Surgery

55-hour ENERGY

FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...

Breaking: If Orthopaedic Surgeons Were Actually Good at Sports They’d Play Them Professionally

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PHOENIX, AZ - At this year’s annual meeting of the Bro Orthopaedic Navy Extremity Surgeons (BONES), BONES President Buck Cravedigger made a shocking admission...
hospital

Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’

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Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient.  To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...
colonoscopy

Hamburglar Diagnosed with Colon Cancer

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MCDONALDLAND - In sad news today, the Hamburglar, who amused children for years with his antics and unstoppable desire for hamburgers, was diagnosed with...

Prior Authorization Now Requires Prior Authorization

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WASHINGTON, DC - Prior authorization - the time-sink, inefficient, and soul-sucking process used by health insurance agencies to determine and eventually deny coverage for...
foley

Medical School Approves 3rd Year Surgical Rotation as Indication for Foley

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IOWA CITY, IA – Carver College of Medicine has taken a bold stance on the need for urinary catheterization to prevent recurrent acute kidney...
donuts, doughnuts

Breaking: Donuts Spotted in Break Room, Two Boxes!

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KANSAS CITY, MO - HURRY, HEAD TO 5 WEST!!!  In breaking news reaching GomerBlog just minutes ago, there is one... no, scratch that, two...

Unprepared Patient Cramming for Tomorrow’s Rectal Exam

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AUBURN, AL - Forever the procrastinator, nervous and unprepared patient Johnny Sanders has started cramming for tomorrow's rectal exam in the hopes he can...
urine foley catheter

Eco-Unfriendly Plastic Urinary Catheters Banned, Replaced by Paper Ones

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SEATTLE, WA—Following the successful mission to replace hazardous plastic straws with paper ones, environmentalists are now targeting plastic urinary catheters, hoping to swap them out...
Crayola, codes

Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes

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EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...