Surgery

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

5
CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
rods and cones

Retina Specialist to Further Subspecialize and Focus on Cones

41
NEW YORK, NY - Realizing that the ophthalmologic world of retina is still way too vast with its ten layers, retina specialist Jacob Vitreous has...
hospital patient

21 Tips for Patients on How to Be Good Patients: From Health Care Professionals

94
Ok, it is time to be brutally honest to our patients.  As health care professionals, we want to take amazing care of them.  We...
glove compartment syndrome

Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome

0
ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing...

Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO

0
Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...

Endangered VA System Named 60th U.S. National Park

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to preserve one of the United States' most endangered areas for future generations, President Obama signed a law...

PyeongChang Tragedy: Team USA Curler Blows Out Both ACLs, MCLs, Hips, Spleen

0
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Curling is not for the faint of heart.  In the adrenaline rush of hurling his rock down the ice, Team...
orthopedic tools

Synthesis Introduces New Product Line, Instant Hit with Orthopaedic Surgeons

25
CHESTER, PA - Orthopaedic instrument and implant manufacturer Synthesis recently introduced a new product line that has quickly become the most coveted product line...

Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes

0
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
davinci robot

Orthopedic Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot, Voids the Warranty

0
FLORENCE, ID – The OR staff here at Idaho Regional Medical Center is buzzing with the news that the hospital’s only da Vinci robot...