Da Vinci a Big Help on 14-Hour Flight
UNITED AIRLINES, MID-FLIGHT – Twenty minutes into Flight 156 from Los Angeles to Tokyo, a medical emergency took place. "Do we have a doctor...
American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...
WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
Michael Phelps Has a Few Too Many Cupping Marks Near Genitals
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Although Michael Phelps has already drawn attention to the healing technique known as cupping with multiple circular bruises spotted...
White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity
WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service...
Raising Obesity BMI Classification to 35 Would Cut Obesity Rates by 42%
WASHINGTON, DC - Obesity has become a significant burden upon the medical system in the United States and the American Medical Association (AMA) has decided...
Committee Investigates Surgeon Whose Shoes Are Always Untied
BEND, OR - The credentials review committee at Our Lady of Hope Medical Center has started investigative proceedings against general surgeon Dr. David Wymer. Wymer...
97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
Medical Schools to Replace Curriculum with Year-Long Course in ICD-10 and E&M Coding
In a visionary statement, the deans of ten of this nation’s top medical schools, including four Ivy League schools announced today that they are...
Stricter Operating Room Attire Policy Now Calls for Decapitation
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After extensive evidence-based research, recent updates to the hospital policy for OR hats and attire were released at the staff...
Song of the Diverticulite (Morphine on High at 3am)
All the bickering of which is best
The song, the canvass, the word, the marbled stone,
The rest
Pittance such luxury
Lacking any test
Pittance yes!
Void of existential quest
Ver-Sed,...