Increased Consults for ‘Cold Extremities’ Occurring During Snowstorm, ER Docs Puzzled
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A shortage of vascular surgeons has been discovered in the north- east due to an absurd amount a vascular consults...
New Beard Policy Being Adopted at Many Hospitals in OR Clothing Algorithm
Dear Hospital Employees,
The following beard policy is being put into effect for your entire hospital. This includes parking areas, food courts, and adjacent land. We...
Book of Delivery Menus Missing, 20 Night Nurses & Doctors Die of Hunger
AUGUSTA, GA - Medical personnel, patients, and families at Augusta Medical Center (AMC) are in mourning this morning as 20 night nurses and physicians...
Med Student Excited to be First Assist for Turkey Carving This Thanksgiving
ST. LOUIS, MO - While many medical students will be spending Thanksgiving at home with their families, third-year medical student (MS3) Brent Tryhard has...
Plastic Surgery Forced to Rebrand Due to Negative Association with Global Warming
Plastic Surgery has been getting a bad wrap for their association with the deteriorating brand value of plastic in the current climate of global...
The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals
I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I...
Medical Center Starts New ‘Something Surgical’ Residency
TRIANGLE CITY, NC – In an effort to recruit more medical students to its struggling graduate medical education (GME) program, Central State Regional Medical...
Breaking: Medical Student Faints on Rounds, No One Cares
NEW ORLEANS, LA - During vascular surgery rounds this morning, a medical student fainted in a patient’s room, and no one cared.
“On the vascular...
Boring PowerPoints New Leading Cause of Death Among Health Care Practitioners
ATLANTA, GA - A new study published in the latest issue of the Journal of Small Font & Uninteresting Topics (JSFUT) revealed that sinfully...
Yikes: Patient Reports 1.5 Liters of Urine Input
LOS ANGELES, CA - Completely catching his inpatient team off guard, a hospitalized patient informed his urologist this morning not only had his urine...