Hospitals Using Simulation to Prepare for North Korea Nuke Attack
Hospitals across the nation are preparing for possible nuclear warfare with North Korea. In order for physicians and trainees to be ready for such...
Red Sharps Containers Replaced by Magic Sword Boxes
MAGIC CITY, ID—If you’ve been at Magic City Medical Center recently, you may have noticed that those iconic red sharps containers that used to...
Rodgers: Ryan Braun Was Confused About How HGH Works
GREEN BAY, WI - Ryan Braun, left fielder for the Milwaukee Brewers, admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs on July 22. Green Bay Packers’ Aaron Rodgers...
Lyrica-Eluting Stent for End Stage Fibromyalgia Sufferers
BERKELEY, CA - End stage fibromyalgia (ESF), affects 1 in 100,000 Americans nationwide. They frequently suffer short employment expectancy, have one of the highest...
ACP Guidelines for Low Back Pain: ‘Anything, ANYTHING But Opioids’
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Last week, the American College of Physicians (ACP) published new recommendations for the management of nonradicular low back pain in the...
Man Claims to Have Caught Ebola from Flu Shot
DALLAS, TX - Local resident Sam Worthington is claiming to have contracted Ebola from his yearly flu shot. The irony is found in contracting a...
Profits Soar After Area Hospital Opens ‘All You Can Eat/Shoot Narcotics Buffet’
In response to poor HCHAPS scores and declining revenue, St John’s in the Valley has become the first hospital in the nation to trial...
Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled.
“Are you sure?”...
Doctor Holds Patient’s Pine Bark Extract, Family Furious
KEARNEY, NE - In what can only described as a sh*tstorm, the family of 84-year-old Edward Dwindles expressed their furor when they found out that...