No Way, Jose: Patient Request for Double Portions Denied, Made NPO as Punishment
BALDWIN, NY - In a defiant stance against a patient Rick Moravsky's request for double portions despite his ongoing treatment for CHF (congestive heart failure) exacerbation, family medicine attending Maureen O'Dea not only told his...
Surgery is Delayed Due to Lack of “Time In” After Time Out
SAN JOSE, CA - OR 12 experienced a three-hour delay for what was supposed to be a 7 am start on a Tuesday morning for an open reduction internal fixation of a tib-fib fracture. ...
Mass General to Offer New Residency in Retractor Holding
BOSTON, MA - The board of directors of Massachusetts General Hospital announced Monday that the prestigious center plans to offer residency training in the theory and practice of holding retractors in surgery.
The first of its kind,...
Surgeon Recommends Maximally-Invasive Surgery
KEARNEY, NE - Dr. Billy Ali Colic, a surgeon at Kind Samaritan Hospital, pulled no punches and hid no excitement when he recommended a wide-open Colo-pancreatico-prosto-aoritco-doudenostomy-ostomy for his patient John Dice this morning.
“Laparoscopic, endoscopic,...
‘I Don’t Need Reading Glasses’ Says Patient Holding Everything at Arm’s Length
KNOXVILLE, TN – Holding a magazine as far as his arm will allow, local man Harold Chou confidently announced at a local eye clinic this afternoon that he “didn’t need any stupid reading glasses.”...
Pat Sajak, Vanna White to Host New Urologic Game Show, Wheel of Foreskin
CULVER CITY, CA - NBC and the American Urological Association (AUA) have announced that power game-show duo Pat Sajak and Vanna White will be co-hosting a brand new urologic game show this coming fall called Wheel...
ED Consults Pathology on Acute Abdomen Just to “Make Them Aware”
SANTE FE, NM - Emergency Medicine attending physician, Dr. Edith Lin, believes in a proactive and multidisciplinary approach to patient management. When a 46-year-old woman with sixteen hours of sharp right upper quadrant abdominal pain,...
Resting Bitch Face Underdiagnosed in Health Care Providers
NEW YORK, NY - Despite the numerous advances and medical breakthroughs in 2015, GomerBlog reports that resting bitch face (RBF), a horrible affliction in which a person’s emotionless facial expression at rest unintentionally looks...
Patient “Starving to Death” After 1 Hour NPO, Actually Starves to Death Another Hour...
NASHVILLE, TN - At midnight, patient Eric Stephens was made "NPO after midnight." After one hour, patient complained to his nurses and physicians, stating that he was "starving to death, no joke." His medical...