White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity
WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service...
Surgery & Anesthesia Ready to Take Things to the Next Level & Remove the...
LOS ANGELES, CA - Gossip alert! According to our sources, Surgery & Anesthesia in OR 5 are ready to take things to the next...
Anesthesiologist in Flap Room Refutes Reports of Peegasms, Calls for Multicenter Prospective Trial
Dr. I. Kaffeinate is prominent Canadian anesthesiologist who is raising doubts about a recently reported article1 in which urologists were warning women of a...
American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...
WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
Virginia Designates Bovie Electrocautery as an Assault Scalpel, Subsequently Bans it
Richmond, VA – In the brief time since the calendar turned to 2020, the Virginia House and Senate have passed several bills aimed at limiting...
Orthopod Appalled to Learn About Calcium Channel Blockers
GREEN BAY, WI - Local Orthopaedic surgeon Stan Deverance was at a hospital wide grand rounds last week when he uncovered a nearly unspeakable...
Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO
Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
Surface of Mercury Less Toxic Than Hospital Work Environment
WASHINGTON, DC - Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have analyzed data suggesting that the surface of Mercury, though not suitable for...
Prior Authorization Now Requires Prior Authorization
WASHINGTON, DC - Prior authorization - the time-sink, inefficient, and soul-sucking process used by health insurance agencies to determine and eventually deny coverage for...
Daredevil Patient on Bed Jumps Through Ring of Fire
LAS VEGAS, NV - Patient Brian McDowell put on a show for the ages, as he became the first patient on a hospital bed to...