Surgery

wallet aorta

Vascular Converts Infected BKA Into Above-the-Nipples Amputation

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PORTLAND, OR - As a means of source control for a patient in severe sepsis, a Portland-based vascular surgeon has played it safe by...

Friday ‘Dump Job’ Ends Back on Hospitalist

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PORTLAND, MA – Hospitalist Dr. Doug Moore was trying to plan ahead for his upcoming weekend.  He knew he had to take Ms. Williams off his...
airplane

“Rewards” Program for Frequent Flyers Includes Unlimited, Complimentary Discharges

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ATLANTA, GA - Atlanta University Hospital (AUH) has unveiled a new tiered hospital rewards program for frequent flyers that provides numerous benefits, including free...

Narc Madness

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It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4!  This year...
transurethral resection of the colon

Urologist Performs World’s First Successful Transurethral Resection of the Colon

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CLEVELAND, OH - Renowned Cleveland Clinic urologist Dr. Jebron Lames has made history today by performing the world's first successful transurethral resection of the...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...

Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’

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CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at...
orthopedic surgeon ripping phone book bieps

Orthopedic Applicant Tears Phonebook in Half to Seal Interview

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NEW YORK, NY - By the time Dr. Johnny "The Hammer" Utah, a fourth-year orthopedic resident at SUNY, Empire State, was applying for his...
meatball sub appendix

Breaking: Surgeon Removes Perforated Appendix from Textbook

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NASHVILLE, TN - A general surgeon at Vanderbilt University, Dr. James Cavalier, has successfully removed an inflamed and perforated appendix from his copy of...