Surgery

New Hospital Beds Harder to Figure Out Than Acid-Base

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NASHVILLE, TN - Medical staff at Nashville Memorial Hospital are completely baffled by a new fleet of hospital beds on Unit 55-G, saying that...

Small-Armed Orthopaedic Surgeon Assigned to Pediatric Fellowship

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DETROIT, MI – Dr. Timothy Billroy was assigned to a pediatric fellowship due to what his program director stated: small arms.  “I mean the...
hungry patient

Patient “Starving to Death” After 1 Hour NPO, Actually Starves to Death Another Hour...

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NASHVILLE, TN - At midnight, patient Eric Stephens was made "NPO after midnight."  After one hour, patient complained to his nurses and physicians, stating...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Surgery Residents Bring Other MDs to Work for a Day

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5:00 am: Arrive at hospital. Peds and Psych are borderline comatose still. Medicine seems confused to find that the hospital lights work this early in...
surgeon yelling

Surgeon Caught Screaming at Nobody, Claims “Practice”

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BOISE, ID - In a bizarre incident last Thursday, Dr. Nikki Ivanovich, a general surgeon at St. Luke’s Hospital was caught by staff screaming...
bloody armpits, bleeding armpits

Woman Not Sure if She’s Using Crutches Correctly

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TOWSON, MD - A local woman by the name of Mary Ellis, who sustained a fracture of her right medial sesamoid bone during a...

Breaking: Medical Student Faints on Rounds, No One Cares

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - During vascular surgery rounds this morning, a medical student fainted in a patient’s room, and no one cared. “On the vascular...

Michael Phelps Has a Few Too Many Cupping Marks Near Genitals

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Although Michael Phelps has already drawn attention to the healing technique known as cupping with multiple circular bruises spotted...
happy hour for health care workers

Hospital Enacts New Mandatory Happy Hour for Employees

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BOSTON, MA - "Go figure out the best way to improve patient safety and medical care at our hospital," was the charge that CEO of...
operation exam

American Board of Surgery Replaces Qualifying & Certifying Exams with Board Game Operation

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In stark contrast to the recent stringent and controversial criteria for Maintenance of Certification (MOC) set by the American Board of...