Surgery

Wellness Lecture Scheduled on Christmas Morning

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NEW YORK, NY - In a dramatic move that is sure to send shock waves through the medical community, an elite Surgical Residency program...

Breaking News: Attending Surgeon Follows Management Advice of Attractive New Nurse

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NEW YORK, NY - Earlier this morning on rounds at St. Daniel’s Hospital in New York City, surgical residents and veteran nurses alike were astounded by...
abdomen

NIH Close to Uncovering Elusive Fifth Abdominal Quadrant

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BETHESDA, MD - Sensing a breakthrough is imminent, scientists at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have publicly announced they are indeed very close...

Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA

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WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic. This hasn't been an...
aorta

Skilled Phlebotomist Draws Blood from Aorta

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NASHVILLE, TN - Warned ahead of time that the patient was a notoriously difficult stick, madly-skilled phlebotomist Mattie Stevenson pulled off a neat little...
MRI scanner claustrophobia

New General Electric MRI Scanner 20 Times Louder Than Ever

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SCHENECTADY, NY - General Electric (GE) plans to revolutionize the course of magnetic resonance (MR) history once more when later this month they introduce...
gloves glove

Out of Mediums, Brave Nurse Grabs Small Gloves & Throws Caution to the Wind

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RALEIGH, NC - It's one of the those scary scenarios every health care professional has faced at one time or another in their medical...

Headlines from the Week in Medical News

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ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process. AKRON, OH -...
powerpoint presentations

Boring PowerPoints New Leading Cause of Death Among Health Care Practitioners

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ATLANTA, GA - A new study published in the latest issue of the Journal of Small Font & Uninteresting Topics (JSFUT) revealed that sinfully...
medicine abbreviations

Ophtho’s Guide to Internal Medicine Abbreviations

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Not long ago we asked our Medicine colleagues to help us learn about ophtho abbreviations, which we did.  Time to reverse the roles: Gomerblog...