Surgery

Maria Sharapova shriek

Sharapova Returns with Shriek So Strong Her Own Ear Bleeds

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FLUSHING, NY - In the fourth game of the third set, Sharapova unleashed a powerful forehand winner with a shriek so piercing it caused...
hungry patient

Patient “Starving to Death” After 1 Hour NPO, Actually Starves to Death Another Hour...

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NASHVILLE, TN - At midnight, patient Eric Stephens was made "NPO after midnight."  After one hour, patient complained to his nurses and physicians, stating...
paper cut level VIII trauma center

Level VIII Trauma Center Can Only Take Care of Paper Cuts Really

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SANDERSVILLE, GA - Sandersville Medical Center, a recently-opened Level VIII Trauma Center located two hours southwest of Atlanta, barely has any resources whatsoever and...
doctor notes DVT PE

Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds

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ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...

Medical Researcher Belatedly Realizes His Paper Was Published in The Anals of Internal Medicine

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DES MOINES, IA – With dawning horror, local medical researcher Dr. Clint Malloy realized he had been mistaken to believe his recent paper was accepted...

Presidential Election Medical Memes

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Optometrist, Ophthalmologist to Duke it Out at Flagpole at 3 PM Tomorrow

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CHICAGO, IL - With many in health care wondering if this is the apotheosis between two long-time warring factions, optometrist Rick Fovea and ophthalmologist...

Ask a Drug Seeker

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Dear Drug Seeker, I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...
Break a leg!

Wishing ‘Break a Leg!’ Increases Risk of Femur Fracture by 85%

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ROSEMONT, IL - The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons reports that the theatrical superstition of wishing good luck to stage performers in the form of the...
Pikachu, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Pikachu Spotted in Man’s Colon

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ENDOSCOPY SUITE 9 - On the heels of Pokémon Go's release on July 6 that signaled a comeback for the 1990s Nintendo franchise, GomerBlog is...