Thousands Dead in Battle Between Ophthalmologists and Optometrists
WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of eye care providers were found dead in the streets Monday morning after a vicious battle erupted between ophthalmologists and...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Admits to Inventing CrossFit to Finance College for His Children
LOS ANGELES, CA – After his twin daughters were both accepted to Ivy League colleges starting in 2000 and already paying for his son’s...
Local Jeweler Proposes with 4-Karat Kidney Stone Ring
COLUMBUS, OH - On a recent romantic trip to the yellow river in Asia, world-renowned jeweler Rocky Ureter of Columbus, Ohio popped the question to his longtime...
‘Toodles’ Purchased from Disney by Medtronic, OR Complications Hit All-Time Low
ORLANDO, CA - Medical device giant Medtronic pulled off a risky, but fatefully brilliant move recently. For $1.2 billion dollars, the company purchased the...
Traffic Report: Pile-Up In Front of OR 21
HOUSTON, TX - At approximately 5:13 PM today there was a multiple-bed collision in front of OR 21 causing a delay in all outbound...
Hospital Enacts New Mandatory Happy Hour for Employees
BOSTON, MA - "Go figure out the best way to improve patient safety and medical care at our hospital," was the charge that CEO of...
God Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Miracle in the Morning
HEAVENS ABOVE - According to Gomerblog cherubs close to the All Powerful, God has informed nursing staff at Garden of Eden Medical Center to make...
Anesthesiologist Proposes Use of Metric Time
HOUSTON, TX - Dr. Alan Payne, an anesthesiologist and physicist, proposes the use of metric time for determining surgical time duration.
“How many times at...
Ophthalmology Resident Quits Due to Ommetaphobia
MIAMI, FL - Dr. Henry Flickheimer, an ophthalmology resident, has struggled and coped with a certain intense fear for years. Surprisingly, that fear is the fear...
Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’
CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...