Internal Medicine

loser health care job

This Just In: Your Health Care Job Sucks

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Hey YOU, that’s right, I’m talking to you. Gomerblog just wanted to take some time to let you know that your job sucks. Really....
anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

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Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...
flossing anus rectum

American College of Gastroenterology Recommends Flossing Rectum Daily

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BETHESDA, MD - Influenced by close analysis of guidelines published by the American Dental Association (ADA), new guidelines from the American College of Gastroenterology...

Doctor Sees Patient Outside of Clinic

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CHICAGO, IL - Dr. Wilkenson shared an elevator with one of his patients Wednesday.  “Diane.”  He said nodding his head.  “How’s the...”  He paused...

Tom Brady Trademarks “TB x TB x TB”

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TAMPA BAY, FL - Immediately after signing a 2-year deal worth $50 million with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 6-time Super Bowl champion quarterback Tom...

New STOP ACLS Algorithm Proven to Reduce Hospital Costs and Readmissions

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JOPLIN, MO - New ACLS guidelines have been published that are anticipated to completely revolutionize the care given to patients in cardiac arrest.  "The...

Doctor Returns Borrowed Pen

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On rounds today in the surgical ICU, a heretofore-unseen humanitarian act was performed: an attending physician borrowed a pen from the medical student, then...
plywood spool

Generous Administrators Upgrade Medicine Conference Room Table with Large Plywood Spool

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ALBANY, NY - In a show of boundless generosity, the hospital administration has donated a large plywood spool to the internal medicine work room to...

ER Refuses to End Hospital Shutdown Until IM Agrees to Admit All Drunks

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NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center has shut down the hospital after negotiations between the Emergency Room (ER) and Internal Medicine (IM) failed...

Social-Histories Improve Markedly Following Social Media Data Hack

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Medical institutions across the nation have noticed a dramatic increase in the social history accuracy of their medical records over the past month, following...