Surgery

Virginia Designates Bovie Electrocautery as an Assault Scalpel, Subsequently Bans it

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Richmond, VA – In the brief time since the calendar turned to 2020, the Virginia House and Senate have passed several bills aimed at limiting...

I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight...

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In medical school, I found this ugly, indurated, black mass along my right lower quadrant, towards my inguinal crease.  It wasn’t tender per se,...

Trump Tweets About Several Medical Specialties

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Trump is at it again.  This time it involves tweets regarding several medical specialties. Enjoy! ...

Anesthesiologist in Flap Room Refutes Reports of Peegasms, Calls for Multicenter Prospective Trial

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Dr. I. Kaffeinate is prominent Canadian anesthesiologist who is raising doubts about a recently reported article1 in which urologists were warning women of a...

Comey Urologist Confirms: He is a Leaker

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last week former FBI director James Comey made a startling disclosure: he had given parts of his opening statement before the...

VA Success Story: Vietnam Vet Has Bamboo Shiv Removed

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PHOENIX, AZ - Local Vietnam vet, Chuck Rhodes, was finally approved to see a doctor about getting a bamboo shiv removed that impaled his right...

Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table

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DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table...
urine input

Yikes: Patient Reports 1.5 Liters of Urine Input

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Completely catching his inpatient team off guard, a hospitalized patient informed his urologist this morning not only had his urine...

Birds Wondering Why Med Student Leaving for Work So Early

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FRONT YARD – When third-year medical student Krista Adams left for the hospital at 4:15 AM this morning, multiple birds in the area were...
Da Vinci, Bowser, Super Mario Bros

Da Vinci on Quest to Rescue Princess Toadstool

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WORLD 2-4, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - We have just received word that the Da Vinci Surgical Robot has embarked on a quest to save Princess...