Surgery

TSA Discovers Testicular Cancer on Local Man

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NEWARK, NJ – At the Newark Liberty Airport TSA agent Dennis Brown discovered a lump on a local man’s testicle. “I was just doing my...
medical consults

Tips: How to Suck at Calling Consults

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We all take pride in trying to call in a good consult.  But sometimes you get that feeling.  You know the one.  The one...
nosebleeds epistaxis

Rangers Fan with Seats in Nosebleeds Exsanguinates from Epistaxis

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NEW YORK, NY - Gomerblog is sad to report that 68-year-old lifelong Rangers fan, Michael Richter, unfortunately passed away midway through the third period of...

Prior Authorization Now Requires Prior Authorization

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WASHINGTON, DC - Prior authorization - the time-sink, inefficient, and soul-sucking process used by health insurance agencies to determine and eventually deny coverage for...
pot of coffee

Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...

Anesthesiologists Now Offering Tap from a Ball-Peen Hammer as Natural Option for Sedation

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Under pressure from the Natural Medicine movement, the American Society of Anesthesiologists have discovered a "natural" and "drug-free" approach toward preparing a patient for...
colonoscopy

Hamburglar Diagnosed with Colon Cancer

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MCDONALDLAND - In sad news today, the Hamburglar, who amused children for years with his antics and unstoppable desire for hamburgers, was diagnosed with...

Mass General to Offer New Residency in Retractor Holding

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BOSTON, MA - The board of directors of Massachusetts General Hospital announced Monday that the prestigious center plans to offer residency training in the theory and...
iv fluid

Voluven to Make Comeback as an Axillary Roll

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NEWCASTLE, AUSTRALIA - The end seemed nigh for Voluven.  The volume expander has been on the ropes after large clinical trials demonstrated increased risks...

Particularly Rough Night on Inpatient Psych Ward Inspired Angry Turds Game Franchise

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BENTONVILLE, AR - In a classic example of art imitating life, a disgruntled inpatient psychiatric nurse created the now famous Angry Turds franchise of...