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KEARNEY, NE – In yet another initiative to safeguard patient information and enhance HIPAA compliance, Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) enacted a new policy requiring providers to change their EMR passwords every twenty minutes.

passwordHospital administrators Bill More and Bill Higher commented on the policy: “With the digital threat at all times high, it is our responsibility to take all reasonable steps to protect our records.  We realize that this policy may create a minor inconvenience in the daily workflow, but the benefits far outweigh the burden: not only will this new security measure shield our patients, but it will also protect us.  If anyone was ever to find out how much opioids and antibiotics we’re over-prescribing, we’ll be finished.  Seriously people, if Russian hackers get their hands on this stuff, DNC hacking will look like joke.”

To further enhance the digital lock-down, each new password must contain at least one symbols, one number, one capital letter, one lowercase letter, one medical emoji, one Chinese symbol, and one zodiac sign.  Same password cannot be used for any of the 5 different systems that the hospital is using for EMR, PACS, billing, coding, and email.

As a final precaution, each provider will be logged off after 2 seconds of inactivity.

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    Livin La Vida Locum MD chose the most rewarding of all medical specialties and became a hospitalist. Wanting to contribute even more to the medical community, he trialed his hand at clinical research, but quickly realized that peer reviewed articles, R2,, and Odds Ratios will never top the impact of thorough healthcare reporting. So he dedicated his life to delivering the finest, deepest and broadest medical news from around the country. He accomplishes this monumental task by accepting locum assignments all over the country; in towns, villages and “hospitals” you never heard of and will never visit. May all fans of medical satire benefit from his wandering.

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