Proton Pimp Proton Pimp

Adorned in a stylish white fur coat, ravishing purple silk suit and a dozen gold necklaces, I spend my nights lounging in luxury and delivering beautiful bursts of acidic commentary about those in the medical field who deserve it—which, let’s face it, is pretty much everybody. Some may be offended, but I simply can’t be stopped; that is, except by my mortal nemesis: the dreaded Proton Pimp Inhibitor. Until recently, that little purple shill very effectively blocked the release of my most acidic work. But no longer! In addition to my lavish lifestyle, I also enjoy reading romance novels, listening to hit songs by Toto on loop, and staring at my Betty White pin-up calendar.

ENT Docs Vote Unanimously to Drop the Nose, Will Only Treat Ear & Throat

ALEXANDRIA, VA—In a move that has left many speechless, the board of directors of ...

emergency physician

Admitting Physician Denied Entry into VIP Patient Room

NEW YORK, NY—Very important persons, so-called VIPs, get special treatment wherever they go, and ...

Vaping Company Denies New Breastmilk-Flavored E-Cigarette Targets Newborn

SEATTLE, WA—A Seattle-based vaping company has been forced into damage control amidst claims that ...

pregnancy

Obstetrics Department Announces Opening of New Geriatric Maternity Ward for Mothers Over 35

BOCA RATON, FL—The proliferation of new fertility treatments, including in-vitro fertilization, and the decision ...

transporting patient

Gomer To Be Discharged From Medical Floor Soon As ER Bed Opens Up

PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has ...

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