Internal Medicine

prescription

Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend

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DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...
Trojan condom

It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists

0
NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan...
pharmacist

A Pharmacist’s Nightmare: A Drug Seeker & Their Excuses

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We all know that pharmacists and pharmacy technicians are on the front lines when it comes to drug-seeking patients. Somehow they can hold it...
tightrope walker

Amateur Tightrope Walker Looks Forward to First Level I Trauma Visit

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KANSAS CITY, MO - 28-year-old Taylor Jasper, a banker by trade who just came across tightroping just days ago, told those closest to him...

Orthopod Writes a Longer Note Than Hospitalist: Metaphysical Calamity Ensues

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KEARNEY, NE - Fatefully cleaving the time line in two, an orthopedic surgeon at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) wrote a progress note longer than...
Ebola quarantine chart

NY/NJ Ebola Algorithm for People with Recent Travel to Africa

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* We truly appreciate you risking your life to treat dying people... just stay away from us. * ** Free to leave includes taking mass...
pencil by medical specialty

Describe This Pencil by Medical Specialty

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Your specialty of choice fosters a certain way of doing things. We polled residents from several different specialties and asked them to describe this...
doc mcstuffins

Study: Doc McStuffins More Evidence-Based Than Dr. Oz

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ANAHEIM, CA - Public health researchers have published the results of a new study which sought to objectively measure the quality of medical advice given...
need coffee

Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken

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SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...

Social-Histories Improve Markedly Following Social Media Data Hack

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Medical institutions across the nation have noticed a dramatic increase in the social history accuracy of their medical records over the past month, following...