Surgery

urinary tract infection

Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
medical pager

Pages We Love to Get at Any Point During the Day

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These are probably the best pages any health care professional can ask for! "We're building forts out of drapes, wanna join?! - Anesthesia, OR 4" "Go...

Entire OR Team Kneels During Timeout to Protest Administrators

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GREEN BAY, WI - In a stunning turn of events, entire OR teams including Anesthesia kneeled today during all surgical timeouts today at Bellin...
davinci robot

Orthopedic Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot, Voids the Warranty

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FLORENCE, ID – The OR staff here at Idaho Regional Medical Center is buzzing with the news that the hospital’s only da Vinci robot...
sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...
obesity epidemic

Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale

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ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
gauze for abscess

Scented Packing Gauze Makes Abscesses Fresh and Fun

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PROVIDENCE, RI - The field of wound care is taking note of a new line of whimsically-scented wound packing products pioneered by Quintac Hospital. ...
intern, urine

Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Unable to speak up and hold his bladder any longer on morning rounds, surgical intern Chris McElroy decided to pee all over...
screening for cancer

TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports

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ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...