Surgery

anesthesiologist hospital

Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions

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SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Gastroenterologist Paged Record 35 Times While in Restroom

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KANSAS CITY, MO - In a stark development it has been reported that earlier this morning during a five-minute bathroom break, Dr. Timothy McFadden, a...
urologist

Urologist Does Double-Take at Correct Pronunciation of “Prostate”

ST. PAUL, MN - After 20 years of clinical practice as Professor of Urology at the University Institute, Dr. Nick Riviera had effectively become...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

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NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...
eyeball retina

Ophthalmology Resident Quits Due to Ommetaphobia

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MIAMI, FL - Dr. Henry Flickheimer, an ophthalmology resident, has struggled and coped with a certain intense fear for years.  Surprisingly, that fear is the fear...
incentive spirometer incentivized spirometer

A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Use Incentive Spirometers (or Marijuana)

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Is this your first time using an incentive spirometer (or marijuana)?  Well, you're in luck: our Gomerblog team has created this easy 15-step process...
iv pca infusion pump WiFi

Patient Perfects ‘Sliding Scale Dilaudid’ Regimen at Home

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MONROE, NC - A North Carolina woman has invented a new pain management protocol for herself, and she has experienced incredible success with controlling...

Spine Surgeon Pleads for Children to Stop Stepping On Sidewalk Cracks

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INTERCOURSE, PA – Many things have been lost in the current generation to include basic social skills, manners, and the ability to poop without...
Laparoscopic surgery

Flatulence to Blame for Failed Laparoscopic Procedure

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IOWA CITY, IA – Yesterday was a typical operating day at Holy Cross Hospital in room #12 until 1:45 p.m.  The room was a...

Urologists Nationwide Recommend ChapPrick for Dry Dicks

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LINTHICUM, MD - With a recent flare in the number of cases of males suffering from penile dryness this fall, the American Urological Association...