Uber Offers In-Hospital Patient Transport with UberGURNEY
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating...
What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...
The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors...
Breaking: Surgeon Sets OR Temperature to Absolute Zero (-273.15° Celsius)
MIAMI, FL - General surgeon Thomas Rauch has entered into the Surgery Hall of Fame (SHOF) today after setting the temperature in his operating...
Let Me Have at Your Johnson
EXAM ROOM 4, UROLOGY CLINIC - Hello, sir. You seem a little bit nervous. Well, there’s no need for that, I can assure you. After...
Attending Gives Medical Student Honors For Standing Out Of The Way In The Operating...
SAN DIEGO, CA - “Impeccable.” Atoway, a third year medical student, was floored as he read his attending’s evaluation for him on his surgery...
Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit
DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%. Bowers...
Mildly Annoyed Surgeon Throws 4×4 Gauze Across Operating Room
KEOKUK, IA – According to reports from Mercy Hospital, local general surgeon Greg McKelvey became so mildly frustrated by the OR staff, that he threw...
Breaking News: Attending Surgeon Follows Management Advice of Attractive New Nurse
NEW YORK, NY - Earlier this morning on rounds at St. Daniel’s Hospital in New York City, surgical residents and veteran nurses alike were astounded by...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...