Surgery

intern physician worth it

“Miracle Cure” for Peripheral Vascular Disease Discovered at Major Academic Center by Medical Intern

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The campus is aflutter with excitement as Dr. H. Simpson, preliminary medical intern extraordinaire, has found the cure for the incurable.  No one in...
Colonoscopy Game

PlayStation 3 to Unveil ‘Colonoscopy’ Video Game

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SAN MATEO, CA – PlayStation developers plan to release the highly anticipated Colonoscopy 2016 video game to the public soon, with 2,000 special orders already...
drinking alcohol

Hospital Opens Bar, All Healthcare Problems Solved

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MINEOLA, NY - Some ideas are so revolutionary, they can only be conceived in a stroke of genius.  Such is the case with Northrop...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

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COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
surgery

Surgeon Performs Appendectomy, Still Trying to Convince OR Staff That It Was Infected

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KNOXVILLE, TN – General surgeon Dr. Hendrick Knightsville is being credited with quite an acting performance in operating room 7.  Dr. Knightsville took a...
ex fixed ex fix

Breaking News: Orthopod Places Ex Fix on Ex Fix

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SEATTLE, WA - Questioning if the external fixation device (or ex fix) placed on a patient’s leg is stable enough for the job, Harborview Medical...
potato peeler

Op Note Reveals Surgery Performed Using Kitchen Utensils

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Surgeons, internists, and health care practitioners alike are stunned by a recent operative or op note left by podiatrist Tony...
emergency department

Intern Shocked to Discover TV Residency and Real Residency Vastly Different

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BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Anita Campbell dreamt of becoming a physician for years.  Three months ago, she finally graduated from medical school to fulfill...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...

BREAKING: Ortho Intern is First Hospital Employee to Actually Enjoy Joint Commission Visit

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Hospital administrators are up in arms due to Joint Commission complaints that ortho intern, Seth Sholderson, is impeding the Commission’s ability...