Surgery

surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Surgery Residents Bring Other MDs to Work for a Day

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5:00 am: Arrive at hospital. Peds and Psych are borderline comatose still. Medicine seems confused to find that the hospital lights work this early in...
Salivation Army

Salivation Army Collects Record Number of Oral Secretions for Those in Need

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LONDON, ENGLAND - The Salivation Army, an organization renowned all the world over for its charitable efforts, has announced that a recent donation drive ending...
angry patient

Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...

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Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...
wallet aorta

Vascular Converts Infected BKA Into Above-the-Nipples Amputation

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PORTLAND, OR - As a means of source control for a patient in severe sepsis, a Portland-based vascular surgeon has played it safe by...

Brian Williams: I Performed the First Heart Transplant

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NBC - Reports have recently surfaced that NBC news anchor, Brian Williams, claimed to have performed the first heart transplant in 1967.  In a...
politicians

Numerous Elected Officials Suffering From Bizarre Triad of Abdominal Jaundice, Gelatinous Vertebrae, & Microorchidism‏

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WASHINGTON, DC - Capitol doctors, thanks to information-sharing initiatives promoted by the Affordable Care Act, have uncovered what they describe as a “devastating” illness...
stone & chisel

New Stone & Chisel Medical Record a Huge Pain in the Ass

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LOS ANGELES, CA - A new stone & chisel medical record system implemented by hospital administrators at Cedar-Sinai Medical Center earlier this week is...

New More Remotely Controlled da Vinci Robot Allows Surgeons to Operate Even While Sitting...

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As medical providers, we are all aware that the current trend in medicine is for patients to have 24/7 access from anywhere to any...
gout

Area Emergency Physician Successfully Manages Gout Without Consultation

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Confetti is raining down from the ceilings as emergency medicine physician Deion Gnosis is being congratulated for diagnosing and...

Trojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves

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In an effort to diversify their market share, Trojan has unveiled a new line of “Bare Skin” surgical gloves aimed to maximize the surgeon’s...