It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists
NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan...
New Beard Policy Being Adopted at Many Hospitals in OR Clothing Algorithm
Dear Hospital Employees,
The following beard policy is being put into effect for your entire hospital. This includes parking areas, food courts, and adjacent land. We...
Salivation Army Collects Record Number of Oral Secretions for Those in Need
LONDON, ENGLAND - The Salivation Army, an organization renowned all the world over for its charitable efforts, has announced that a recent donation drive ending...
Ophthalmologists Bracing Themselves for Full Day of Work After Solar Eclipse
SALEM, OR - Ophthalmologists throughout the country are bracing themselves for what could be an entire day of work immediately after the solar eclipse...
97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Elephant Complains of Chest Pain ‘Like a Human Sitting on My Chest’
NEW YORK, NY - At approximately 6:00 AM this morning, a local elephant named Eli the Elephant developed excruciating ten out of ten chest...
Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines
NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU. Thankfully he...
Internal Medicine Resident Performs IPPA on Eye Exam OSCE Station
An internal medicine resident at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada provided some much-needed entertainment for a bored OSCE examiner during part...