Breaking: Grand Rounds Not Particularly Grand Today
LOS ANGELES, CA - Earlier this morning vascular surgeon Dr. Emma Wexler gave Grand Rounds to her fellow colleagues at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Unfortunately...
Newly Promoted General Surgeon’s Business Cards, A Little Too True
LOS ANGELES, CA – UCLA’s newly promoted general surgeon, Assistant Professor William Heffner, just received his updated business cards today. An unfortunate error in...
Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum
LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with...
Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
Northeast Hospital the First to Institute Eyebrow Covers
A recent change in the rules governing the role of hair coverage has caused a frenzy among all surgical staff. Whereas before, a bouffant...
Polar Vortex Advice: Urologists Recommend Setting Genitals on Fire for Warmth
LINTHICUM, MD - With the polar vortex forcing them to convene a rare emergency meeting, the American Urological Association (AUA) has issued new recommendations...
Woodstock Veteran Disappointed to Learn New Joint Made of Titanium and Plastic
BERKELEY, CA - Bill “Doobie” Bogarter fondly refers to Woodstock as the “best two weeks I can’t remember.” He was the first faculty at...
Patient Alarmed After Noticing Surgeon’s Shoelace Untied
MARIETTA, GA - Multiple sources are confirming that local patient Harry Dander is growing increasingly concerned for his upcoming surgery after noticing that his...
Ask a Drug Seeker
Dear Drug Seeker,
I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...