American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...
WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon
NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Pays $400,000 to Prevent Son From Matching Into Ophthalmology Residency
BOSTON, MA - Inspired by the recent college admissions cheating scandal, local Orthopaedic Surgeon Brock Hammersley took matters into his own hands when his...
General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today
TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled...
Boxing Day Returns: Admitting Services May Return 1 Unwanted Holiday Admission to the ER
HAMILTON, ONTARIO, CANADA - McMaster University has been at the forefront of Canadian Medical research progress (pronounced pro-gress north of the border) since shortly after...
New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds
CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician. She has been desperately trying to...
Doctor Reverse Actually the Discoverer of Reverse-Trendelenburg
MUNICH, GERMANY – Agatha Reverse is a well-known surgeon from Germany around 1870, who removed numerous gallbladders. To help her with surgical exposure she decided to place the...
Mother Devastated to Learn Son’s Femur is Broken and Fractured
WILLMAR, MN - Local mother, self-proclaimed Domestic Goddess, PTA President, and Essential Oils saleswoman Hilda Larson was absolutely crushed this past week when she...
SpaceX Announces Self-Retrieving Video Capsule Endoscopy
Elon Musk’s rocket company SpaceX announced Tuesday that it will be entering the medical device market with the roll out of the Falciform 9,...
Medical Students Secures “Honors” In Surgery After Successfully Naming Last 5 Songs From Pandora
DURHAM, NC - In what has been declared the finest academic performance seen in a generation, local medical student Brian Mills successfully named the title...