Internal Medicine

medical residency

Maintenance of Certification Programs to Require Repeating Residency

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - If there ever was a solid example of mission creep, Maintenance of Certification (MOC) programs for physicians have set a new standard.  Overnight,...
strange and awkward doctor

Call Room Passion Described as ‘Awkward,’ ‘Sweaty’

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Dr. Samantha Brown, a newly-minted emergency medicine resident, was 7 weeks into residency before she had her first major disappointment of...
vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

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CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
bedside komodo dragon

PT Recommends Bedside Commode, Bedside Komodo Dragon

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MARIETTA, GA - Physical Therapy has just left recommendations for hospitalist David Walker regarding their mutual patient 50-year-old Gina Welch, who was admitted for pneumonia,...
medical app

Exciting New Medical App Allows Patients to Preorder Dilaudid Before ER Arrival

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BOCA RATON, FL - Patient rights advocates from sea to shining sea are giving high compliments to Madre De Díos Medical Center for its...
YMCA

New Study Describes “Y.M.C.A. Reflex”

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BOSTON, MA—It has been observed for decades and is so commonplace as to almost be an afterthought.  And yet, after a thorough review of the...

Social-Histories Improve Markedly Following Social Media Data Hack

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Medical institutions across the nation have noticed a dramatic increase in the social history accuracy of their medical records over the past month, following...

Dr. Fauci Implores We All Watch Bob Ross on Infinite Loop Immediately

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Addressing a restless and concerned American public over COVID-19, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious...

New STOP ACLS Algorithm Proven to Reduce Hospital Costs and Readmissions

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JOPLIN, MO - New ACLS guidelines have been published that are anticipated to completely revolutionize the care given to patients in cardiac arrest.  "The...