‘Arrival’ Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods
MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival,...
Frustrated Urologist Designs Obscenity-Screaming Stent
BOSTON, MA - It started in 2007 when Dr. Ronald Jeremy, a staff urologist, was on his way out the door to the departmental...
General Surgery Realizes They’re Becoming the British Empire of Surgery
Local general surgeon, Arthur Wellesley, reclined in his leather armchair yearning for the days of General Surgery domination of nearly every aspect of Surgery. ...
As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...
BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Nursing Student Enters OR Without Shoe Covers: Beatings Commence
WARWICK, RI - The student nurse stared nervously at the blood-red line bisecting the hallway. Scrub hat and surgical mask, check. Full breakfast and...
ENT Changes Focus to Elbows, Nipples & Testicles
ALEXANDRIA, VA - Saying 2020 is finally going to be the year where they really change things up, the nation's ENTs will be fully...
Surgeon Performs In-Utero Tommy John Surgery
KANSAS CITY – A surgeon in Kansas City reports he has performed the world’s first in-utero Tommy John surgery. A hospital spokesperson states that the...
