Surgery

physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Bravo! Patient’s Continuous Log of Stool Measures 5-Feet Long!

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GREENVILLE, SC - With a swirl of stool in the toilet bowl resembling a generous piece of churro, patient Davis Adderley has just had...
anesthesiologist table height

Anesthesiologist Cancels Case After Hearing Patient is ‘Gassy’

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CHARLOTTE, NC - OR 4 at Mercy Hospital was moving “ahead of schedule” according to charge nurse Diane Cingler.  “Turns out we are getting...
operation exam

American Board of Surgery Replaces Qualifying & Certifying Exams with Board Game Operation

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In stark contrast to the recent stringent and controversial criteria for Maintenance of Certification (MOC) set by the American Board of...
surgery

Medical Student Inadvertently Contaminates Entire OR by Mere Brief Existence

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ATLANTA, GA - “Don’t touch that!” snapped the surgical tech, referring to anything and everything in the OR at once.  Although he was standing...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus

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BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by...
sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...
emergency department

Intern Shocked to Discover TV Residency and Real Residency Vastly Different

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BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Anita Campbell dreamt of becoming a physician for years.  Three months ago, she finally graduated from medical school to fulfill...

ICU Team Excited to Untangle Lines After Patient Dropped Off from OR

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SAN JOSE, CA - The intensive care unit (ICU) at Holy Cross Hospital is ecstatic to receive an upcoming patient from the operating room who...

Orthopaedic Surgeons Declared Strongest Species on Earth

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GABORONE, BOTSWANA - Inspired by the 2018 World’s Strongest Man competition, local orthopaedic surgeon Jamies Baylee started pondering if there exists a species of...

Breaking News: Da Vinci Robot Becomes Sentient, Terrorizes City

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NEW YORK, NY - In breaking news, NYU's da Vinci Surgical Robot became sentient earlier this morning and started to rebel against its human masters. "It's...