Wednesday, August 12, 2020
septic colonized keyboard

Breaking: Rare Nurses Station Computer Has Working Keyboard & Working Mouse

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NASHVILLE, TN - In what is certainly the best medical feel-good story since the patient who asked only for Tylenol for pain back in 2015, a computer at the nurses station has...
Santa charting

Santa Gonna Be Up All Night Charting Children’s Visits

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NORTH POLE - Having successfully rounded on kids across the planet and delivering them gifts on Christmas Eve & Christmas Day, Santa Claus has finally returned to his office to begin his...
septic colonized keyboard

Saint Mary Hospital’s EMR Offers 2 New Discharge Disposition Options: Heaven or Hell

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BETHLEHEM, PA—Following the lead of religiously-affiliated hospitals around the country, St. Mary Hospital recently updated their electronic medical record/order entry system to include two additional discharge disposition options. Normally, when a patient leaves the...

WHO adds “Bless their Heart” as an ICD-10 diagnosis code

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New York, NY- After much deliberation and discussion, the World Health Organization (WHO) has officially added "bless their heart" as an ICD-10 diagnosis code. A WHO spokesperson was reached to comment on the newest...
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Patient Admitted with Acute on Subacute on Subchronic on Chronic Congestive Systolic Heart Failure

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CHARLESTON, SC - Sure to both please medical coders and confuse medical staff, hospitalist Mitchell Essex has listed as the first problem on his patient's problem list "acute on subacute on subchronic...
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Breaking: ABIM Requires Daily Recertification

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a move that will most certainly not be received well by the medical community, the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) will now require that physicians undergo daily...
pens

Breaking: Rare Black Marker Spotted in Proximity of Patient White Board

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ATLANTA, GA - Calling it nothing short of "miraculous," hospitalist Art Beck reported the rarest of sightings today when he spotted a black marker in immediate proximity to the white board in...

Epic announces new “Jesus Take the Wheel” feature

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VERONA, WI - Citing demand from overwhelmed physicians, Epic spokesperson Kaitlynn Mulligan announced the enterprise electronic health record software’s newest feature: Jesus Take the Wheel, or JTW. With JTW activated, physicians no longer need...

New ICD 10 Codes Prove Extremely Useful

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New ICD 10 code series for when you have no f***g clue what’s going on with your patient, but you still want to get paid. Use ICD 10 code U 00.00. Unspecified illness of...
rich historian

Breaking: Patient is a Rich Historian, Perhaps the Best Historian Ever

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PORTLAND, OR - In what is certainly a breath of fresh air, an ER physician was pleasantly surprised to discover that her patient wasn't a poor historian; in fact, she was a...
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