Surgery

Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University.  "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours...
cerumen impaction earwax

Breaking: New Earwax Impaction Guidelines Released, World Rejoices

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ALEXANDRIA, VA - YES!!!!  The American-Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery has dropped some serious knowledge on the world with their newly-published and much-anticipated updated...

Medical Records Censor Crucial at Removing Admission and Discharge Summaries for Transfer

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MUDVILLE, TN - Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, Good Samaritan’s Vice President for Administrative Affairs, speaking on condition of having his full name printed at...
anesthesiologists tone

Rectal Tone of Anesthesiologists Varies with Patients’ Oxygen Saturation

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BERLIN, GERMANY - A new and controversial study out of the esteemed Higginstein Community Surgery Center describes a curious phenomenon regarding rectal tone of anesthesiologists...
surgery not indicated

Surgeons Declare “Surgery Not Indicated in 2017”

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CHICAGO, IL - Close the operating rooms!  Surgeons worldwide have declared that "surgery is not indicated in 2017," instead calling this upcoming year "the...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

Breaking: Winning Word at Ortho Spelling Bee is “WBAT”

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TIBIAL PLAINS, PA - Defeating over 300 of the country’s best-spelling orthopods, Jimmy “Jackhammer” Jameson has claimed the coveted title of American Ortho Spelling Bee...
avascular necrosis

Avascular Necrosis Renamed to Slow Chronic Unfixable Bone Atrophy (SCUBA) to Stop Unnecessary STAT...

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BONE ISLAND, FL -  A condition long known by a scary-sounding name has been renamed at the American Society for Surgeons of the Hand...
hospital scrub sizes

Color-Coded Scrub Ties Lead to Epidemic of ‘Scrub Shaming’

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NASHVILLE, TN - Neurologist Dr. Allison Terazzoni glides through the hallways of Vanderbilt invisibly, staring at the ground, praying to go unnoticed, her white...

Surgeon Passes Out Following OR Fentanyl Exposure, Remainder of OR Staff Unaffected

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BOSTON, MA – 94 minutes into what was a routine total knee arthroplasty, Dr. James Nairbear suddenly felt lightheaded and fell backwards landing in...

Scooter Harvest Ride for Organ Donation

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NASHVILLE, TN--The United Network for Organ Sharing announced today plans to unroll 500 dockless electric scooters for ride sharing purposes in major metropolitan cities...