Internal Medicine

The Joint Commission, Useless in the Time of COVID, to Mandate N95 Timers

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The Joint Commission’s executive team, fresh off a socially-distanced golf retreat at Pebble Beach, reiterated its commitment to patient safety and unreimbursed hospital spending...
surgical bouffant

Surgeons are Furious! The Bouffant vs. The Skull Cap

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For decades, the skull cap has been the surgical cap of choice for many surgeons across the country.  Recently, hospitals have begun banning the...
transporting patient

Gomer To Be Discharged From Medical Floor Soon As ER Bed Opens Up

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PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has successfully been treated for “pneumonia” and is ready to be...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

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PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...
doctors and administrators clapping

Hospital Administrators Think High Healthcare Costs Fixed by Hiring More Hospital Administrators

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WASHINGTON, DC - CEOs of major US hospitals are breaking their silence and coming out in favor of hiring more hospital administrators.  CEO of...
smoking at hospital

Patient with Inhuman Perseverance and Resolve Makes It Outside to Smoke with 50 Pounds...

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COLUMBUS, OH - Last week a patient at University Hospital performed a feat so incredible, so difficult, that she has earned the distinction of...
zoll

Psalm of Zoll

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All hail the mighty Zoll, savior of the ICU The one who brings back life from the brink of death He’ll send you a jolt to...

Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart

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THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....
hospital admin paperwork

Administrative Storm Andrew to Bring Six Feet of Paperwork

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BURLINGTON, VT - GomerBlog meteorologists report that the first major healthcare storm of the season, Administrative Storm Andrew, has already unloaded over three feet...

Hospital Administrator: It’s Important to Have Work-Life Imbalance

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NEW YORK, NY - Hospital administrator Todd Williams told media today that he understands that burnout among health care practitioners is a very real...