Surgery

OR Replaces Surgical Site Marking Pens with Marking Scalpels

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SIOUX CITY, IA – In an effort to improve surgical safety for patients, Mercy Hospital now requires all surgical sites to be marked with...

Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship Teaches Students How to Match Cufflinks with Pocket Watches

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NEW YORK — Students enrolled in the Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship were surprised when they were instructed via electronic mail not to report to...

RN, MD Confused After Patient Requests Pain Med That Begins with an E

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ATLANTA, GA - An inpatient health care team has been baffled all day by a patient’s persistent requests for pain medication, but it’s not...

Pokémon Go Update: Local Man Walks Into an OR to Catch Rare Pokémon: Abra

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Local man, Danny Nguyen, wandered into St. Elizabeth Hospital's operating room chasing down a rare Pokémon: Abra. "I had no idea...

Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room.  She refuses...
patient satisfaction flag

Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
left hand

New Ortho Sub-Subspecialty Left Hand Fellowship Announced!

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COLLEGE PARK, MD - Fresh out of the ABMS office, it has been confirmed, Dr. Geaux Negolfing has applied and been approved to start...
nurse eye roll

Breaking News: Nurse’s Eyes Get Stuck After Aggressive Eye Roll

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ORLANDO, FL - Beth Stanfield, a middle-aged nurse, was transported to the ophthalmology department earlier today when her eyes got stuck in an aggressive...
crossfit

Orthopaedic Surgeon Admits to Inventing CrossFit to Finance College for His Children

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LOS ANGELES, CA – After his twin daughters were both accepted to Ivy League colleges starting in 2000 and already paying for his son’s...

Fake News: Tiger Wasn’t Pulled Over for DUI, He Was Post-Call

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PALM BEACH, FL - Reports have surfaced that CNN's original claim that Tiger Woods was arrested for driving under the influence are false.  It...