Surgery

love at second sight nearsightedness

Most Cases of Love at Second Sight Due to Nearsightedness

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - We've all heard the phrase "Love at first sight."  But what about those people who don't fall in love at...
brain stem biopsy

Fearless Neurologist Attempts to Order Brain Stem Biopsy Via EHR

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ST. LOUIS, MO - It was Tuesday morning in the middle of rounds when local bad boy neurologist, Dr. Chinstrap, felt his next stroke...
applauding doctors

Ortho Writes Perfect SOAP Note, First No-Worder This Year

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Cliff Kershaw of UCLA Medical Center etched his way into the record books early this morning as he wrote the...
hip replacement third arm

Orthopod Replaces Patient’s Hip with a Third Arm

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Feeling that his career was in a rut, orthopod Brock Hammersley decided to spice things up a bit.  Today, instead of...
skeleton rearview mirror

Breaking News: 10 Bucks Says an Orthopod Drives This Car with a Skeleton Hanging...

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Okay, okay, breaking news into Gomerblog headquarters: a yellow convertible had just been spotted in Point State Park with a miniature skeleton...
glove compartment syndrome

Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome

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ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing...
Steve Bannon

Surgical Oncologist Successfully Resects Steve Bannon from National Security Council

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a press conference at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital early this morning, surgical oncologist Dr. H.R. McMaster was pleased to announce that he...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
doctor calling consult

Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult

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MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants. "It's simple," she explains. "We give...
penguins

Shirtless Tongan Braves Arctic Tundra of Operating Room

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ANN ARBOR, MI - Olympic Tongan athlete, Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has been spotted standing shirtless and glistening in baby...