CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack
ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that hospital gowns no longer be tied in the back in...
PyeongChang Tragedy: Team USA Curler Blows Out Both ACLs, MCLs, Hips, Spleen
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Curling is not for the faint of heart. In the adrenaline rush of hurling his rock down the ice, Team USA curler, John Shuster, lost his form and blew out...
Anesthesiologists Cannot Find Reason to Cancel Case Right Before Shift Change
SPOKANE, WA – In a stunning development, believed to be the first of its kind here at Southern Spokane University Hospital, a patient is currently being brought into the OR without a single word...
Surgeon Recommends Amputation as Means of Improving Weight Loss Outcomes
LOS ANGELES, CA - Los Angeles-based vascular surgeon Dr. Jackson Dyers has begun recommending that his patients living with obesity undergo above the knee amputations (AKAs) as a means of reducing their total body...
Hipster Loses Left Testicle Due to Excessively Tight Pants
WILLIAMSBURG, NY - Hipster Fletcher Jones was admitted to the emergency room last night with numbness and tingling around the groin. The incident occurred after riding his fixed-gear bike around Brooklyn. When Dr. Randy...
Ask a Medical Coder
Dear Medical Coder,
Over the past few days I’ve become more short of breath with wheezing and productive cough, probably due to all this grass pollen. I should tell you that I do have COPD. Should...
Universal Admission Template for a Drug Seeker
Chief Complaint:
Abdominal pain or pain due to condition that doesn’t cause pain.
History of Present Illness:
This is a really, really annoying patient with a given age and sex presenting with an acute exacerbation of a...
Da Vinci a Big Help on 14-Hour Flight
UNITED AIRLINES, MID-FLIGHT – Twenty minutes into Flight 156 from Los Angeles to Tokyo, a medical emergency took place. "Do we have a doctor on the plane?" the flight attendant asked over the loud...
Orthopaedics to Begin to Use Emojis in Progress Notes
CHICAGO, IL - In a progressive move by the National Orthopaedic Society of Orthopaedic Surgeons and Orthopaedists (NOSOSO), emojis have now been approved to be used in progress notes, as a means of increasing...