Surgery

General Surgery Intern Contaminates Sterile Field with Tears

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SAN DIEGO, CA - In what is believed to be a first-time occurrence, general surgery intern Crabby Boots cried during an open hernia repair...
pooh

Winnie Can’t Pooh, Needs Surgical Intervention

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SUSSEX, ENGLAND - In breaking news, Winnie the Pooh can't pooh and is in fact obstructed, necessitating surgical intervention.  "Oh, D-D-Dear!" cried Piglet.  "I...
hipaa patient privacy

HIPAA Loosens Up, Just Say Whatever, Whenever, Wherever the Hell You Want

5
WASHINGTON, DC - Doctors, nurses, and other health care practitioners nationwide are breathing a sigh of relief this morning as government officials have loosened...
orthopedic

New Orthopedic Surgery Simulator a Warehouse Filled with Tree Stumps, Blunt Ax

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PORTLAND, OR - Oregon Health and Sciences University recently unveiled their innovative new orthopedic surgery simulator, which consists of a large industrial warehouse filled...
surgeons operating

Urologist Cannot Find Ureter, Consults OB/GYN

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Dr. Hans Veener, the chief of urology, could not identify the right ureter during a recent surgery at Marion General Hospital.  Shockingly, rather than...

Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship Teaches Students How to Match Cufflinks with Pocket Watches

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NEW YORK — Students enrolled in the Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship were surprised when they were instructed via electronic mail not to report to...

Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...

Game of Thrones Pain Scale

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Are you like me and tired of giving the same old boring explanation of the 0-10 pain scale?  Spice it up by using the...
pathologist

Surgeon Sends Lunch for Frozen Section

22
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After visiting the hospital's cafeteria, Dr. Jason Greene seated himself in the surgery staff lounge to enjoy his lunch.  But a...

Game of Thrones HMOs Going Bankrupt

2
KINGS LANDING, WESTERNOS - Following a three-year onslaught of unexpected increases in operating cost, all five major health maintenance organization (HMO) companies serving the Seven...