Surgery

patient in hospital NPO after discharge

Tips: How to Worsen Your Already-Terrible Bedside Manner

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You may find your bedside manner is pretty terrible given how busy you are and your general frustration with humanity as a whole.  If...
ventilator

2016 Updated Laws of the House of God

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If you haven't read The House of God yet and you are in medicine, stop reading our blog and go read it.  It really...
Brie Hammersley complete blood loss

Op Note: ‘Successful Despite Complete Blood Loss’

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - With the exception of complete and total blood loss, today's routine total left hip arthroplasty was a resounding success devoid of...
Super Mario 27 Bones

Breaking Bricks No More: Mario Shatters All 27 Bones in Left Hand

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WORLD 3-2 - It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt...

Virginia Designates Bovie Electrocautery as an Assault Scalpel, Subsequently Bans it

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Richmond, VA – In the brief time since the calendar turned to 2020, the Virginia House and Senate have passed several bills aimed at limiting...
daughter to hospital day

Hospital’s ‘Take Your Daughter to Work’ Day Not Such a Good Idea

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Hepatobiliary surgeon Dr. Jeanne Devereux was disappointed.  "How hard could it be?!" she fumed.  "Just hold the damn retractor and...
laughter best medicine Ativan

Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth

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BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine?  Not any more.  According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England...
BLS online

New Research Shows Virtual Online BLS/ACLS Course Not Saving Real Lives

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PHOENIX, AZ - Although popular with millennials and medical administrators, new research shows that online BLS/ACLS training is not effective at instilling the muscle-memory...
Crayola, codes

Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes

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EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...

Fake News: Tiger Wasn’t Pulled Over for DUI, He Was Post-Call

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PALM BEACH, FL - Reports have surfaced that CNN's original claim that Tiger Woods was arrested for driving under the influence are false.  It...