ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!
NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only...
Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator
LOS ANGELES, CA - Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of medicine colleague Louis Lefebvre's stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized...
Med Student Wastes Dying Patient’s Last Moments on Earth Talking About Damn Krebs Cycle
LAS VEGAS, NV - F**K! The Snout is at it again! Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) med student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones has been...
Elite HIPAA Stormtroopers Raid Hospital, Kill 48, Secure 1 Chart
BOCA RATON, FL - An elite HIPAA Stormtrooper unit raided Madre De Díos Hospital when it was alerted that a nurse had left a chart...
Pilot Consults Medicine, Asks if Plane Cleared for Landing
DELTA 240 - Just as he started his descent into Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport after a long transatlantic flight, Captain Jack Wilson asked if "Medicine was...
Mayo Secretly Celebrates New #1 Status After Cleveland Clinic Comes Out Anti-Vax
ROCHESTER, MN - The Mayo Clinic recently held a campus-wide party this weekend full of "Number 1" balloons and cakes that said "Mayo #1". ...
Man with Frog in Throat Also Has Tadpoles in Scrotum
HICKORY, NC - Jerry Thompson has been dealing with a hoarse voice over the past week, something not uncommon as temperatures cool with the...
Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’
BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has...