Surgery

medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Medicine Consulted by Orthopedics on Medicine Patient

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OMAHA, NE - Earlier today on an inpatient medical/surgical floor at Nebraska Medical Center, a confusing series of events in the care of hospitalized...
hedge, hedging

Radiologist Admits He Loves Hedges

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ATLANTA, GA - Area radiologist Michael Feuerstein admits that he loves hedges beyond comprehension.  "I love my wife, I love my kids, and I...
patient cocoon

Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled. “Are you sure?”...
bronies facebook

Medical Referral Placed to Bronies Facebook Group for Second Opinion

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HOUSTON, TX - 48-year-old Mark Wilkersten has been battling with bilateral knee pain for several years now.  After seeing his primary care doctor for...
Medicare gratuity plan

Medicare Institutes New ‘Gratuity-Based’ Compensation Plan

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) began the rollout of their revolutionary new compensation model this week, in which physicians...
eye chart, visual acuity

Letter ‘T’ to Take Top Spot on Snellen, ‘E’ Demoted

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BOSTON, MA - In shocking news delivered earlier today, the incumbent letter E has been demoted from its top spot on the Snellen eye chart and...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines

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NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU.  Thankfully he...

Conversation Starters While Scrubbing For Surgery with Your Attending

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Scrubbing before surgery can be an awkward time for residents who have to spend up to 5 uninterrupted minutes standing next to an attending...
MRI scanner claustrophobia

New General Electric MRI Scanner 20 Times Louder Than Ever

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SCHENECTADY, NY - General Electric (GE) plans to revolutionize the course of magnetic resonance (MR) history once more when later this month they introduce...
hug, hugging

Struggling Intern Asking for ‘Just One Hug’

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BOSTON, MA - "Just one hug" is all intern Philip Geary is asking, if not BEGGING, from his fellow interns, residents, students, nurses, attendings,...