Surgery

New Energy Drink, 25-Hour Energy, Marketed to Physicians, Allows Hospitals to Convert On-Call Rooms...

1
WASHINGTON, DC - Controversial new energy drink, 25-Hour Energy, is fast becoming a staple in doctor’s lounges and cafeterias.  Available only to those with...
absolute zero Kelvin

Breaking: Surgeon Sets OR Temperature to Absolute Zero (-273.15° Celsius)

0
MIAMI, FL - General surgeon Thomas Rauch has entered into the Surgery Hall of Fame (SHOF) today after setting the temperature in his operating...
fires

OR Fires Increase as New Regulations are Enforced

0
Surgical suites across the nation are ablaze this week as rumors of a newly-formed Joint Commission task force has all parties involved sweating in...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Surgery Residents Bring Other MDs to Work for a Day

0
5:00 am: Arrive at hospital. Peds and Psych are borderline comatose still. Medicine seems confused to find that the hospital lights work this early in...
yiddish medical

Yiddish to Be Introduced Into Official Medical Terminology

0
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Language Council of Hospitals and Institutions of Medicine (LCHAIM) announced yesterday that a number of commonly used Yiddish terms have...

Anesthesiologist General Requests Senate Democrats Continue to Perform all Presidential Blocks

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move sure to frustrate the President, Anesthesiologist General Dr. Jerome Adams has decided that he will not perform any...

HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the...
pathologist

Surgeon Sends Lunch for Frozen Section

22
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After visiting the hospital's cafeteria, Dr. Jason Greene seated himself in the surgery staff lounge to enjoy his lunch.  But a...
Master Chief halo

Breaking: Halo’s Master Chief Placed in Halo to Immobilize C-Spine

0
EARTH - Gomerblog has learned in its time travel to the 26th century that Halo hero and Spartan super soldier Master Chief has been...
orthopedic surgeons

Orthopod Cuts Patient Load by Telling Them the Truth

0
PEMBROKE PINES, FL - In an amazing feat of political incorrectness, an orthopaedic surgeon cut his clinic volume of non-operative patients by half by simply...