Surgery

ophtho abbreviations

An Internist’s Guide to Ophtho Abbreviations

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Ophthalmology has so many alien abbreviations, it's like they have their own specialty.  Thanks to the recent discovery of a missing piece of the...
spay neuter frightened favorite pen

Laparoscopic Training Box Septic After Practice Session with Interns

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An inanimate training apparatus, made up of a plastic box with holes to place a laparoscopic camera and graspers, is in critical condition after...
airplane

Pilot Makes Passengers NPO After Midnight for Flight Tomorrow

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to minimize the risk of aspiration during tomorrow's three-hour East coast flight from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to Boston's Logan...
need coffee

Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken

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SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
double portions

No Way, Jose: Patient Request for Double Portions Denied, Made NPO as Punishment

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BALDWIN, NY - In a defiant stance against a patient Rick Moravsky's request for double portions despite his ongoing treatment for CHF (congestive heart failure)...
fast train

Tips: How to Perform a Spinal Tap on a Moving Train

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I have to admit: spinal taps (lumbar punctures) are not one of my favorite procedures to perform.  I’m fairly certain our patients don’t enjoy...
alternative medicine

Homeopathic Burn Remedy Effective, Allopaths Stunned

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DENVER, CO - Doctors, skeptics, and the scientific community as a whole, were stunned today when the North American branch of the Society for...
reverse trendelenburg

Doctor Reverse Actually the Discoverer of Reverse-Trendelenburg

1
MUNICH, GERMANY – Agatha Reverse is a well-known surgeon from Germany around 1870, who removed numerous gallbladders.  To help her with surgical exposure she decided to place the...

Surgeon Passes Out Following OR Fentanyl Exposure, Remainder of OR Staff Unaffected

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BOSTON, MA – 94 minutes into what was a routine total knee arthroplasty, Dr. James Nairbear suddenly felt lightheaded and fell backwards landing in...