ECG Tech Rejoices: ECG Ordered as ‘Routine’
DURHAM, NC - ECG (electrocardiogram) tech Joy Foreman rejoiced as she came upon a true rarity today when it comes to the world of diagnostic...
Medicare to Use Physician and Nurse Surveys to Rate Patients for Compensation
WASHINGTON, DC - Medicare announced groundbreaking plans to use physician and nurse surveys to rate their patients by 2017 as a measure to set “individualized”...
Doctor Sees Patient Outside of Clinic
CHICAGO, IL - Dr. Wilkenson shared an elevator with one of his patients Wednesday. “Diane.” He said nodding his head. “How’s the...” He paused...
Doctor Introduces New ‘Rate My Patient’ App
Tired of mediocre Yelp reviews by non-compliant patients, Dr. Thomson created “Rate my Patient”, an app designed for physicians that gives them a little...
Attending to Attending Conversation Upgraded To Category 5
CHARLESTON, SC - The impending attending to attending conversation scheduled to hit the 6th floor this evening was recently upgraded to Category 5, bringing with...
Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...
COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance
ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight...
Inventor of Slogan ‘Pain is the 5th Vital Sign’ Now Concedes Pain is Actually...
NEW YORK, NY - Last night, in an emotional interview with Dateline NBC, Lisa Washington, who famously coined the term "Pain is the 5th Vital...
ABIM Taps Putin to Quash Internal Medicine MOC Revolt
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) President and CEO Dr. Richard Baron introduced his new Maintenance of Certification (MOC) position...
Wellness Emails Send Physician Into Homicidal Rage
PROVIDENCE, RI - Police were called to Quintac Hospital yesterday to subdue a "violent and deranged physician," according to a department spokesperson. Details are...