Surgery

da vinci robot

Da Vinci Robots to be Deployed for Snow Shoveling

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Ever get cold shoveling?  Or exhausted?  Maybe it is time to try the daVinci robot shovel.  This fantastic extension for the...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...
surgery

New England Urologists Being Investigated for Deflated Balls

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BOSTON, MA - According to sources close to GomerBlog, an American Urological Association (AUA) investigation has found that 11 out of 12 balls belonging...
Black & Blue Friday

ACEP Renames Black Friday ‘Black & Blue Friday’

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IRVING, TX - Recognizing Black Friday not as the first day of the holiday shopping season but as a day to "kill each other...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...

Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table

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DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table...
spay neuter frightened favorite pen

Laparoscopic Training Box Septic After Practice Session with Interns

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An inanimate training apparatus, made up of a plastic box with holes to place a laparoscopic camera and graspers, is in critical condition after...
acl knee

Orthopedic Surgeon Arrested for Using Duct Tape to Repair ACLs

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PORTSMOUTH, NH - An 8-year investigation ended with a shocking revelation and arrest out of New Hampshire today as orthopedic surgeon Dr. Terrance Ancef-Bonecutt...
dick prick urologist urology

Short on Wound VACs, Surgeon Slaps On Hoover

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Nearing completion of the debridement of an infected wound but learning that the hospital was short on wound VACs, University...
skeleton rearview mirror

Breaking News: 10 Bucks Says an Orthopod Drives This Car with a Skeleton Hanging...

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Okay, okay, breaking news into Gomerblog headquarters: a yellow convertible had just been spotted in Point State Park with a miniature skeleton...