Surgery

Concerned Podiatrist Probes Foot Ulcer Down to Aorta

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Initially concerned a diabetic foot ulcer might in fact be osteomyelitis, podiatrist Alice Short not only successfully probed the ulcer...
surgeon shoes

Patient Alarmed After Noticing Surgeon’s Shoelace Untied

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MARIETTA, GA - Multiple sources are confirming that local patient Harry Dander is growing increasingly concerned for his upcoming surgery after noticing that his...
orthopedic surgeon

Bones: An Orthopedic Surgeon’s Perspective

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By Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr. Thomas Partinger Bones.  I like bones.  I like big bones.  I like small bones.  I like bones.  I like long bones....
Pikachu, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Pikachu Spotted in Man’s Colon

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ENDOSCOPY SUITE 9 - On the heels of Pokémon Go's release on July 6 that signaled a comeback for the 1990s Nintendo franchise, GomerBlog is...
toliet flushing medications

So You Dropped Your Pager into the Toilet, What to Do Next

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You're on-call, but before sh*t hits the fan, you hit the toilet.  Just when you're pulling up your pants or fixing your belt, you...
male patient asking for urinal

Healthy Ambulating Male Continues to Ask Nurses for Urinal

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ATTLEBORO, MA - A very upset Ronald Stern is suing Sturdy Memorial Hospital for the pain and suffering he experienced when his nurse asked...
new medical interns

Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%

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BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...

Slow-A** Da Vinci Holds Up Lines, Taking Forever to Vote

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Da Vinci Surgical Robot is proudly exercising his right to vote this Election Day, but here's the problem: he's slow...
dermabond surgical glue

Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product

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Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices.  In response,...