Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Dilaumed: Look-Alike Sound-Alike Medication Praised by ER Physicians and Nurses Everywhere

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new medication that has been deliberately named to be a classic look-alike sound-alike drug, has been welcomed with arms wide open among emergency medicine physicians and nurses. "We typically have to...
creepy medical student

Report: Medical School Limiting the Number of Creepy Applicants to Cut Down on Creepy...

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OMAHA, NE – Creighton University led the nation last year in normal to above normal applicants.  "We have a pretty good applicant pool when it comes to socially acceptable students," Dr. Nipper, Dean of...
blood

Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors

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MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday.  84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room while undergoing an abdominal aneurysm repair. “Blood started pouring out everywhere,”...
googling medical symptoms

Study: 4th Graders with Google Better Doctors Than 96% of New Medical Student Graduates

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - A new study published last week in Barney and Friends magazine revealed that 4th graders, if given a computer with internet search access, were superior in medical knowledge, diagnosis, and cost effectiveness, than 96% of...

‘Real World Medical School’ Canceled After One Episode

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SAN JOSE, CA - The Real World Medical School was immediately canceled by NBC after the first episode last night.  "Absolutely nothing exciting happened," said viewer Stacy Henderson. John went to the library and studied for...

Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene

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SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors reported abnormally abnormal behavior.  When a 9-1-1 operator gets a call...
Chart of Death

Coroner Cause of Death: ‘Physical Therapy Note Missing Date and Time’

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ALBUQUERQUE, NM - GomerBlog regretfully reports on a hospital death that could have been saved if the physical therapy note was dated and timed appropriately.  Beau Thorsgood, Albuquerque’s coroner, told reporters this morning that...

Nurses Now Required to Chart When and What They Are Charting

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SILVER SPRING, MD - Tuesday, the American Nurses Association (ANA), the Society for Pediatric Nurses (SPN), and the National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners (NAPNAP), released a joint memo stating that all nurses must...

Doctor Orders Food Trays for Intubated Patients, Eats for Free

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GALVESTON, TX – Charles Wilson is a typical pulmonary/critical care fellow who spends 130 hours a week at the hospital (officially 80), which totals $6.10 an hour.  For GomerBlog to find out that he is stretching...

American Academy of Pediatrics Increase Recommended Age for Car Seats to 17

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – New recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), printed in this month's issue of Pediatrics, will further change the way many parents secure their children in their cars.  "We've determined...