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Confused Michael Flynn Requests Immunity from CDC, Immunizations from Senate Intelligence Committee

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Several health care and congressional sources have informed Gomerblog that they believe former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is very confused and perhaps altered, as he keeps requesting immunity from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and immunizations from the Senate Intelligence Committee.  Ummm, say what?

“We find this a very unusual request,” Anne Schuchat, Acting Director of the CDC, informed Gomerblog.  Flynn’s criminal defense attorney contacted her seeking immunity, specifically from federal prosecution.  “I told his lawyer we don’t provide the kind of immunity you’re looking for, and we certainly don’t have a vaccine for that.  He didn’t seem very happy.”

Representative Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) had a similar response when Flynn’s attorney approached him asking for immunizations.  “Are you sure you don’t mean immunity?” asked Schiff, trying to clarify.  Flynn resigned in February over potentially illegal communication with a Russian ambassador.   “But Flynn’s lawyer said no.  Flynn is concerned he could be attacked by hepatitis B, C, the measles, maybe even diphtheria or pertussis.”  Schiff couldn’t figure out why Flynn just didn’t take care of those things at the CDC.

The Senate Intelligence Committee has declined to offer Flynn both immunity and immunizations.  According to Schiff, the House Intelligence Committee hasn’t made an official stance but notes the absence of any vaccines lying around Capitol Hill, so they couldn’t give him any immunizations if they tried.

With Flynn using the terms immunity and immunization interchangeably, other congressional leaders wonder if he really has anything of value to say while health care leaders wonder if he needs a CT of the head or LP instead.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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