Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy
NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters. He asked her the usual morning questions that one would ask for a typical abdominal pain...
New Study Shows Father’s Breast Milk Improves Babies’ Intelligence over Mother’s Breast Milk
DENVER, CO – AstraZeneca recently announced that its new drug, Milkaman, was approved by the FDA for male breastfeeding. This novel drug causes pectoral muscle cells in men to produce breast milk.
Originally a failed drug for women, it...
Radiologist Recommends Against Clinical Correlation
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Radiologist Dr. Rachel Mondusa, while reading an abdominal CT scan, actually recommended against clinical correlation. A standard dictation line stated at the end of reports taught to all radiology residents in...
Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering
INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands. At 5:42 a.m. a STAT complete blood count (CBC) was ordered on a...
PlayStation 3 to Unveil ‘Colonoscopy’ Video Game
SAN MATEO, CA – PlayStation developers plan to release the highly anticipated Colonoscopy 2016 video game to the public soon, with 2,000 special orders already being sold. The excitement over this revolutionary colonoscopy game is...
“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined "Bieber fever." The fever, which has struck millions of teenagers...
Friday Afternoon Clinic Patient Surprisingly Sent to the Emergency Department
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The emergency department at Queen’s Hospital had a very rare event occur this Friday afternoon. 74-year-old Wilma Gooding, checked into the emergency room around 4:12 p.m. with a chief complaint of “needing...
Report: July The Worst Time of Year to Be Sick
BOSTON, MA – A recent study demonstrated that July, the busiest time of year for teaching hospitals, was also the worst time of the year to be sick. Medication errors and mortality rates skyrocket to over...
Anesthesiologist Calls for STAT Sudoku Help in OR 3
PHOENIX, AZ – St. Joe’s Outpatient Surgery Center’s anesthesiologist Dr. James Robinson was twenty-two minutes into performing anesthesia on a 31-year-old ASA 1 for a knee scope, when he suddenly needed help. “Right away...
“Rare Diseases” Give Jenny McCarthy Lifetime Achievement Award
LOS ANGELES, CA - Thursday night the 197,788th annual Rare Disease Awards - formally known as the Common Disease Awards - brought the house down at the Staples Center.
The usual celebrities graced the red carpet: SARS,...