New STOP ACLS Algorithm Proven to Reduce Hospital Costs and Readmissions
JOPLIN, MO - New ACLS guidelines have been published that are anticipated to completely revolutionize the care given to patients in cardiac arrest. "The...
Patient Transferred from Observation Unit to Intervention Unit
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Physician assistant (PA) Iris Jones thought it was just another day in the Observation Unit or Obs Unit. She made...
Health Department Gives Parrots To Patients Who Need Reminding
MADISON, WI — The Dane County Department of Public Health has issued free parrots to 250 of the most frequently hospitalized patients in Madison....
CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything
WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the infection by Ebola of Nurse Nina Pham, who had cared for the first victim of that...
ER Refuses to End Hospital Shutdown Until IM Agrees to Admit All Drunks
NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center has shut down the hospital after negotiations between the Emergency Room (ER) and Internal Medicine (IM) failed...
Purell Releases New Life-Sized Foaming Body Sanitizer
AKRON, OH - Realizing that clean hands was the tip of the iceberg, GOJO Industries, Inc. have announced their biggest and baddest Purell product yet:...
German Scientists develops safe, effective tool to remove gerbils from rectums
Oslo, Norway - An advancement that has been heralded as a boon for animal rights and paraphilia aficionados everywhere was recently unveiled at the...
Texas Ebola Doctor: ‘Nurse, I’ll Be Right Behind You’
DALLAS, TX - Reports are coming in that during the care of the Liberian Ebola victim, the lead physician told his nurse: "Let's go into...
Formerly Gluten-Sensitive Patient Now Claims Evidence Insensitivity
NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain. The New York native,...
Need to Renew Your ACLS? New Interactive Code Blue Simulator, ‘Resusci-A**hole,’ Yells Obscenities...
It’s that time again. Time for you to buck up and go get your ACLS renewed before it expires. Everyone knows that after a...