Surgery

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...

Apple to Introduce New Surgical Gown 7 with No Sleeves

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CUPERTINO, CA - Apple Medical just announced their new line of OR gear for the new year: iSurgicalGown 7.  This new line takes a...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Medicine Consulted by Orthopedics on Medicine Patient

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OMAHA, NE - Earlier today on an inpatient medical/surgical floor at Nebraska Medical Center, a confusing series of events in the care of hospitalized...
second thoughts Da Vinci OB-GYN

Surgical Tech Accuses Da Vinci Robot of Sexual Harassment

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The fight against sexual harassment in the work place has recently been taken into unchartered territory.  Due to the continued improvement...

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...

I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight...

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In medical school, I found this ugly, indurated, black mass along my right lower quadrant, towards my inguinal crease.  It wasn’t tender per se,...

TSA Discovers Testicular Cancer on Local Man

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NEWARK, NJ – At the Newark Liberty Airport TSA agent Dennis Brown discovered a lump on a local man’s testicle. “I was just doing my...
Tom Price

Tom Price to Stabilize ACA Marketplaces with Intramedullary Nails

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of Health & Human Services and former orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has suggested that the best way to stabilize Affordable...