USPSTF Recommends Against Getting Kicked in the Balls Repeatedly
BOSTON, MA - In an update of their 2006 recommendation statement, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) now recommends against getting kicked, smacked,...
Patient Undergoes Successful Prophylactic Cardiac Resection
NASHVILLE, TN - A patient has undergone successful prophylactic cardiac resection at Nashville Medical Center today in a “very proactive effort" to mitigate any...
Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry
ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University. "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours...
Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
Nostalgic Pharmacists Yearn for Good ‘Ole Days of Illegible Doctors’ Prescriptions
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Though pharmacists appreciate the progress that has been made with electronic health records (EHR) and e-prescriptions over the past two...
Breaking News: THE PATIENT POOPED!!!
DURHAM, NC - HE POOPED!!!! OMG!!! Thank heavens! GomerBlog can’t believe the news we’re about to deliver! But he did it! HE DID IT!!!...
Medicine Consult on the Fence About Restarting HCTZ
ATLANTA, GA - The tension is mounting on the surgical ward at Emory University Hospital as Dr. Christopher Roberts of Hospital Medicine remains on...
Medicare Institutes New ‘Gratuity-Based’ Compensation Plan
WASHINGTON, DC - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) began the rollout of their revolutionary new compensation model this week, in which physicians...
Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken
SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
Study: Hopscotch Leading Cause of Hip Fractures in Elderly
BOSTON, MA - A byproduct of the children's game that has become an inexplicable epidemic among our baby boomers, a study newly published in...