Forget Sheep: Orthopod Counts Bones to Fall Asleep Each Night
MUSCLE SHOALS, AL - Calling the domesticated ruminant animal too soft and fluffy for her liking, area orthopedic surgeon Dr. Tracey Hammerhead prefers counting...
Near Death Experience for Medical Student After Taking Chart During Change of Shift
MILWAUKEE, WI - Richard Henning, a third-year medical student, has no idea how close he came to perishing at Memorial Hospital yesterday. At approximately 7:04 a.m.,...
Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship Teaches Students How to Match Cufflinks with Pocket Watches
NEW YORK — Students enrolled in the Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship were surprised when they were instructed via electronic mail not to report to...
Anesthesiologist Proposes Use of Metric Time
HOUSTON, TX - Dr. Alan Payne, an anesthesiologist and physicist, proposes the use of metric time for determining surgical time duration.
“How many times at...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Hoping He Didn’t Leave Wallet in Guy’s Aorta
NEW YORK, NY - As cardiothoracic surgeon Timothy Carter sews his patient's sternum closed after successful repair of an ascending aortic aneurysm, he can't help...
NC Hospital Offers Discounted Craniotomy with ATV Purchase
WINSTON-SALEM, NC - With hunting season fast approaching, a North Carolina hospital has made a controversial move: they have partnered with an ATV dealership...
Surgeon Rips on Nurses, Hospitalists, and ER Docs, and Twitter Delivers a Massive Takedown
TWITTERVERSE - A colorectal surgeon posted a rant about the care he received in an odd location "Psychology Today." The rant, which since has...
Breaking: Medical Student Faints on Rounds, No One Cares
NEW ORLEANS, LA - During vascular surgery rounds this morning, a medical student fainted in a patient’s room, and no one cared.
“On the vascular...
Prima Donna Surgeon Can’t be Bothered to Dress Self
AUGUSTA, GA – Saying they are “sick and tired” of waiting on surgeons hand and foot (mostly hands), operating room nurses at nearby Mercy...
Anesthesiologist General Requests Senate Democrats Continue to Perform all Presidential Blocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move sure to frustrate the President, Anesthesiologist General Dr. Jerome Adams has decided that he will not perform any...