Surgery

chloraprep

Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion Due To ChloraPrep From Last Plastic Surgery

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WASHINGTON, D.C - The U.S. Surgeon General accidentally revealed in a recent interview that President Trump’s skin tone is actually a normal shade of...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...
gauze for abscess

Scented Packing Gauze Makes Abscesses Fresh and Fun

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PROVIDENCE, RI - The field of wound care is taking note of a new line of whimsically-scented wound packing products pioneered by Quintac Hospital. ...
yellow isolation ballroom gown

Dior’s New Yellow Isolation Ballroom Gowns are Stunning

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PARIS, FRANCE - In breaking news that has the fashion industry stirring, designers at Christian Dior are bringing style back into isolation rooms by...
Fireworks

Local ED Refuses to Take Care of Firework Injuries This July 4th

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NEW BERN, NC - A local New Bern emergency department has made it abundantly clear to the town that they will be refusing to...

Anesthesiologist in Flap Room Refutes Reports of Peegasms, Calls for Multicenter Prospective Trial

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Dr. I. Kaffeinate is prominent Canadian anesthesiologist who is raising doubts about a recently reported article1 in which urologists were warning women of a...
swat team elite HIPAA stormtroopers

Nurse & Doctor Held Hostage by Patient Who Keeps Talking

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ATLANTA, GA - GomerBlog reports a tense standoff at Georgia Medical Center (GMC) where both nurse Chris Landry and internist Ashley Barnett have been...
femurs

Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...
surgery

Medical Student Discovers Niche in Surgery as Edward Retractor Hands

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MADISON, WI - "That’s not my real name, but it works," stated Jimmy M. Smith, a third-year medical student from UW Madison Medical School. The...
nutcracker, OR

Urology to Use Nutcracker in OR During the Holidays

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TOPEKA, KS – Urologists at Mercy Hospital have announced plans to perform surgery with the help of an 8-foot-tall wooden nutcracker during the holiday...