist Eric Osawa was trying to enjoy his day off today, but has now found himself at a coffee shop looking...