Surgery

orthopedic surgeon

Orthopedic Note Simply Says “Covfefe”

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SYRACUSE, NY - Last night at approximately 2 AM, an orthopedic resident on call at St. Francis Hospital dropped a post-operative check note in...

General Surgery Realizes They’re Becoming the British Empire of Surgery

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Local general surgeon, Arthur Wellesley, reclined in his leather armchair yearning for the days of General Surgery domination of nearly every aspect of Surgery. ...
isolation gown

How to Put on a Contact Isolation Gown

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If you've never done it before, putting on a contact isolation gown can be quite tricky.  It might be easier to put on a...

Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room.  She refuses...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

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PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...
sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...
em physician

45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient

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PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home...

Journal of Urology to be renamed “Balls”

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In a controversial move, the American Urological Association (AUA) has changed the name of their prestigious Journal of Urology to Balls. The unanticipated change...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

Breaking: Ortho Declares War on Sticks & Stones

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ROSEMONT, IL - The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) has officially declared war on sticks and stones, Gomerblog reports.  “Starting today we formally declare...

Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge

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As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most...