Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...
Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns
INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...
Breaking News: Ah Crap, You-Know-Who is Back in the ER
YOUR HOSPITAL, YOUR CITY, YOUR STATE - Ah, crap. GomerBlog is sad to report… GomerBlog really doesn’t want to tell you this. But we feel...
Cardiologist Validates ‘Time to Burrito Consumption’ as Reasonable Cardiac Risk Stratification Tool
MOBILE, AL - Local cardiologist Dr. Mona Bee has just published a brand new risk stratification tool for coronary artery disease and her patients...
New ACTH Stim Test Measures Serum Cortisol Every Minute
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Today new guidelines released by the Endocrine Society (ES) encourage modification of the standard high-dose ACTH stimulation test with measurement of...
Powerful New Hand Dryer Can Dry, Detach Hands in 8 Seconds
EAST LONGMEADOW, MA - Manufacturer of XLERATOR hand dryers, Excel Dryer, has announced that it has produced their most powerful hand dryer yet, called...
Heavy Metal Now First Line in Treatment of Symptomatic Bradycardia
DALLAS, TX - New advanced cardiac life support (ACLS) guidelines from the American Heart Association (AHA) now recommends heavy metal as the first line...
After Hearing a Patient is in 11/10 Pain Doctor Orders the “Good Stuff”
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “11/10 pain?!?!” Dr. Zimban, an ER physician, proclaimed in astonishment. “Wow that is off the scale, I just can’t believe...
Psychiatry Consulted to Determine if Lungs Have Capacity
BOSTON, MA - In an unusual move yesterday at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MGLH), a medical team has consulted psychiatry to determine if their...
Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope
ABSTRACT
Given the increased proliferation of multidrug resistant (MDR) microorganisms, it is considered standard of care to use patient-dedicated, disposable, or “crappy” stethoscopes to prevent...