Surgery

Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table

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DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table...
golden globe

Medical Student Wins Golden Globe for Laparoscopic Cinematography in ‘Emergent Lap Chole’

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BROOKLYN, NY – Third-year medical student Praveen Chandiram has been awarded the first Golden Globe in Laparoscopic Cinematography for his work in an emergent...
acl knee

Orthopedic Surgeon Arrested for Using Duct Tape to Repair ACLs

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PORTSMOUTH, NH - An 8-year investigation ended with a shocking revelation and arrest out of New Hampshire today as orthopedic surgeon Dr. Terrance Ancef-Bonecutt...
nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...

Orthopedic Surgeon Creates a Cyborg by Mistake After Replacing Every Joint in the Body

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“It wasn’t till my 80-year-old patient told me, 'Hasta la vista, baby,' that I realized that she has been turned into a T-810 by...

Master Radiologist Able to Hedge on Every Possible Medical Condition

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BOSTON, MA – According to the abdominal CT scan report internist Dr. Sam Erikson just pulled up, master radiologist Dr. Bart Waddell has once again...
meatball sub

Search-and-Rescue Spots Man’s Penis Under Fourth Panniculus

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CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has some exciting news to report: 59-year-old Fred Turntable is crying tears of joy this morning after he was reunited...
anatomy, Independence Day

Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem

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WASHINGTON, DC - For those patients and providers in the nation's hospitals today, new special edition patriotic call lights, IV pumps, and pagers are...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Surgery Residents Bring Other MDs to Work for a Day

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5:00 am: Arrive at hospital. Peds and Psych are borderline comatose still. Medicine seems confused to find that the hospital lights work this early in...
doctor shortage

Obama Says Sweeping Changes Will Eliminate Doctor Shortage

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Speaking at a live press conference from the Rose Garden today, President Obama announced major changes to health care, that he...