Surgery

Journal of Urology to be renamed “Balls”

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In a controversial move, the American Urological Association (AUA) has changed the name of their prestigious Journal of Urology to Balls. The unanticipated change...
hospital gown ass crack

CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack

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ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that...

Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System

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NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...

General Surgery Realizes They’re Becoming the British Empire of Surgery

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Local general surgeon, Arthur Wellesley, reclined in his leather armchair yearning for the days of General Surgery domination of nearly every aspect of Surgery. ...
femur fracture

Soccer Mom Heals Femur Fracture with Herbs, Essential Oils

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ORANGE, CA - Mrs. Stephanie Holmestown experienced what all parents fear while watching their kids play sports; her eleven-year-old son Andrew collided with another player...
defibrillator

ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode

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PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
urinary tract infection

Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...

US Men’s Soccer Team Blames Loss to Trinidad On Anesthesia

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COUVA, TRINIDAD - The US Men’s National Soccer Team sustained the most disappointing loss in Team history losing to Trinidad and Tobago eliminating them...

Urologists: ‘Balls on Back of Trucks Correlates with Tiny Driver Testicle Size’

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LEXINGTON, OH - Plastic balls in a plastic scrotum hanging off the back of a pickup truck have been an extremely-common sight in and...

Orthopedic Surgeon Creates a Cyborg by Mistake After Replacing Every Joint in the Body

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“It wasn’t till my 80-year-old patient told me, 'Hasta la vista, baby,' that I realized that she has been turned into a T-810 by...