Breaking: Santa Hospitalized After Sleigh Collides with Drone
LONDON, ENGLAND - Santa Claus is in critical condition this morning after his Christmas sleigh collided with a drone over Gatwick airport last night.
Witnesses...
A Modern Hippocratic Oath for Hospital Administrators
Going forward, I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this cost-saving and value-added covenant:
I am an agent of change...
Ortho Consults Medicine to See if It’s Spelled Orthopedics or Orthopaedics
BOSTON, MA - Unable to settle a decades-long debate amongst themselves, orthopods at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) have swallowed their pride and consulted their...
Vader Displeased with Readmissions, Delinquent Discharge Summaries
MED-SURG UNIT, DEATH STAR MEDICAL CENTER, DEATH STAR - We have received word from the Rebel Alliance that Darth Vader has been distracted and displeased...
July Interns Forcing Nurses to Take July Vacation in Record Numbers
MILWAUKEE, WI - Migraines, elevated blood pressures, and heart attacks are just a few things nurses are trying to avoid this month as they...
Spooky: Pyxis Swallows Nurse Whole, Rescue Underway
NEW YORK, NY - In unexpected and unfortunate news today, floor nurse Yelena Ivanovic was accidentally swallowed by her Pyxis machine shortly after engaging...
Genuine ‘Slipped and Fell’ Rectal Foreign Body Victim Stuns Experts
RICHMOND, VA - In what is thought to be a world's first, witnesses have confirmed that a young Virginian man genuinely slipped and fell...
Amazing Survival Story: Patient Lives by Pressing Call Light 46 Times in a One...
AUSTIN, TX - 56-year-old patient, Andrew Whitestack, is being credited with saving his own life by pushing the nursing call light button 46 times...
Intern Immediately Regrets Asking Open-Ended Question
SAN JOSE, CA - “Hi, Mr. Jones. Tell me about your night,” said by the stupidest, know-nothingest, why-did-I-just-do-that intern, Dr. Austin. Austin, a new...
Orthopedics Consults Infectious Diseases for Potential Computer Virus
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Dr. Joseph Dell of Orthopedic Surgery was hoping it would be a calm day; no surgeries were scheduled and his...