Wednesday, August 12, 2020
septic colonized keyboard

Breaking: Rare Nurses Station Computer Has Working Keyboard & Working Mouse

NASHVILLE, TN - In what is certainly the best medical feel-good story since the patient who asked only for Tylenol for pain back in 2015, a computer at the nurses station has...
Santa charting

Santa Gonna Be Up All Night Charting Children’s Visits

NORTH POLE - Having successfully rounded on kids across the planet and delivering them gifts on Christmas Eve & Christmas Day, Santa Claus has finally returned to his office to begin his...
septic colonized keyboard

Saint Mary Hospital’s EMR Offers 2 New Discharge Disposition Options: Heaven or Hell

BETHLEHEM, PA—Following the lead of religiously-affiliated hospitals around the country, St. Mary Hospital recently updated their electronic medical record/order entry system to include two additional discharge disposition options. Normally, when a patient leaves the...

WHO adds “Bless their Heart” as an ICD-10 diagnosis code

New York, NY- After much deliberation and discussion, the World Health Organization (WHO) has officially added "bless their heart" as an ICD-10 diagnosis code. A WHO spokesperson was reached to comment on the newest...
routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Patient Admitted with Acute on Subacute on Subchronic on Chronic Congestive Systolic Heart Failure

CHARLESTON, SC - Sure to both please medical coders and confuse medical staff, hospitalist Mitchell Essex has listed as the first problem on his patient's problem list "acute on subacute on subchronic...
audible sighs world record world-record

Breaking: ABIM Requires Daily Recertification

PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a move that will most certainly not be received well by the medical community, the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) will now require that physicians undergo daily...

Breaking: Rare Black Marker Spotted in Proximity of Patient White Board

ATLANTA, GA - Calling it nothing short of "miraculous," hospitalist Art Beck reported the rarest of sightings today when he spotted a black marker in immediate proximity to the white board in...

Epic announces new “Jesus Take the Wheel” feature

VERONA, WI - Citing demand from overwhelmed physicians, Epic spokesperson Kaitlynn Mulligan announced the enterprise electronic health record software’s newest feature: Jesus Take the Wheel, or JTW. With JTW activated, physicians no longer need...

New ICD 10 Codes Prove Extremely Useful

New ICD 10 code series for when you have no f***g clue what’s going on with your patient, but you still want to get paid. Use ICD 10 code U 00.00. Unspecified illness of...
rich historian

Breaking: Patient is a Rich Historian, Perhaps the Best Historian Ever

PORTLAND, OR - In what is certainly a breath of fresh air, an ER physician was pleasantly surprised to discover that her patient wasn't a poor historian; in fact, she was a...