Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers
WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly...
Unprepared Patient Cramming for Tomorrow’s Rectal Exam
AUBURN, AL - Forever the procrastinator, nervous and unprepared patient Johnny Sanders has started cramming for tomorrow's rectal exam in the hopes he can...
Orthopaedic Surgeons in Minnesota Bracing for Landslide of Injuries from Vikings Fans Jumping Off...
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Following the Vikings loss this weekend, orthopaedic surgeons in the greater Twin Cities area are standing by for an influx of lower...
Wellness Lecture Scheduled on Christmas Morning
NEW YORK, NY - In a dramatic move that is sure to send shock waves through the medical community, an elite Surgical Residency program...
Tired Urologist Mistakes Fire Hydrant for Man with Priapism
SPRUCE PINE, NC - "Wow, I feel like an idiot," said urologist Jason Breckinridge as a crowd surrounded him on the street. Breckinridge is...
Anesthesia Resident Falls Asleep During Case, Reprimanded For Missing Lunch Break
CHICAGO, IL - Chaos ensued at a Chicago hospital last week when an anesthesia resident was missing from the surgical lounge. Around 10 a.m.,...
Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
Mildly Annoyed Surgeon Throws 4×4 Gauze Across Operating Room
KEOKUK, IA – According to reports from Mercy Hospital, local general surgeon Greg McKelvey became so mildly frustrated by the OR staff, that he threw...
Surgeon Caught Screaming at Nobody, Claims “Practice”
BOISE, ID - In a bizarre incident last Thursday, Dr. Nikki Ivanovich, a general surgeon at St. Luke’s Hospital was caught by staff screaming...
New Hospital Beds Harder to Figure Out Than Acid-Base
NASHVILLE, TN - Medical staff at Nashville Memorial Hospital are completely baffled by a new fleet of hospital beds on Unit 55-G, saying that...