Surgery

wallet aorta

Vascular Converts Infected BKA Into Above-the-Nipples Amputation

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PORTLAND, OR - As a means of source control for a patient in severe sepsis, a Portland-based vascular surgeon has played it safe by...
anesthesiologist table height

Anesthesia Resident Falls Asleep During Case, Reprimanded For Missing Lunch Break

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CHICAGO, IL - Chaos ensued at a Chicago hospital last week when an anesthesia resident was missing from the surgical lounge.  Around 10 a.m.,...
Turlaudidryl, BDT

Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...
father's day for physician or nurse

Last Minute Father’s Day Gifts for Your Physician/Nurse Dad

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Did you forget to buy your doctor or nurse dad a gift for Father’s Day?  Don’t worry, GomerBlog has you covered.  Here’s a last...
incentive spirometer incentivized spirometer

New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath

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ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per...
aorta

Skilled Phlebotomist Draws Blood from Aorta

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NASHVILLE, TN - Warned ahead of time that the patient was a notoriously difficult stick, madly-skilled phlebotomist Mattie Stevenson pulled off a neat little...

So Much for Denuclearization: Korean Leaders Pledge “Enucleation,” Ophtho Consulted

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KOREAN PENINSULA - Though the goal for both North Korean leader Kim Jung Un and South Korean leader Moon Jae-in was for peace and...
donut hole ACA

Affordable Care Act to Close Donut Hole with Delicious Strawberry Filling

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WASHINGTON, DC - For years, the Medicare Part D coverage gap or “donut hole” had always left senior citizens with a less-than-sweet taste in...

Differentiating ACLs from ACLS: A Primer

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GLOBO GYM, MA - Like most orthopods, I know a lot about ACLs. Unfortunately, I’m also required to take ACLS biennially. When my schedule...
surgeon shoes

Patient Alarmed After Noticing Surgeon’s Shoelace Untied

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MARIETTA, GA - Multiple sources are confirming that local patient Harry Dander is growing increasingly concerned for his upcoming surgery after noticing that his...