Surgery

Breaking News: Attending Surgeon Follows Management Advice of Attractive New Nurse

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NEW YORK, NY - Earlier this morning on rounds at St. Daniel’s Hospital in New York City, surgical residents and veteran nurses alike were astounded by...
orthopedic surgeon ripping phone book bieps

Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts.  "Thor don't understand!"  You...

Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge

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As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologist Blames Surgery for Patient’s Difficult Airway

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BILOXI, MS - In what is believed to be the first time anywhere, local anesthesiologist Arick Lunchbocks blamed general surgeon Bessie Jandle for the...
apple pager

What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager

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CUPERTINO, CA - Lost amidst the excitement of the new Apple Watch has been the new Apple Pager, which is also due to hit...
Maria Sharapova shriek

Sharapova Returns with Shriek So Strong Her Own Ear Bleeds

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FLUSHING, NY - In the fourth game of the third set, Sharapova unleashed a powerful forehand winner with a shriek so piercing it caused...
angry patient

Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...

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Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...
wallet aorta

Vascular Converts Infected BKA Into Above-the-Nipples Amputation

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PORTLAND, OR - As a means of source control for a patient in severe sepsis, a Portland-based vascular surgeon has played it safe by...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

COVID-19 Update: Orthopods Suspend Bro Hugs for 60 Days

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NEW YORK, NY - First, Italy went on lockdown. Then March Madness was canceled; the NBA and NHL suspended their seasons. Now...
loser health care job

This Just In: Your Health Care Job Sucks

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Hey YOU, that’s right, I’m talking to you. Gomerblog just wanted to take some time to let you know that your job sucks. Really....