Fitbit Releases Sh*tbit, The Revolutionary New Bowel Movement Tracker
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Fitbit has released a revolutionary wireless-enabled wearable technology to help people measure data as related to the business of doing...
PT Recommends Bedside Commode, Bedside Komodo Dragon
MARIETTA, GA - Physical Therapy has just left recommendations for hospitalist David Walker regarding their mutual patient 50-year-old Gina Welch, who was admitted for pneumonia,...
Santa Uses Electronic Gifts Record and Screws up Bigtime
“It has been a disaster,” said Santa while banging his head against the computer monitor screen. “It has never taken me so long to...
Acute GI Bleed ER Patient Admitted to ICU with One 22g IV Dangling in...
CLEVELAND, OH – Initial news feeds are reporting that an acute GI bleed patient is being transferred up from the ER to the ICU...
Purell Releases New Life-Sized Foaming Body Sanitizer
AKRON, OH - Realizing that clean hands was the tip of the iceberg, GOJO Industries, Inc. have announced their biggest and baddest Purell product yet:...
Tips: How to Pronounce a Difficult Drug Name Without Choking, Aspirating, Dying
Last month, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (“The” FDA) approved the efficacious and unpronounceable idarucizumab (also known, thankfully, as Praxbind) to reverse the...
Breaking: Patient States His Medical History Should “All be in the Computer”
CHARLESTON, SC - Breaking News emerged today out of South Carolina’s Emergency Department of Save Us All Memorial Hospital (SUAMH). A 57-year-old patient arrived...
Maker of EKG Pads Now Recommends 230-Lead EKGs for Patients
FRIDLEY, MN - New studies are demonstrating that the more EKG leads a patient has, the more accurate the EKG is. Previously, only 12...
Man Claims to Have Caught Ebola from Flu Shot
DALLAS, TX - Local resident Sam Worthington is claiming to have contracted Ebola from his yearly flu shot. The irony is found in contracting a...
Revolutionary New Antibiotic Has No Drug Interactions
The pharmaceutical company PharmaWow has just released its latest drug, an antibiotic which they claim will not interact with anything.
In response to the growing...