Surgery

Journal of Urology to be renamed “Balls”

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In a controversial move, the American Urological Association (AUA) has changed the name of their prestigious Journal of Urology to Balls. The unanticipated change...
new ortho consult

Appropriate IM Consult Criteria According to IM Versus According to Ortho

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WOONSOCKET, RI - After a decades long proxy battle typically waged through interns and passive aggressive notes, the leaders of the Internal Medicine and...
airplane

Pilot Makes Passengers NPO After Midnight for Flight Tomorrow

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to minimize the risk of aspiration during tomorrow's three-hour East coast flight from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to Boston's Logan...
pathology tumor board

Pathology Resident Makes Up Disease at Tumor Board, Groundbreaking Discovery

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CHICAGO, IL - A second-year pathology resident, Dr. Daniel Platt, is being credited with discovering a new tumor following a presentation at his hospital's tumor...
Ancef pump

Orthopod Caught Auscultating Ancef Pump

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ATLANTA, GA - "Shhh," orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley told befuddled onlookers as he used a stethoscope (or, as he puts it, "a mini jump rope") to...

Local Orthopedic’s Practice Gives Away Free Pogo Sticks

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NAPERVILLE, IL – Local orthopedic practice Grahm-Livingston-Henn have been giving away free pogo sticks for the past 4 months.  Coincidentally business has boomed! An official...

Trojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves

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In an effort to diversify their market share, Trojan has unveiled a new line of “Bare Skin” surgical gloves aimed to maximize the surgeon’s...
dick prick urologist urology

Surgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names

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The plenary session of the annual American College of Surgeons meeting was brought to a standstill last Saturday when the keynote speaker, Dr. Davinci,...
daughter to hospital day

Hospital’s ‘Take Your Daughter to Work’ Day Not Such a Good Idea

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Hepatobiliary surgeon Dr. Jeanne Devereux was disappointed.  "How hard could it be?!" she fumed.  "Just hold the damn retractor and...

Restaurant Patrons Sickened After Eavesdropping on Medical Professionals During Meal

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HAMDEN, CT - It was a chaotic scene at the local 24-hour diner as a mass casualty incident (MCI) requiring the response of multiple...