Nadal Calls Medical Timeout After Limbs Fall Off During Epic Rally
FLUSHING, NY - No. 1 seed Rafael Nadal cruised to victory in his opening match against Dujan Lajovic despite calling a brief medical timeout...
Orthopod Has Near-Death Experience Until Internist Responds to Call for Doctor Mid-Flight
SOMEWHERE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN - Dr. Brock Hammersley felt nauseated and sweaty and experienced the feeling of an elephant sitting on his chest with...
Wildly-Inaccurate Operative Note Inspires New Approach to Gastric Bypass
Gastrointestinal surgeon Perry Rush discovered a wildly-inaccurate post operative note in a patient chart last month that has become inspiration for a radical new...
Alarming Study Finds Malignant Brain Cancers Appear on Side of Cell Phone Use
BOSTON, MA - A new multi-center randomized study to be published next week in Medicine found that a whopping 52.4% (+/- 3.67% with p-value 0.02) of brain cancers are...
Surgeons are Furious! The Bouffant vs. The Skull Cap
For decades, the skull cap has been the surgical cap of choice for many surgeons across the country. Recently, hospitals have begun banning the...
Proctologists Have Record 2015, as Many Were Butthurt on the Internet
The National Association of Proctologists (NAP) reported record profits for proctologists in 2015 as an unprecedented number of people were butthurt from internet-related postings....
Four-Year-Old Teaches Surgeons Emotional Intelligence
After the 22nd time (in 2014) that one of its surgeons violated the strict no-tolerance professionalism policy, University Medical Center decided that there should...
Surgeon in Corner Running the Da Vinci is Actually Just Playing Video Games
COLUMBUS, OH - A revelation concerning the function of the da Vinci robot console recently came to light when a circulating nurse discovered its...
New Weight Loss Surgery to Bypass Stomach, Mouth Completely
BALTIMORE, MD – Calling the new procedure a “miracle in bariatric surgery,” physicians at John’s Hopkins University spoke at a press conference last Saturday...
Numerous Elected Officials Suffering From Bizarre Triad of Abdominal Jaundice, Gelatinous Vertebrae, & Microorchidism
WASHINGTON, DC - Capitol doctors, thanks to information-sharing initiatives promoted by the Affordable Care Act, have uncovered what they describe as a “devastating” illness...