Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In
CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
Retina Specialist to Further Subspecialize and Focus on Cones
NEW YORK, NY - Realizing that the ophthalmologic world of retina is still way too vast with its ten layers, retina specialist Jacob Vitreous has...
21 Tips for Patients on How to Be Good Patients: From Health Care Professionals
Ok, it is time to be brutally honest to our patients. As health care professionals, we want to take amazing care of them. We...
Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome
ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing...
Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO
Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
Endangered VA System Named 60th U.S. National Park
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to preserve one of the United States' most endangered areas for future generations, President Obama signed a law...
PyeongChang Tragedy: Team USA Curler Blows Out Both ACLs, MCLs, Hips, Spleen
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Curling is not for the faint of heart. In the adrenaline rush of hurling his rock down the ice, Team...
Synthesis Introduces New Product Line, Instant Hit with Orthopaedic Surgeons
CHESTER, PA - Orthopaedic instrument and implant manufacturer Synthesis recently introduced a new product line that has quickly become the most coveted product line...
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
Orthopedic Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot, Voids the Warranty
FLORENCE, ID – The OR staff here at Idaho Regional Medical Center is buzzing with the news that the hospital’s only da Vinci robot...