Surgery

discharge summary

ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...

Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results

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BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....
crossfit

Orthopaedic Surgeon Admits to Inventing CrossFit to Finance College for His Children

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LOS ANGELES, CA – After his twin daughters were both accepted to Ivy League colleges starting in 2000 and already paying for his son’s...
pick picks picking brain brains

Neurosurgeon Loves Picking Colleagues’ Brains, Taking Biopsies

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BOSTON, MA - Dr. Ramon Rodriguez is an incredibly brilliant neurosurgeon at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (BIDMC), and if there's one thing he...
angry patient

Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...

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Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...

Proctologists Have Record 2015, as Many Were Butthurt on the Internet

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The National Association of Proctologists (NAP) reported record profits for proctologists in 2015 as an unprecedented number of people were butthurt from internet-related postings....
Salivation Army

Salivation Army Collects Record Number of Oral Secretions for Those in Need

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LONDON, ENGLAND - The Salivation Army, an organization renowned all the world over for its charitable efforts, has announced that a recent donation drive ending...
spay neuter frightened favorite pen

Laparoscopic Training Box Septic After Practice Session with Interns

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An inanimate training apparatus, made up of a plastic box with holes to place a laparoscopic camera and graspers, is in critical condition after...
iv fluid

Voluven to Make Comeback as an Axillary Roll

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NEWCASTLE, AUSTRALIA - The end seemed nigh for Voluven.  The volume expander has been on the ropes after large clinical trials demonstrated increased risks...
avascular necrosis

Avascular Necrosis Renamed to Slow Chronic Unfixable Bone Atrophy (SCUBA) to Stop Unnecessary STAT...

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BONE ISLAND, FL -  A condition long known by a scary-sounding name has been renamed at the American Society for Surgeons of the Hand...