Orthopod Rushes Home to Bury Bone in the Backyard
AUSTIN, TX - Unable to contain his excitement any longer with a freshly-harvested femur in his right paw, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley bolted out...
Med Student Excited to be First Assist for Turkey Carving This Thanksgiving
ST. LOUIS, MO - While many medical students will be spending Thanksgiving at home with their families, third-year medical student (MS3) Brent Tryhard has...
Black Cloud Begs On-Call Meteorologist for Help
NEW HAVEN, CT - Finding herself underdressed & underprepared for this torrential downpour of admissions and cross-cover calls, third-year medicine resident and self-diagnosed black...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Hoping He Didn’t Leave Wallet in Guy’s Aorta
NEW YORK, NY - As cardiothoracic surgeon Timothy Carter sews his patient's sternum closed after successful repair of an ascending aortic aneurysm, he can't help...
Researchers: If Washing Hands Won’t Remove All Germs, Blowing Them Off at High Speeds...
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers from Harvard University have discovered the reason for high-cost hand dryers in bathrooms all over the United States. In public...
FDA Approves First Antibiotic/Male Impotence Drug: Mycoxaflopin
WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Drug Administration has recently approved the first medication that will combat both bacterial infections and male impotence. Mycoxaflopin, a...
Orthopod Caught Auscultating Ancef Pump
ATLANTA, GA - "Shhh," orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley told befuddled onlookers as he used a stethoscope (or, as he puts it, "a mini jump rope") to...
Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health...
New Extreme weight loss surgery: total gastric intestinal bypass
All that “digestion and absorption is so overrated”
Weight loss surgery has gained popularity, although success rates are no where near 100%. Patients have been...
Optimistic, Bright-Eyed Med Students Eager to Transform into Jaded, Burned-Out Physicians
ATLANTA, GA - Like a caterpillar ready to mature into a beautiful butterfly, bright-eyed graduating medical students across the nation are eager to begin...