Internal Medicine

confused gluten

Formerly Gluten-Sensitive Patient Now Claims Evidence Insensitivity

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NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain.  The New York native,...

Goodnight Hospital

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In the dark call room There was a telephone And a lumpy bed And a a picture of An ancient man’s torso and head And there were three white...
pine bark extract

Doctor Holds Patient’s Pine Bark Extract, Family Furious

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KEARNEY, NE - In what can only described as a sh*tstorm, the family of 84-year-old Edward Dwindles expressed their furor when they found out that...
hospital administrator

Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...

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BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Why Not: CDC Recommends Adding Vanco & Zosyn to the Water

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ATLANTA, GA - Finally accepting the reality that antibiotic stewardship among health care professionals is just a pipe dream, Acting Director of the Centers...
boxing gloves

Bickering Chiefs of Medicine & Surgery Sent to the Principal’s Office, Yet Again

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BOSTON, MA - In developing news at Boston Health & Science University, 51-year-old Chief of Medicine Kyle Jones and 53-year-old Chief of Surgery Maya...
ICD-10

ICD-10 Already Being Updated to ICD-10.2 in 2014

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WASHINGTON, DC - The much anticipated ICD-10 implementation in October 2014 will have new competition.  Even before the official release of ICD-10, the International...
Gerbil bowel prep tsunami

Gerbil in Colon Nervously Awaits Bowel Prep Tsunami

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SOME DUDE'S COLON - Gerald the Gerbil just received the bad news that his whereabouts have been discovered, and now he nervously awaits the...
nasal cannula

Patient Placed on 4,000 Liters by Nasal Cannula

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SPOKANE, WA - Sometimes you have to think outside the box. That's exactly what a rapid response team did this morning: In a...

Doctors shocked to discover patient with low pain tolerance

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Dr. John Payne, an orthopaedist at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia just announced a shocking discovery he made yesterday, while in...