Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...
Super Bacteria Found In Hipster’s Beard, Also Has Beard
WILLIAMSBURG, NY - A local area hospital recently broke the news that a highly drug-resistant bacterial species was isolated from a man’s beard. The...
Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack
Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child. Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind...
Yawning: America’s New Epidemic
YAHNSBERG, YAWNSIN - The first case of yawning was reported in 622 BC by Cepheyawneas. Historians may continue to debate if this case was Patient Zero, but...
ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids
ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking...
Today’s Allerlogical Forecast
Aries: Have you been thinking about peanuts, Aries? If so, there are likely peanuts in your future. But you won't even touch them, because...
Attending Does NOT Agree with Intern’s Plan as Noted Above
AUBURN, AL - “This is absolute horsesh*t,” said family medicine attending Renata Bellows, as she read over her intern’s progress note. “This is terrible....
Medicine Consulted for History and Physical
IOWA CITY, IA - The University of Iowa Orthopedic Department has gone "all-in." At 13:36 on Thursday, Orthopedic Surgery finally took the plunge from the...
Hospital Coupons for Upcoming Black Friday Sale
With insurance companies tightening up their wallets and competition for patients heating up with the cross town rival, Kind Humanitarian Hospital Administrators had to...
Tips: How to Sneak In Some Exercise While Evaluating Your Patients
Our workdays are long, so it’s no surprise when we get home we may not exercise as much as we’d like. Sure, waking up...