Class of 2007 medical school reunion

At Medical School Reunion, Class of 2007 Celebrates 10 Years of Debt, Utter Exhaustion

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BOSTON, MAThis Gomerblog author was on-hand for his Boston University School of Medicine Class of 2007 reunion last night, and it was nothing short of a pure joy to reunite with old friends and peers and reminisce in what was undoubtedly one of the most memorable celebrations of medical debt and utter exhaustion.  The gathering looked back on the “decade of disappointment” since med school graduation.

Class of 2007 medical school reunion
“The med school years were great. It’s the years after that…”

“Can you believe it?!  Can you believe it?!  It’s been ten years since we embarked on the worst emotional roller coaster of our lives!  You have so many gray hair now!  Wow, this totally hasn’t been worth it,” neurointensivist Dr. Brandon Barton (Class of 2007) remarked to urologist Dr. Jay Bhatt (Class of 2007) as he grabbed him by the shoulders.  Both insisted they were crying tears of joy, though the sobs were highly indicative of gut-wrenching pain and sadness.

“There was nothing better than running into someone I hadn’t seen in a decade and saying, ‘Holy moly, you look totally checked out and at wit’s end!  Me too!  So good to see you,” admitted infectious diseases attending Leanne Burton (Class of 2007), reassured she wasn’t the only one filled with self-loathing due to a toxic health care climate.  “It’s so good to look everyone in the eyes and see the fire has burned out a long, long time ago.”

Though the night was characterized mostly by the use of alcohol to suppress their true inner feelings of life as a modern-day physician, one highlight from last night’s festivities was the class photo in which 17 members of the Class of 2007 faked through their smiles as they all realized their collective loans bordered somewhere in the 3-to-4 million dollar range.  Instead of enthusiastically chanting “CHEESE!”, the Class of 2007 opted for a low-energy grumble (“Mmmeeehhh”) that couldn’t be mistaken for anything else but regret mixed in with a little vomit.  It was followed by an unprompted synchronized 90-second yawn by everyone in the photo.

The Class of 2007 searched vigorously for any signs of a hopeful future but came up empty handed.  Many, in fact, stopped searching years ago.

“Do you remember in medical school when we were excited to become doctors and thought we could actually make a difference?” plastic surgeon Jason Jones (Class of 2007) asked family medicine physician Allison Porter (Class of 2007) before they started laughing hysterically.  “I’m so proud that has been beaten out of all of us.  Man, we were so clueless.  What were we thinking?!”

The Class of 2007 reunion came to a screeching halt at midnight when the Joint Commission and hospital administration showed up and slapped all the drinks out of everyone’s hands.

Dr. 99 is a Boston University School of Medicine alumnus.  He is damn proud of it and damn proud of his classmates too.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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