Surgery

Committee Investigates Surgeon Whose Shoes Are Always Untied

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BEND, OR - The credentials review committee at Our Lady of Hope Medical Center has started investigative proceedings against general surgeon Dr. David Wymer.  Wymer...
iv fluid

Voluven to Make Comeback as an Axillary Roll

16
NEWCASTLE, AUSTRALIA - The end seemed nigh for Voluven.  The volume expander has been on the ropes after large clinical trials demonstrated increased risks...

OR Case Canceled Due to No Remaining Time Outs

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The first case of the day at Saint Methodist Maplewood hospital was canceled due to no remaining time outs prior to incision. Circulator, Renee Count...

Near Death Experience for Medical Student After Taking Chart During Change of Shift

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Richard Henning, a third-year medical student, has no idea how close he came to perishing at Memorial Hospital yesterday.  At approximately 7:04 a.m.,...

[Video] Da Vinci’s Monster Jam Helps Cavs in Must-Win Game

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CLEVELAND, OH - The Cavs suited up their secret weapon on Saturday: the Da Vinci robot.  In his only appearance, Da Vinci James' performance...
yiddish medical

Yiddish to Be Introduced Into Official Medical Terminology

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Language Council of Hospitals and Institutions of Medicine (LCHAIM) announced yesterday that a number of commonly used Yiddish terms have...
DJ

Outpatient Surgery Center Hires DJs Instead of OR Nurses

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IBIZA, SPAIN - The party is just getting started at Ibiza Surgical Specialists, a private outpatient surgery center, now that new OR nurses have...

Slow-A** Da Vinci Holds Up Lines, Taking Forever to Vote

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Da Vinci Surgical Robot is proudly exercising his right to vote this Election Day, but here's the problem: he's slow...

Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving

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DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country.  Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration...
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...