Da Vinci Named TIME Magazine Robot of the Year
For the 10th consecutive year, Da Vinci, the surgery-performing automaton extraordinaire has won TIME magazine’s coveted Robot of the Year award. Many people in...
Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry
ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University. "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours...
Orthopod Writes a Longer Note Than Hospitalist: Metaphysical Calamity Ensues
KEARNEY, NE - Fatefully cleaving the time line in two, an orthopedic surgeon at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) wrote a progress note longer than...
Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix
BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning.
"You...
Bovie Electrocautery Receives FDA Approval for Cutting Red Tape
SILVER SPRING, MD - In an unprecedented move by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA), Bovie electrocautery has been approved for both incisional and excisional...
Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled.
“Are you sure?”...
Diagnostic Criteria for a ‘Train Wreck’ Patient
How does one identify a train wreck? GomerBlog polled 1,000,000 health care providers in the last 48 hours and the general consensus is that,...
Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
What Kind of Older Hospitalized Patient Do You Want to Be?
Fellow health care professionals, let’s face it: We’re all going to grow old and die. We’re all going to be hospitalized at some point,...
Medical Student Horrified to Learn Patient Has Normal Sized Phallus
In a shocking turn of events, third year medical student Dan Rydberg's first day of his urology rotation took a horrific turn this past...