Elephant Complains of Chest Pain ‘Like a Human Sitting on My Chest’
NEW YORK, NY - At approximately 6:00 AM this morning, a local elephant named Eli the Elephant developed excruciating ten out of ten chest...
Interventional Radiology To Only Do Procedures if INR < 0
OAK BROOK, IL - In an effort to completely eliminate the risk of bleeding, newly-issued guidelines from the Radiological Society of North America (RSNA)...
Reality Star Doc McStuffins Opens Up About Physician Burnout
ALBANY, NY - A stack of unfinished charts. Overturned juice boxes. An exhausted young physician, asleep on her desk, is awoken suddenly by her...
Clumsy Intern Keeps Tripping Over Patients’ Foley Catheters
BOULDER, CO - Patients, nurses, and urologists at Boulder Medical Center are starting to lose patience with intern Willie Johnson, who despite being incredibly...
Mehmet Oz Stripped of Medical Degree, Now Just ‘Med Student Oz’
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Television quack and cardiothoracic surgeon Mehmet Oz has been stripped of his medical degree (MD) by the University of Pennsylvania School...
New Surgical Jason Masks Loved by Nurses, Doctors
CRYSTAL LAKE - Nurses, doctors, and other health care practitioners across the nation have announced their overwhelming support for the newly-redesigned surgical masks or Jason...
An Internist’s Guide to the Description of Rashes
Dermatologic conditions and rashes can be hard to describe. Don't have time to refresh on those terms? Don't you fret! Rather than ask a...
Trump University School of Medicine Now Accepting Applications!
Donald J. Trump and all of the Trump Organization LLC invite you to enroll in the inaugural class of the Donald J. Trump School...
New Narcan Reversal Agent, NarCANT, Hits the Market
CHICAGO, IL - After years of having their days ruined by jackwad paramedics and God-complexed ER nurses, opioid addicts everywhere rejoiced today at the...
Breaking: Winning Word at Ortho Spelling Bee is “WBAT”
TIBIAL PLAINS, PA - Defeating over 300 of the country’s best-spelling orthopods, Jimmy “Jackhammer” Jameson has claimed the coveted title of American Ortho Spelling Bee...