Internist Trampled to Death by Herd of Wild Zebras
ST. LOUIS, MO - Sad news today as a local internal medicine physician was trampled to death by a herd of wild zebras while...
Therapy Dogs Now Required to Write Progress Notes
BOSTON, MA – In another unprecedented move by the Joint Commission (JC), therapy dogs will now be required to write progress notes on the patients...
Not Impressed: Cards Downgrades A-Fib to B-Minus
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Completely unimpressed by his patient's routine ECG this morning, cardiologist Paul Framingham has formally downgraded the diagnosis from an A-fib to...
Specialist Comes Clean, Reports Maybe 40% of All Consults Were Actually Interesting
In a stunning revelation this week, cardiologist Dr. Jeff Dykes estimates that despite writing “Thank you for the interesting consult” on all of his...
New Cracker Jack ‘Toys’ Include Condoms, Clean Syringes
PLANO, TX - Frito-Lay has just announced "Good fun!" in the form of a limited edition of Cracker Jack Chocolate & Caramel Flavored Popcorn, in...
Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results
BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....
Hospitals Now Offering Official Sponsorship
DENVER, CO - Historically hospitals have struggled to stay afloat, and have strived to maintain adequate staffing. Looking for answers, hospital administrators of St. Mary’s Hospital...
So You’re Paged While in a Bouncy House, What to Do Next
There you are, jumping around happily in a bouncy house when the unthinkable happens: you get paged. Well, maybe not unthinkable since you are...
Orthopedics Consults Infectious Diseases for Potential Computer Virus
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Dr. Joseph Dell of Orthopedic Surgery was hoping it would be a calm day; no surgeries were scheduled and his...
New Helmet for Spleen Allows Mononucleosis Patients to Play Contact Sports
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Athletes afflicted with infectious mononucleosis, a disease caused by the Epstein-Barr virus and sometimes marked by splenomegaly, will soon be able to...