Surgery

Trauma Surgeon Struggles to Repair Hole in Favorite Pair of Pants

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ATLANTA, GA - Trauma surgeon Maya Sonenstein has seen it all in her young career.  “I’ve seen all kinds of trauma.  My phone is...
doctor on computer

Alternate Phrases for “This is a Very Pleasant…”

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It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant…...
surgery resident

Signs You May Be a Surgery Resident

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If you have ever thanked God for the presence of a CRNA student and their multiple A-line attempts because it gave you time to...
need coffee

Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken

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SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
medical student menu

Medical Student Paged ‘Stat’ for Fecal Disimpaction Case

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PHOENIX, AZ - At 2:30 a.m., medical student Amanda Williamson was abruptly woken from her deep sleep to a STAT page.  "At first I didn't...
new fda pill

FDA Approves First Antibiotic/Male Impotence Drug: Mycoxaflopin

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Drug Administration has recently approved the first medication that will combat both bacterial infections and male impotence.  Mycoxaflopin, a...
Maria Sharapova shriek

Sharapova Returns with Shriek So Strong Her Own Ear Bleeds

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FLUSHING, NY - In the fourth game of the third set, Sharapova unleashed a powerful forehand winner with a shriek so piercing it caused...

Amazing! This surgeon thinks he can start a case at 3pm!

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Sacramento, CA - Dr. Atul, a general surgeon, who evidently graduated from medical school thinks he can actually start a surgical case a 3pm!...
eye chart, visual acuity

Letter ‘T’ to Take Top Spot on Snellen, ‘E’ Demoted

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BOSTON, MA - In shocking news delivered earlier today, the incumbent letter E has been demoted from its top spot on the Snellen eye chart and...

Ask a Drug Seeker

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Dear Drug Seeker, I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...