Internal Medicine

thanksgiving

Internal Medicine Intern Boasts Over Thanksgiving Dinner, ‘I’m Basically Running the Whole Hospital’

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NASHVILLE, TN - Dr. Nick Johnson, a recent medical school graduate and internal medicine resident impressed his family at Thanksgiving dinner last night when...

Insurance Company to Start Paying Clients in Monopoly Money to Cut Costs

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NEW YORK, NY - Insurance companies have been struggling to stay afloat over the past 5 years.  Most are financially in the black as the...

CDC Warning: Dangerous “Dry Humping” Bug Found in Lower U.S.

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has identified a new insect vector that is rampantly spreading disease in the southern portions...
pot of coffee

Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...

Clinic Patient Brings Meds in McDonald’s Bag, Must Be Compliant

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NEW YORK, NY - At 8:35 AM this morning, patient Philip Kruger showed up to his primary care clinic appointment with his medications stuffed...
happy hour for health care workers

The Medical Professional Development Drinking Game

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All health professionals will have to participate in some sort of mandatory professional development from time to time.  Whether it’s an organization-wide initiative to...
hospital gurney

Physician DCs Bed in Order to Get Patient to Leave Hospital

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DETROIT, MI - In a fit of mild rage and decisive action, local physician Dr. Enuf wrote his final order in the battle with an...

Nation Gives Fauci Permission to Take 15-Minute Power Nap

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UNITED STATES - American citizens have given Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, permission to sneak...

Massachusetts ICU Nurse Wins Powerball, Uses Patient’s Vital Signs as Lucky Numbers

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CAMBRIDGE, MA - Local ICU nurse Debbie Watson called in rich this morning after winning the historic Powerball. When nobody claimed a the Powerball winnings...