Surgery

medulla oblongata intramedullary nail IMN

Orthopod Places Intramedullary Nail Into Medulla Oblongata

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ANN ARBOR, MI - Expanding the possibilities of what can be done in the subspecialty of orthopedic surgery, orthopod Brock Hammersley has placed an...
Sudoku

Anesthesiologist Calls for STAT Sudoku Help in OR 3

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PHOENIX, AZ – St. Joe’s Outpatient Surgery Center’s anesthesiologist Dr. James Robinson was twenty-two minutes into performing anesthesia on a 31-year-old ASA 1 for...
meatball sub appendix

Teamwork at its Finest: Surgeons Successfully Divide Meatball Sub in Three

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COOKEVILLE, TN - An a dazzling display of what can be achieved in an operating room when everyone brings their A game and is...
patient in hospital NPO after discharge

Tips: How to Worsen Your Already-Terrible Bedside Manner

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You may find your bedside manner is pretty terrible given how busy you are and your general frustration with humanity as a whole.  If...

OR Shutdown Enters Third Week as Drape Wall Dispute Remains Deadlocked

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KEARNEY, NE - An operating room at Kind Samaritan Hospital (KSH) has entered a third week of shutdown as Anesthesia and Surgery continued to...
confused surgeon

Surgeon Discovers He’s Not God, Chaos Ensues

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MOUNTAINDALE, OR - A general surgeon at Mountaindale Memorial was shocked to discover Tuesday night that he is not God, contrary to prior belief. Dr....
surgery resident

New Surgical Intern Faints at Sight of Blood Pressure

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LITTLE FALLS, MN—Dr. Daya Stolick, a new surgical intern, hardly broke a sweat when there was a massive amount of blood loss during her...
mri scanner

New Super Duper Minimally Invasive Transurethral Aortic Valve Replacement Gaining Popularity

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NEW HAVEN, CT - Patients across the country are calling their doctors at all hours asking to be scheduled for the newest minimally invasive...
surgeons

American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...

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WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
absolute zero Kelvin

Breaking: Surgeon Sets OR Temperature to Absolute Zero (-273.15° Celsius)

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MIAMI, FL - General surgeon Thomas Rauch has entered into the Surgery Hall of Fame (SHOF) today after setting the temperature in his operating...