Thursday, July 21, 2022
screening for cancer

TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports

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ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with Hartsfield-Jackson International (ATL) airport this coming weekend, in an effort...
printer toner

Printer at Nurses Station Celebrates Its 10th Straight Year without Toner

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NASHVILLE, TN - Congratulations!  Today, the printer labelled prntr04 at the fourth floor nurses station in Saint Thomas Midtown Hospital is celebrating its 10th straight year without any toner. "Today is truly a momentous occasion, we cannot...
butterflies stomach

Nervous Patient’s KUB Shows Butterflies in Her Stomach

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LOS ANGELES, CA - A 44-year-old female was preparing for a big work-related speech when she presented to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center with anxiety and nausea worse than what is typical for her known fear...
black cloud white cloud

The Difference Between White Clouds & Black Clouds

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Have you ever been labeled a white cloud or a black cloud by your friends and colleagues, and wondered what that meant? A white cloud has an easy, painless, perhaps even fun shift or call. ...
drape fort iron drapes

Search & Rescue Team Saves Anesthesiologist Buried Under Drape Avalanche

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DALLAS, TX - Search and rescue operations are underway to locate anesthesiologist Kelly Doolittle in operating room (OR) 5 at Dallas Medical Center after an avalanche of neatly-pressed drapes tumbled on top of her...

Hospitals Unleash New, Brutally Honest Slogans

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NEW YORK, NY - Forget the days of the compassionate and uplifting slogans like “A Passion for Healing,” “Because Your Life Matters,” or “Every Day, a New Discovery.”  With record numbers of nurses and...
femur stethoscope

Orthopod Caught Listening to Femur with Stethoscope

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ATLANTA, GA - In an awkward moment at a patient's bedside earlier today, orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley was caught doing what can only be described as a head-scratcher: auscultating his patient's surgically-repaired femur with a stethoscope. "I...
icu patient

Nurse Keeps Dead Patient to Prevent Another Admission

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CHARLESTON, SC - Nurse Missy Croney neglected to tell the charge nurse her patient was deceased because she couldn’t stand the idea of gaining a new admit.  “I’m so stressed already.  I don’t have...
aorta

Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering

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INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands.  At 5:42 a.m. a STAT complete blood count (CBC) was ordered on a...

Entire OR Team Kneels During Timeout to Protest Administrators

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GREEN BAY, WI - In a stunning turn of events, entire OR teams including Anesthesia kneeled today during all surgical timeouts today at Bellin Hospital.  The shocking display of unity against the hospital administrators...