Surgery

nosebleeds epistaxis

Rangers Fan with Seats in Nosebleeds Exsanguinates from Epistaxis

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NEW YORK, NY - Gomerblog is sad to report that 68-year-old lifelong Rangers fan, Michael Richter, unfortunately passed away midway through the third period of...
obese man

Breaking: 400-lb. Patient Not Actually Big-Boned

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AUBURN, AL – Albert “Big Al” McGriddle has been told all his life by his Mama that he wasn’t fat, he was just “big...
salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

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DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...

Hospital Administrators to Evaluate Surgeon’s Potential for Revenue Versus Headache Generation

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NASHVILLE, TN - Noted researchers Dr. Harvey Stephens and Dr. Phil Burman offer a new matrix for evaluating surgeons for employment.  The STAR (Surgeon...
bladder trial voiding

Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding

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ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order...
Rand Paul

Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level

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KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...
Dab

MS3 Responsible for Additional 50cc Blood Loss During Surgery for Doing ‘The Dab’ Instead...

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AKRON, OH - After working in academics for over 20 years in Gynecology, Dr. Marshall thought she had seen it all. But a whole...

5.8 Million Packers Fans Sign Up to Donate Their Clavicles to Aaron Rodgers

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GREEN BAY, WI - After Aaron Rodgers went down in Sunday's game against the Minnesota Vikings (0 Super Bowl trophies in team history), Packers (5...

OR Replaces Surgical Site Marking Pens with Marking Scalpels

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SIOUX CITY, IA – In an effort to improve surgical safety for patients, Mercy Hospital now requires all surgical sites to be marked with...
love at second sight nearsightedness

Most Cases of Love at Second Sight Due to Nearsightedness

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - We've all heard the phrase "Love at first sight."  But what about those people who don't fall in love at...