Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...
Female Surgery Resident Reliant on VA Harassment for Affirmation
LOCAL VA HOSPITAL - In what has been deemed a natural progression of surgical training, local resident Sara Lowell now counts on her interactions with patient...
Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
Halloween Pumpkin Carving Scenes at the Hospital: Updated
PUMPKINVILLE, PATCH, U.S.A. - Look at these pumkins that were admitted to the hospital! OR maybe medical professionals with a warped sense of humor,...
Urology to Use Nutcracker in OR During the Holidays
TOPEKA, KS – Urologists at Mercy Hospital have announced plans to perform surgery with the help of an 8-foot-tall wooden nutcracker during the holiday...
Small-Armed Orthopaedic Surgeon Assigned to Pediatric Fellowship
DETROIT, MI – Dr. Timothy Billroy was assigned to a pediatric fellowship due to what his program director stated: small arms. “I mean the...
Ask a Surgical Intern, Part 2
He's back! The Surgical Intern is answering the mailbag once more. Let's begin!
Dear Surgical Intern,
I've been having this kind of crampy pain on...
Orthopod Replaces Patient’s Hip with a Third Arm
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Feeling that his career was in a rut, orthopod Brock Hammersley decided to spice things up a bit. Today, instead of...
ENT Cannot Bear to Watch as Man Picking Nose Tempts Fate
ATLANTA, GA - Sure, otolaryngologist Eric Osawa was trying to enjoy his day off today, but has now found himself at a coffee shop looking...