Surgery

emergency room

Breaking News: Ah Crap, You-Know-Who is Back in the ER

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YOUR HOSPITAL, YOUR CITY, YOUR STATE - Ah, crap.  GomerBlog is sad to report… GomerBlog really doesn’t want to tell you this.  But we feel...
surgery first

Surgery is First Choice at Small Hospital

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FRENCH GULCH, CA - Emergency Physicians and Orthopedic Surgeons at a small California hospital are excited about a new treatment modality for managing musculoskeletal...
ophthalmology

Precious Ophthalmologist Tries to Help During Code

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PITTSBURGH, PA – Arriving to the surgical ICU with his little box full of eye equipment, precious ophthalmologist Thomas Finkle reportedly tried to help...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

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PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...
neurosurgeon

ACGME Caps Neurosurgery Residency Hours to 80 Hours Per Day

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In a surprising change in culture, the ACGME, in collaboration with the World Health Organization and several other human rights groups, have decided to...

Game of Thrones HMOs Going Bankrupt

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KINGS LANDING, WESTERNOS - Following a three-year onslaught of unexpected increases in operating cost, all five major health maintenance organization (HMO) companies serving the Seven...
anesthesiologist hospital

Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions

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SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
Surgery

Anesthesiologists Compare Arm Tans While Surgeon Repairs Penetrating Aortic Injury

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ATLANTA, GA – As local trauma surgeon Dr. Andre Mackersie desperately tried to gain control of a massively exsanguinating abdominal aortic gunshot wound, the...
cell phone brain cancer

Alarming Study Finds Malignant Brain Cancers Appear on Side of Cell Phone Use

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BOSTON, MA - A new multi-center randomized study to be published next week in Medicine found that a whopping 52.4% (+/- 3.67% with p-value 0.02) of brain cancers are...
bloody armpits, bleeding armpits

Woman Not Sure if She’s Using Crutches Correctly

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TOWSON, MD - A local woman by the name of Mary Ellis, who sustained a fracture of her right medial sesamoid bone during a...