EHR cursing

Report: 55% of Time Spent in Front of EHRs, Other 45% Spent Cursing at EHRs

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BOSTON, MA – In a report that is both shocking yet not shocking at all, a Harvard University report states that health care professionals spent 55% of their work day in front of an electronic health record (EHR), while the other 45% of their time is spent rigorously cursing out their EHRs.

Click to learn about the different EHRs you can yell at

“Ugh, I hate typing notes,” lamented primary care physician and author of the report Bonnie Townsend, who is ahead of pace in her quest to acquire carpal tunnel syndrome.  Seconds later, her computer screen freezes and her progress note that she had been working on for 20 minutes is lost forever to the ether.  “M**THERF**KER!!!! DAMN EHR!!!!  DAMN YOU!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!  I HATE YOUUUUU!!!!!”

The face-to-face visit is on the verge of extinction, replaced by the more economical face-to-screen “encounter” with subsequent cursing.  Townsend hasn’t had a face-to-face meeting with a patient in over 2 years.  However, she is happy to report that she’s changed her password at least 4,300,000 times over that same time frame and also really enjoyed her time filling out prior authorization forms too.

“Between the time I have to dedicate to clicking, double clicking, quadruple clicking, documenting notes, figuring out ICD-10, billing and, of course, verbally abusing my EHR, there really isn’t any time for direct patient care, so that’s what’s gotta go,” admitted Townsend, who looks forward to the development of crippling migraines associated with hours upon hours of screen staring, way more than was ever intended for human beings.  “Remember patient care?  I don’t.”

“I’m sorry I have to cut this interview short,” Townsend apologized to Gomerblog, escorting us out of her office for our own safety.  “I can’t seem to figure out my log in and password and I really need to dedicate a good 15 minutes to letting my computer really f**king have it.  You must understand, yes?”


  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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