CPR Guidelines Made Even Simpler
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was replaced by only chest compression in 2008 after a slow de-emphasis on replacement breathing. This made CPR simple and easy to remember,...
Breaking Bricks No More: Mario Shatters All 27 Bones in Left Hand
WORLD 3-2 - It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt...
Soccer Mom Heals Femur Fracture with Herbs, Essential Oils
ORANGE, CA - Mrs. Stephanie Holmestown experienced what all parents fear while watching their kids play sports; her eleven-year-old son Andrew collided with another player...
Ophthalmologists Report Hindsight More Like 20/80
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Top ophthalmologists announced this week that hindsight, long thought to be 20/20, is actually much closer to 20/80. “This is...
Orthopedic Surgeon General Declares Today “National Bone Day”
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Orthopedic Surgeon General of the United States Dr. Brock Hammersley has announced he will declare today a national holiday honoring all...
Warriors Fans Suffering Chest Pain Radiating from Steph Curry’s Sprained Knee
OAKLAND, CA - Sharpshooter Stephen Curry has officially suffered a sprained right MCL, which is so painful that it is in fact radiating to the...
Thousands Dead in Battle Between Ophthalmologists and Optometrists
WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of eye care providers were found dead in the streets Monday morning after a vicious battle erupted between ophthalmologists and...
ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode
PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
Mid-Case and Looking for a Workout, Orthopod Asks Scrub Tech for Dumbbells
LOS ANGELES, CA - Realizing that this little-old lady's hip replacement wasn't giving him the adequate workout and reps he needed, orthopedic surgeon Brock...
Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled.
“Are you sure?”...