Pregnant Mother Having Second Thoughts About Da Vinci as Her OB/GYN
NEW YORK, NY - “It dawned on me as I had my legs apart and Da Vinci loomed over me with his intimidating red...
Trauma Surgeon Struggles to Repair Hole in Favorite Pair of Pants
ATLANTA, GA - Trauma surgeon Maya Sonenstein has seen it all in her young career. “I’ve seen all kinds of trauma. My phone is...
Winnie Can’t Pooh, Needs Surgical Intervention
SUSSEX, ENGLAND - In breaking news, Winnie the Pooh can't pooh and is in fact obstructed, necessitating surgical intervention. "Oh, D-D-Dear!" cried Piglet. "I...
Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use
COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever. The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
Hospital Rat Mistaken for Pokémon
CHICAGO, IL - Northwestern University Hospital had a false alarm Saturday, where several employees mistook a hospital rat for a rare Pokémon. "I was...
Breaking Bricks No More: Mario Shatters All 27 Bones in Left Hand
WORLD 3-2 - It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt...
Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth
BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine? Not any more. According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England...
That’s So Mean: Hospital Kitchen Sends NPO Patients Empty Tray
North Portland, Oregon—The defiance of an NPO order, whether intentional or accidental, may have profound consequences, including worsening of symptoms and delay of surgical...
Headlines from the Week in Medical News
ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process.
AKRON, OH -...