HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the...
ACGME Caps Neurosurgery Residency Hours to 80 Hours Per Day
In a surprising change in culture, the ACGME, in collaboration with the World Health Organization and several other human rights groups, have decided to...
NASA: New Planet Discovered with Equatorial Volcano and Rivers of Lava
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a news conference held early this morning, NASA astronomers announced they have discovered a new planet next to Pluto with features...
New Orthopedic Surgery Simulator a Warehouse Filled with Tree Stumps, Blunt Ax
PORTLAND, OR - Oregon Health and Sciences University recently unveiled their innovative new orthopedic surgery simulator, which consists of a large industrial warehouse filled...
Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...
Skilled Phlebotomist Draws Blood from Aorta
NASHVILLE, TN - Warned ahead of time that the patient was a notoriously difficult stick, madly-skilled phlebotomist Mattie Stevenson pulled off a neat little...
Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving
DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country. Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration...
Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...
Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table
DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table...
Orthopod Replaces Patient’s Hip with a Third Arm
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Feeling that his career was in a rut, orthopod Brock Hammersley decided to spice things up a bit. Today, instead of...