Surgery

Rosetta Stone Unlocks Mystery of Ophtho Notes

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LONDON, ENGLAND - In breaking news, archeologists have uncovered a missing piece to the Rosetta Stone, the ancient stone slab on which the Memphis decree...
eyeball retina

Medical Student Accidentally Identifies Retina on Fundoscopic Exam

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BOSTON, MA – Third-year medical student Iris Conners did the one thing that every medical trainee, and frankly every human in any field of...
piggy bank, gruesome

Piggy Bank in OR After Gruesome Attack with Hammer

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ATLANTA, GA - Trauma surgeons at Grady Memorial Hospital, one of Georgia's Level I Trauma Centers, are working around the clock to piece back...

Trojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves

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In an effort to diversify their market share, Trojan has unveiled a new line of “Bare Skin” surgical gloves aimed to maximize the surgeon’s...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Neck Fusion Gone Awry: Carried Away, Neurosurgeon Fuses All 206 Bones

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NASHVILLE, TN - Admitting enthusiasm got the best of her, Vanderbilt neurosurgeon Dr. Elle Hardwire got carried away with an anterior cervical discectomy and...

Ortho Defeats Da Vinci in Good Ole Fashioned Arm-Wrestling Match

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DURHAM, NC - An anticipated nail-biter that didn't end up going the distance, orthopedic surgeon Barrett Stonewall easily defeated the Da Vinci Surgical Robot...

That’s So Mean: Hospital Kitchen Sends NPO Patients Empty Tray

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North Portland, Oregon—The defiance of an NPO order, whether intentional or accidental, may have profound consequences, including worsening of symptoms and delay of surgical...
surgeon shoes

Patient Alarmed After Noticing Surgeon’s Shoelace Untied

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MARIETTA, GA - Multiple sources are confirming that local patient Harry Dander is growing increasingly concerned for his upcoming surgery after noticing that his...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...
upset patients

Sticks & Stones Didn’t Break Area Man’s Bones, Words Did

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Local Ralph Merriam is one lucky man.  Thanks to his medical team and over six hours of emergent surgery, Merriam is...