Surgery

So Much for Denuclearization: Korean Leaders Pledge “Enucleation,” Ophtho Consulted

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KOREAN PENINSULA - Though the goal for both North Korean leader Kim Jung Un and South Korean leader Moon Jae-in was for peace and...

Intern Becomes Sentient, Realizes No One Cares About His Med School War Stories

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SAN DIEGO, CA – In a shocking display of comprehension, local General Surgery intern Gunner Retractorhölder, realized that his now 15 minute long story...
CRNA taking a break

CRNA Sets Record by Taking a Break While On Break

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BALTIMORE, MD - Nurse anesthetist Megan Poole, a veteran CRNA at Johns Hopkins University, set a new record on Tuesday morning by taking a break...

Faux Hawk-Sporting Orthopedist Inspires Confidence In His Patients

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OMAHA, NE - Dr. Rory Holloway, an orthopedic surgeon hailing from Nebraska, recently received the state's physician of the year award for the third...
hopscotch

Study: Hopscotch Leading Cause of Hip Fractures in Elderly

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BOSTON, MA - A byproduct of the children's game that has become an inexplicable epidemic among our baby boomers, a study newly published in...
surgery

Surgeon Performs Appendectomy, Still Trying to Convince OR Staff That It Was Infected

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KNOXVILLE, TN – General surgeon Dr. Hendrick Knightsville is being credited with quite an acting performance in operating room 7.  Dr. Knightsville took a...
Physical therapy hyperacute rehab

PT and OT File for Divorce

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PITTSBURGH, PA - In news that is making banner headlines in society pages nationwide and has left medical high society shocked and incredulous, Physical...

The Difference Between Arthropods & Orthopods

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Today, we help describe the similarities and differences between two interesting creatures: arthropods and orthopods.  Let’s begin! An arthropod is an invertebrate animal with an...
Jupiter red eye great red spot

NASA Ophthalmologists to Treat Jupiter’s Red Eye with Artificial Tears

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HOUSTON, TX - The mystery behind the Great Red Spot, also known as the eye of Jupiter, appears to have been solved.  NASA ophthalmologists...
C-collar cervical collar neck brace

Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix

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BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning. "You...