Genuine ‘Slipped and Fell’ Rectal Foreign Body Victim Stuns Experts
RICHMOND, VA - In what is thought to be a world's first, witnesses have confirmed that a young Virginian man genuinely slipped and fell...
It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists
NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan...
Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix
BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning.
"You...
Curare Darts Phased Out Despite Drug Shortages
MACON, GA - Like many medical centers, St. Joseph the Protector Hospital is experiencing severe drug shortages, especially in the operating room. The latest unobtainable...
Numerous Elected Officials Suffering From Bizarre Triad of Abdominal Jaundice, Gelatinous Vertebrae, & Microorchidism
WASHINGTON, DC - Capitol doctors, thanks to information-sharing initiatives promoted by the Affordable Care Act, have uncovered what they describe as a “devastating” illness...
Orthopod Places Intramedullary Nail Into Medulla Oblongata
ANN ARBOR, MI - Expanding the possibilities of what can be done in the subspecialty of orthopedic surgery, orthopod Brock Hammersley has placed an...
Alarming Study Finds Malignant Brain Cancers Appear on Side of Cell Phone Use
BOSTON, MA - A new multi-center randomized study to be published next week in Medicine found that a whopping 52.4% (+/- 3.67% with p-value 0.02) of brain cancers are...
Alternate Phrases for “This is a Very Pleasant…”
It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant…...
The Vas-Band: Vasectomies No More
REIMS, FRANCE - French urologist, Dr. Jacques LeStrappe, presented his newest innovation at the recent International Society of Urologists in Geneva, Switzerland that will...
Intern Asks Nurse for Multiple Choices Before Making Decision
On his first week as a surgery intern, Dane Colbert began what is sure to be a storied career in medicine by asking the nurse...