Surgery

orthopedic surgeon ripping phone book bieps

Orthopedic Applicant Tears Phonebook in Half to Seal Interview

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NEW YORK, NY - By the time Dr. Johnny "The Hammer" Utah, a fourth-year orthopedic resident at SUNY, Empire State, was applying for his...
doctor updating

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2

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This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1.  Let’s go! Nutrition Translation: Like it or...

Local Medical Student Struggles to Explain His Eagerness to Place Foley Catheter on Male...

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ANN ARBOR, MI - Local medical student Dan S. started his first rotation today in Surgery.  “I woke up at 2:45 am arrived at...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Gastroenterologist Paged Record 35 Times While in Restroom

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KANSAS CITY, MO - In a stark development it has been reported that earlier this morning during a five-minute bathroom break, Dr. Timothy McFadden, a...

Breaking: Medical Student Faints on Rounds, No One Cares

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - During vascular surgery rounds this morning, a medical student fainted in a patient’s room, and no one cared. “On the vascular...
salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

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DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
emotional scar collagen

Pathologists Find Emotional Scars Also Made of Collagen

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CHICAGO, IL - A fascinating new report from the American Society for Clinical Pathology (ASCP) explains emotional scars are actually made up of the...
Wonder Woman bracelets

Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...
MRI scanner claustrophobia

New General Electric MRI Scanner 20 Times Louder Than Ever

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SCHENECTADY, NY - General Electric (GE) plans to revolutionize the course of magnetic resonance (MR) history once more when later this month they introduce...
Rand Paul

Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level

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KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...