Surgery

Urologists Recommend Against Buddy Taping for Penile Fractures

0
WIENER, AR - Last weekend local man Joseph Peyronie sustained a penile fracture in a tragic mishap involving a lawnmower, a tire swing, and...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

0
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...
INR 0 ENT

ENT Changes Focus to Elbows, Nipples & Testicles

0
ALEXANDRIA, VA - Saying 2020 is finally going to be the year where they really change things up, the nation's ENTs will be fully...

Hospital for Special Surgery Admits to not Being “That Special”

0
New York, NY- In an official announcement of something that has been known in ortho circles for quite some time, the Hospital for Special...
gauze

Mildly Annoyed Surgeon Throws 4×4 Gauze Across Operating Room

0
KEOKUK, IA – According to reports from Mercy Hospital, local general surgeon Greg McKelvey became so mildly frustrated by the OR staff, that he threw...
nursemaids marching

Nation’s Nursemaids March to Clear Name

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Nursemaids from around the nation convened on the National Mall Tuesday to rally against what they called, “years of injustice and...
Da Vinci, Bowser, Super Mario Bros

Da Vinci on Quest to Rescue Princess Toadstool

0
WORLD 2-4, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - We have just received word that the Da Vinci Surgical Robot has embarked on a quest to save Princess...
external fixator Tom Price Washington Monument

Secretary Tom Price Places Ex-Fix on Washington Monument

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Less than 24 hours after his Senate confirmation, orthopedic surgeon and new Secretary of Health and Human Services Dr. Tom Price...
garden gnome

Study: 90% Of Rectal Foreign Bodies Are Idiopathic

0
BIRMINGHAM, AL - A recent retrospective review of Birmingham, Alabama confirms that 90% of rectal foreign bodies are idiopathic.  Colorectal surgeon Joshua P Dengle...
sheep

Forget Sheep: Orthopod Counts Bones to Fall Asleep Each Night

0
MUSCLE SHOALS, AL - Calling the domesticated ruminant animal too soft and fluffy for her liking, area orthopedic surgeon Dr. Tracey Hammerhead prefers counting...