Nocturnist Found Answering Phone Call Without Passive Aggressive Feelings
NEW YORK, NY – In an incident of astoundingly good professional behavior, a nocturnist in Titmouse County Hospital, NY was found answering a phone...
New Recommendations for Flu Vaccination: ‘Lick a Knob’ Campaign
DES PLAINES, IL - Doctors in northwest Illinois have a new method to help older adults stave off illness during the upcoming flu season.
Dr....
Physician Signs Out Patient Census and Pager, Has Slight Orgasm
ORLANDO, FL - After having one of the toughest weeks in her professional career as a hospitalist during which she had a census of...
Patient Undergoes Successful Prophylactic Cardiac Resection
NASHVILLE, TN - A patient has undergone successful prophylactic cardiac resection at Nashville Medical Center today in a “very proactive effort" to mitigate any...
New Weight Loss Surgery to Bypass Stomach, Mouth Completely
BALTIMORE, MD – Calling the new procedure a “miracle in bariatric surgery,” physicians at John’s Hopkins University spoke at a press conference last Saturday...
Medical Student Struggles to Stay Awake During Radiology Rotation
OMAHA, NE - Despite doubling up on his morning coffee, medical student Brad Haverford has found it exceedingly difficult to stay awake during his fourth-year...
Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential
PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life. "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...
No-Show Rates Skyrocket Around Flag Day
ARLINGTON, VA - Citing elaborate Flag Day celebrations, year after year patients just don't show up at Hamilton & Burr Trauma Hospital near our nation's...
Patient with Inhuman Perseverance and Resolve Makes It Outside to Smoke with 50 Pounds...
COLUMBUS, OH - Last week a patient at University Hospital performed a feat so incredible, so difficult, that she has earned the distinction of...