potato eyes

Breaking: Potato Sees Ophthalmologist for Yearly Eye Exam

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BOISE, ID - America's favorite vegetable, the potato, went for its yearly exam today.  "Its five eyes continue to be in good health with perfect...

Black Cloud Begs On-Call Meteorologist for Help

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NEW HAVEN, CT - Finding herself underdressed & underprepared for this torrential downpour of admissions and cross-cover calls, third-year medicine resident and self-diagnosed black...
malpractice attorney

Malpractice Attorney Says Nightly Prayer for More Medical Errors, Deaths

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MEMPHIS, TN - Mark Edmunds, JD, a local medical malpractice attorney, is proud to be a caring father, a giving person, and a devout Christian.  He...
thank you cards

Urology Resident Leaves Husband After Sizing Up the Competition

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WHITE PLAINS, NY - Unfortunately we have to report on another sad tale of how graduate medical education can take a toll on families.  It seems that...

Bob Costas’ Eye Infection Starting to Get Infected

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SOCHI, RUSSIA – Famous sports anchor Bob Costas has been plagued by a recent eye infection.  The infection started in his left eye and has...
white doctor

White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service...
anesthesiologists tone

Rectal Tone of Anesthesiologists Varies with Patients’ Oxygen Saturation

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BERLIN, GERMANY - A new and controversial study out of the esteemed Higginstein Community Surgery Center describes a curious phenomenon regarding rectal tone of anesthesiologists...

On-Call Ophthalmologist Heroically Manages Eye Emergency from Bed

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DES MOINES, IA - Answering his phone in a daze at 2 AM last night, on-call ophthalmologist Reece Barnett reportedly handled a vision threatening...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

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General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will...
father's day

Father’s Day Gifts by Medical Specialty

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Dads are notoriously difficult to shop for and physicians are no exception.  To help the kids of physicians who just realized that Sunday is...