Surgery

new medical app

Anesthesiologist Proposes Use of Metric Time

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HOUSTON, TX - Dr. Alan Payne, an anesthesiologist and physicist, proposes the use of metric time for determining surgical time duration. “How many times at...
Master Chief halo

Breaking: Halo’s Master Chief Placed in Halo to Immobilize C-Spine

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EARTH - Gomerblog has learned in its time travel to the 26th century that Halo hero and Spartan super soldier Master Chief has been...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

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COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
doctor updating

What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...

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The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors...
surgery

Medical Students Secures “Honors” In Surgery After Successfully Naming Last 5 Songs From Pandora

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DURHAM, NC - In what has been declared the finest academic performance seen in a generation, local medical student Brian Mills successfully named the title...

Researchers Discover Length of “A While”

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ST. LOUIS, MO -  It turns out, when a patient’s symptoms have been present for “a while,” they began about 4.2 months ago. So say researchers...
anesthesia

Anesthetists Go on Strike, Local Hospital Thrown into Turmoil

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BOSTON, MA - Chaos ensued in a local hospital early yesterday morning when the whole Anesthesiology department went on a "no-show strike." "We were prepping...

Patient Boldly Quits Smoking Day Before Surgery

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CINCINNATI, OH – Local resident Charles Shoemaker has decided to stop smoking the day before his total knee replacement.  "I’ve heard there are many...
colonoscopy

Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t

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COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out...
patient in hospital

Rare Patient Asks Only for Tylenol for Pain, Receives Standing Ovation

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ATLANTA, GA - Chelsea Mason is one amazing woman.  Only 12 hours removed from a knee replacement surgery for severe osteoarthritis, Mason has left...