Breaking: Grand Rounds Not Particularly Grand Today
LOS ANGELES, CA - Earlier this morning vascular surgeon Dr. Emma Wexler gave Grand Rounds to her fellow colleagues at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Unfortunately...
Orthopods Reclassified as Bromo Sapiens
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In their first update in nearly two years, the American Taxonomy Society (ATS) has placed arthropods under their own genus, formally...
Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
Three-Sentence Discharge Summary For Six-Month Hospitalization
ROME, GA - Doctors and hospital administrators are lauding what has been called a "breakthrough in succinctness," as a patient discharged after six months in...
Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA
WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic.
This hasn't been an...
New Beard Policy Being Adopted at Many Hospitals in OR Clothing Algorithm
Dear Hospital Employees,
The following beard policy is being put into effect for your entire hospital. This includes parking areas, food courts, and adjacent land. We...
Local Man Haunted by Crying Colic Baby
ATLANTA, GA – Local resident Ryan Foster, a 28-year-old bachelor and physical medicine and rehabilitation (PMR) resident, told GomerBlog he was currently haunted by a...
Breaking: Polar Vortex Blamed on Subzero OR Temperatures
SILVER SPRING, MD - Begging surgeons to keep operating room doors closed as much as possible, the National Weather Service (NWS) has cited the...
New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath
ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per...
Fisher Price to Add Thoracotomy Tools To Medical Kit for 2019
EAST AURORA, NY - In a press release, Fisher Price has said that the children's toy brand will add thoracotomy tools to its popular...