Internal Medicine

Tips: How to Keep Your Necktie Nice & Colonized‏

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So who doesn’t love neckties?  Not only do they strangle your windpipe, but they also spread disease with reckless abandon.  Cheers to that!  Here...

Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’

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BOCA RATON, FL - Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the...

Ben Carson: Heart Attack Victims Could Have Survived If They Cathed Own Coronaries

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DETROIT, MI - According to retired neurosurgeon and presidential hopeful Ben Carson, patients who have died due to acute myocardial infarctions or “heart attacks”...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Reminder: ‘Sleep Tight and Definitely Do Not Let the Bed Bugs Bite’

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ATLANTA, GA - Tonight, shortly after reading the public a bedtime story, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wanted to say "Good night!"...
Flonass

Flonass: Flonase’s Sister Spray for Anal Sniffles

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LONDON, ENGLAND - When the season's change - either from winter to spring or from summer to fall - we often focus on runny...
hospital specials

Commotion in the Hospital Cafeteria After Healthy Menu Installed

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LOS ANGELES, CA - A pediatric hospital has come under fire after revamping their inpatient food services menu. The director of nutrition at Coastline...

Dilaudid & Morphine Shortage Prompts Pharmacy to Switch to Heroin PCA Pumps

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SMITHVILLE, AR - The ongoing rise in demand for opiate medications, combined with limited supply of intravenous narcotics has left physicians, nurses, and pharmacists...
washing hands

Fecal Transplant for C. diff Safe, Effective, Gross

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BOSTON, MA - In the latest issue of the New England Journal of Medicine, a multicenter randomized controlled trial of 256 patients at 18...
physical exam

AMA Holds Funeral Service for Physical Exam

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The American Medical Association held a large funeral service today in honor of the Physical Exam, which passed away earlier this month after a...

Nursing Student Enters OR Without Shoe Covers: Beatings Commence

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WARWICK, RI - The student nurse stared nervously at the blood-red line bisecting the hallway.  Scrub hat and surgical mask, check.  Full breakfast and...