Surgery

Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University.  "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours...
vital sign monitor

Brand New Vital Sign Added to Monitors and Electronic Medical Records

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SAN DIEGO, CA – New governmental regulations passed last week by Congress have created another vital sign, making this the 6th core vital sign,...
reverse trendelenburg

Doctor Reverse Actually the Discoverer of Reverse-Trendelenburg

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MUNICH, GERMANY – Agatha Reverse is a well-known surgeon from Germany around 1870, who removed numerous gallbladders.  To help her with surgical exposure she decided to place the...

Unprepared Patient Cramming for Tomorrow’s Rectal Exam

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AUBURN, AL - Forever the procrastinator, nervous and unprepared patient Johnny Sanders has started cramming for tomorrow's rectal exam in the hopes he can...
eye chart, visual acuity

Letter ‘T’ to Take Top Spot on Snellen, ‘E’ Demoted

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BOSTON, MA - In shocking news delivered earlier today, the incumbent letter E has been demoted from its top spot on the Snellen eye chart and...
upset surgeon

Surgeon Furious That X-Ray Tech Not Available 2.3 Seconds After Demanding X-Ray in OR

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HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Henry Witherspoon, a prominent general surgeon in the Houston area, began foaming at the mouth in anger, after an X-ray machine was...

Doctors Unanimously Decide to “Stay in Their Lane” as NRA Tweet Advised

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WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of Doctors who read the National Rifle Association (NRA) tweet to “stay in their lane” suddenly realized that the NRA...
ophthalmologist

Ophthalmologist Accidentally Agrees to See Inpatient Consult

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Richard Thompson, a local ophthalmologist, was appalled to discover that he had accidentally agreed to see a patient currently admitted to local Mercy Hospital...

Anesthesiologist General Requests Senate Democrats Continue to Perform all Presidential Blocks

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move sure to frustrate the President, Anesthesiologist General Dr. Jerome Adams has decided that he will not perform any...

Orthopaedic Surgeon Pays $400,000 to Prevent Son From Matching Into Ophthalmology Residency

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BOSTON, MA - Inspired by the recent college admissions cheating scandal, local Orthopaedic Surgeon Brock Hammersley took matters into his own hands when his...