Surgery

Hospital Administrators to Evaluate Surgeon’s Potential for Revenue Versus Headache Generation

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NASHVILLE, TN - Noted researchers Dr. Harvey Stephens and Dr. Phil Burman offer a new matrix for evaluating surgeons for employment.  The STAR (Surgeon...

Comey Urologist Confirms: He is a Leaker

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last week former FBI director James Comey made a startling disclosure: he had given parts of his opening statement before the...
gauze for abscess

Scented Packing Gauze Makes Abscesses Fresh and Fun

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PROVIDENCE, RI - The field of wound care is taking note of a new line of whimsically-scented wound packing products pioneered by Quintac Hospital. ...
call room

Call Room Bears Striking Resemblance to Medieval Dungeon

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DALLAS, TX - Third-year surgical resident Stacy Collins was shocked when she opened the door to her call room and found its striking resemblance...

‘I’ve Never Met a Pupil That Wasn’t ERRLA’ by Emergency Physician Paul O’Connor

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I’ve been doing this job for almost 30 years, and let me tell you, never in my professional career have I ever met a...
skull fracture

Depressed Skull Fracture Patient Started on Zoloft Drip, Psychiatry Referral

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ALBINA, OR - An area resident covering the ED recently treated a patient with chief complaint of "depressed skull fracture," by prescribing IV sertraline...
medical residency

Maintenance of Certification Programs to Require Repeating Residency

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - If there ever was a solid example of mission creep, Maintenance of Certification (MOC) programs for physicians have set a new standard.  Overnight,...

Tips: How to Keep Your Necktie Nice & Colonized‏

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So who doesn’t love neckties?  Not only do they strangle your windpipe, but they also spread disease with reckless abandon.  Cheers to that!  Here...

Breaking: If Orthopaedic Surgeons Were Actually Good at Sports They’d Play Them Professionally

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PHOENIX, AZ - At this year’s annual meeting of the Bro Orthopaedic Navy Extremity Surgeons (BONES), BONES President Buck Cravedigger made a shocking admission...
dick prick urologist urology

Surgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names

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The plenary session of the annual American College of Surgeons meeting was brought to a standstill last Saturday when the keynote speaker, Dr. Davinci,...