New Study Describes “Y.M.C.A. Reflex”
BOSTON, MA—It has been observed for decades and is so commonplace as to almost be an afterthought. And yet, after a thorough review of the...
Man in US Furious About Waiting 15 minutes in ER; Meanwhile Patient in South...
DENVER, CO – 46-year-old Marcus Stillbee is furious after waiting for 15 minutes to be seen at the local Quicky Care Medical Center ER...
Chaos as ICU Attending Touches Defibrillator
LEBANON, IN – An internal mass casualty incident was declared at Saint Sebastian Hospital on Thursday morning after an ICU physician inadvertently discharged a...
Doctors Mandated to Rub Patients’ Bellies to Improve Patient Satisfaction Scores
PENSACOLA, FL - In an effort to bolster patient satisfaction scores, doctors at Sacred Heart Health System have been mandated to rub patients' bellies, say...
Intern Has Mild Troponin Bump Over Patient’s Mild Troponin Bump
NASHVILLE, TN - After seeing her patient with chest pain develop a mild troponin bump up to 0.25 on this morning's set of labs,...
Hospitals Unleash New, Brutally Honest Slogans
NEW YORK, NY - Forget the days of the compassionate and uplifting slogans like “A Passion for Healing,” “Because Your Life Matters,” or “Every...
Endocrine responds valiantly to Blood Glucose of 201
Local Endocrine fellow and brand-new father, Dr. Patrick Tumble, reports unadulterated joy at getting 3 am phone call regarding a high blood glucose. Dr.Tumble...
Med Student Eager to Fax This Form with “All That I’ve Got”
NASHVILLE, TN - Only hours into her first internal medicine clerkship, third-year Vanderbilt University medical student Erin Sperling is a tad bit nervous but...
NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively
BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...
Local Centenarian Attributes Longevity to Drinking, Sex, Survivorship Bias
Lenny Jones, a retired pipe fitter and Navy veteran celebrated his 102nd birthday at the Greenwood Hills nursing home on Tuesday.
When asked about the...