Surgery

santa big

Santa Sporting Trim New Figure After Successful Gastric Bypass

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NORTH POLE, CANADA - Reports are coming in from all over the North Pole that Santa Claus is sporting a svelte new physique this Christmas...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

How to Ace Your Ortho Residency Interview

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1. Know your favorite bone. Nothing looks worse for an applicant than showing up for the interview and not knowing what your favorite bone....
pain in elbow

A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale

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The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management.  A new scale has been devolved...
hospital holiday party

Work Holiday Party to Celebrate Another Year of Resignations, Broken Promises

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FREEHOLD, NJ - CEO John Watkins of Freehold Medical Center is set to throw another epic end-of-the-year holiday party for his hospital and healthcare employees...

Genuine ‘Slipped and Fell’ Rectal Foreign Body Victim Stuns Experts

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RICHMOND, VA - In what is thought to be a world's first, witnesses have confirmed that a young Virginian man genuinely slipped and fell...
Brie Hammersley complete blood loss

Op Note: ‘Successful Despite Complete Blood Loss’

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - With the exception of complete and total blood loss, today's routine total left hip arthroplasty was a resounding success devoid of...
operating room

Which Surgical Specialty Should You Choose?

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It’s that time of year: residency application season!  You’ve decided that performing procedures, malignant personalities, and years of grueling training are for you but...
powerball

Hoping for a Powerball Miracle, Healthcare Providers Across America Drafting Resignation Letters

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EVERY CLINICAL SETTING, UNITED STATES - Healthcare providers across the United States are hoping it’s an early holiday present in 2016, as every single one...
rectal exam glove

Rectal Exam Nuisance: New Product Changing the Way We Look at Cheeks

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MIAMI, FL - A new product by Telameto Corporation has emergency practitioners cheering for joy.  The inefficiencies of the rectal exam will quickly be...