Surgery

lawyer up

Revised ASA Classification Tells You When to Lawyer Up

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  An expert panel comprised of ambulance chasing, blood sucking lawyers and that one snotty dude from med school published a revised ASA physical status...
Ancef pump

Orthopod Caught Auscultating Ancef Pump

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ATLANTA, GA - "Shhh," orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley told befuddled onlookers as he used a stethoscope (or, as he puts it, "a mini jump rope") to...

The American Medical Association’s New Guidelines for Treating Millennials

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Though medicine continues to advance with new technologies and innovations, one invaluable tool has withstood the test of time: the medical interview. The medical...

Orthopedic Library is Actually just a Gym

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A detailed undercover investigation has discovered that the orthopedic library is merely just a gym in disguise. The signs should have been obvious...
upset patients

Sticks & Stones Didn’t Break Area Man’s Bones, Words Did

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Local Ralph Merriam is one lucky man.  Thanks to his medical team and over six hours of emergent surgery, Merriam is...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Cardboard Cutout of Medical Student Receives Honors in Surgery

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General Surgery is widely considered to be one of the most difficulty rotations in medical school. Many medical students strive to earn the coveted...

Surgeon Passes Out Following OR Fentanyl Exposure, Remainder of OR Staff Unaffected

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BOSTON, MA – 94 minutes into what was a routine total knee arthroplasty, Dr. James Nairbear suddenly felt lightheaded and fell backwards landing in...
Tom Price

Tom Price to Stabilize ACA Marketplaces with Intramedullary Nails

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of Health & Human Services and former orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has suggested that the best way to stabilize Affordable...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...

Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum

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LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with...