Surgery

Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System

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NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...

Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship Teaches Students How to Match Cufflinks with Pocket Watches

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NEW YORK — Students enrolled in the Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship were surprised when they were instructed via electronic mail not to report to...
routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Ophthalmologist Dresses Up as Doctor for Halloween

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Sporting a stethoscope and a white coat, 58-year-old ophthalmologist Donald Myers  decided to dress up as a real life doctor for...

‘Drama Surgery’ Officially Listed as New Specialty by ACGME

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This fall, fourth-year medical students everywhere are able to apply to a ‘woke’ new specialty: Drama Surgery. “Due to the increasing number of millennials interested...
iv fluid

Voluven to Make Comeback as an Axillary Roll

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NEWCASTLE, AUSTRALIA - The end seemed nigh for Voluven.  The volume expander has been on the ropes after large clinical trials demonstrated increased risks...

Interventional Radiology Performs CT-Guided Chart Biopsy

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RICHMOND, VA - History was made yesterday at Richmond Medical Center, as an interventional radiology (IR) team led by Dr. John Johnston-Johnson performed the...

Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease

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NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases."  Unfortunately,...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

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COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...

A Sit Down with The World’s Most Insecure Suture

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CHICAGO, IL - For the first time ever insecure suture gives us her story. We have all been in the OR and it happens. The...