Surgery

abdominal pain

Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop

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In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox."  Long speculated...
hypothalamus

Unable to Fix Office Thermostat, Neurosurgeon Removes Own Hypothalamus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Talk to any health care professional and they'll tell you that self-treatment is not the best idea. However, for one...

‘Those Other Doctors’ Don’t Exist

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EAST ST. LOUIS, MO - GomerBlog is bringing you the biggest story since police in St. Louis apprehended these two guys.  You know the type: thugs...

Genuine ‘Slipped and Fell’ Rectal Foreign Body Victim Stuns Experts

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RICHMOND, VA - In what is thought to be a world's first, witnesses have confirmed that a young Virginian man genuinely slipped and fell...

Hospital for Special Surgery Admits to not Being “That Special”

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New York, NY- In an official announcement of something that has been known in ortho circles for quite some time, the Hospital for Special...
waiting on hold on phone

Fears Grow As Even More Doctors Die On Neverending Phone Hold

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released chilling statistics demonstrating an epidemic of doctor deaths while on endless phone holds.  "This is a disturbing trend,"...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
traffic jam outside of operating room

Traffic Report: Pile-Up In Front of OR 21

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HOUSTON, TX - At approximately 5:13 PM today there was a multiple-bed collision in front of OR 21 causing a delay in all outbound...
sprained ankle

The Difference Between RICE & Rice

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Today, we distinguish between another two often-confused entities: RICE and rice. RICE is an acronym that stands for Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation.  RICE is...
aisle 9 home depot

Breaking: Orthopods Spotted in Aisle 9 of Home Depot

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FORT MYERS, FL - In breaking news here at Gomerblog, a herd of orthopods has just been spotted in aisle 9 of Home Depot....