Surgery

Crooked Hillary Actually Suffering From Severe Scoliosis

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CHAPPAQUA, NY - Former Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton’s Spine Surgeon today revealed that President Donald Trump’s calling her “Crooked Hillary” on the campaign...
wallet aorta

Surgeon a Bit More Cavalier Now That ‘They’ve Cured Hep C’

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MOUNT SINAI, NY - No one was more excited about the release of Harvoni, a potentially curative medication for the hepatitis C virus, than Dr....
Tom Brady Super Bowl LII amputate hand

Sportsmanship FTW! Eagles’ Doc Offers to Amputate Brady’s Injured Hand Before Super Bowl LII

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a true show of sportsmanship towards the New England Patriots ahead of their February 4 date at Super Bowl LII...

‘I Don’t Need Reading Glasses’ Says Patient Holding Everything at Arm’s Length

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KNOXVILLE, TN – Holding a magazine as far as his arm will allow, local man Harold Chou confidently announced at a local eye clinic...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...

Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO

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Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
surgeon yelling

Surgeon Caught Screaming at Nobody, Claims “Practice”

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BOISE, ID - In a bizarre incident last Thursday, Dr. Nikki Ivanovich, a general surgeon at St. Luke’s Hospital was caught by staff screaming...
fires

OR Fires Increase as New Regulations are Enforced

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Surgical suites across the nation are ablaze this week as rumors of a newly-formed Joint Commission task force has all parties involved sweating in...
clinic organ samples

Clinic Handing Out Free Organ Samples

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OXFORD, MS - Remember the good old days when you could get free drug samples from your doctor?  Well, clinicians at Mississippi Health do. ...
hungry patient

Patient “Starving to Death” After 1 Hour NPO, Actually Starves to Death Another Hour...

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NASHVILLE, TN - At midnight, patient Eric Stephens was made "NPO after midnight."  After one hour, patient complained to his nurses and physicians, stating...