Medical Students Secures “Honors” In Surgery After Successfully Naming Last 5 Songs From Pandora
DURHAM, NC - In what has been declared the finest academic performance seen in a generation, local medical student Brian Mills successfully named the title...
Medical Student Discovers Niche in Surgery as Edward Retractor Hands
MADISON, WI - "That’s not my real name, but it works," stated Jimmy M. Smith, a third-year medical student from UW Madison Medical School. The...
Intern Shocked to Discover TV Residency and Real Residency Vastly Different
BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Anita Campbell dreamt of becoming a physician for years. Three months ago, she finally graduated from medical school to fulfill...
Bernie Sanders’ Hernia Likely Caused by Strain of Attempting to Lift Up Middle Class
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source close to the colorectal surgeon who treated Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders for an abdominal hernia this week said...
Radiologist Reports His Dictations in Haiku Form
Dr. Gerald Wong, a veteran radiologist with 5 months before his retirement, was interviewed yesterday by E.J. Weekly on how his new style of...
Friday ‘Dump Job’ Ends Back on Hospitalist
PORTLAND, MA – Hospitalist Dr. Doug Moore was trying to plan ahead for his upcoming weekend. He knew he had to take Ms. Williams off his...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Med Student Wins Award for ‘Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique’
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Anna Sturgeon is this year's recipient of the prestigious award for "Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique." She narrowly beat another top...
Medicine Consulted by Orthopedics on Medicine Patient
OMAHA, NE - Earlier today on an inpatient medical/surgical floor at Nebraska Medical Center, a confusing series of events in the care of hospitalized...