Brand New Vital Sign Added to Monitors and Electronic Medical Records
SAN DIEGO, CA – New governmental regulations passed last week by Congress have created another vital sign, making this the 6th core vital sign,...
Breaking: Ummm Yeah, Fifty Bucks Says This Kid’s Going into Ortho
MIAMI, FL - Without waiting to see how his prepubescent, teenage, or even college years pan out, Gomerblog is already going to call it: fifty...
Ode to Thyroid: Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride
Listen
I have to confess
I have not been appreciative of you
You give and you give and you give
But you also know when to pull back
You...
Barium Enema Reveals Abnormal Presence of Barium in the Colon
NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team was shocked to learn that a barium enema performed earlier today revealed an abnormal presence of...
Near Death Experience for Medical Student After Taking Chart During Change of Shift
MILWAUKEE, WI - Richard Henning, a third-year medical student, has no idea how close he came to perishing at Memorial Hospital yesterday. At approximately 7:04 a.m.,...
Orthopedic Resident Suspended for Not Logging Romantic Endeavors
NEW YORK, NY - Richard Steel, a PGY-4 orthopaedic resident in New York City, was suspended from duties after failing to log his dates...
No Way, Jose: Patient Request for Double Portions Denied, Made NPO as Punishment
BALDWIN, NY - In a defiant stance against a patient Rick Moravsky's request for double portions despite his ongoing treatment for CHF (congestive heart failure)...
FDA Approves First Antibiotic/Male Impotence Drug: Mycoxaflopin
WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Drug Administration has recently approved the first medication that will combat both bacterial infections and male impotence. Mycoxaflopin, a...
Eco-Unfriendly Plastic Urinary Catheters Banned, Replaced by Paper Ones
SEATTLE, WA—Following the successful mission to replace hazardous plastic straws with paper ones, environmentalists are now targeting plastic urinary catheters, hoping to swap them
out...
Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator
LOS ANGELES, CA - Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of medicine colleague Louis Lefebvre's stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized...