Surgery

discharge summary

ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...

Hospital Rat Mistaken for Pokémon

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CHICAGO, IL - Northwestern University Hospital had a false alarm Saturday, where several employees mistook a hospital rat for a rare Pokémon.  "I was...
Blood gravy content concentration level

CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving

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ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding...

Rosetta Stone Unlocks Mystery of Ophtho Notes

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LONDON, ENGLAND - In breaking news, archeologists have uncovered a missing piece to the Rosetta Stone, the ancient stone slab on which the Memphis decree...

Intern Becomes Sentient, Realizes No One Cares About His Med School War Stories

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SAN DIEGO, CA – In a shocking display of comprehension, local General Surgery intern Gunner Retractorhölder, realized that his now 15 minute long story...
daughter to hospital day

Hospital’s ‘Take Your Daughter to Work’ Day Not Such a Good Idea

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Hepatobiliary surgeon Dr. Jeanne Devereux was disappointed.  "How hard could it be?!" she fumed.  "Just hold the damn retractor and...
powerpoint presentations

Boring PowerPoints New Leading Cause of Death Among Health Care Practitioners

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ATLANTA, GA - A new study published in the latest issue of the Journal of Small Font & Uninteresting Topics (JSFUT) revealed that sinfully...
nurse eye roll

Breaking News: Nurse’s Eyes Get Stuck After Aggressive Eye Roll

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ORLANDO, FL - Beth Stanfield, a middle-aged nurse, was transported to the ophthalmology department earlier today when her eyes got stuck in an aggressive...
airplane

Pilot Makes Passengers NPO After Midnight for Flight Tomorrow

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to minimize the risk of aspiration during tomorrow's three-hour East coast flight from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to Boston's Logan...
nosebleeds epistaxis

Rangers Fan with Seats in Nosebleeds Exsanguinates from Epistaxis

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NEW YORK, NY - Gomerblog is sad to report that 68-year-old lifelong Rangers fan, Michael Richter, unfortunately passed away midway through the third period of...