Internal Medicine

checks and balances

Doctors and Nurses Form ‘The Gigantic Commission’ to Accredit The Joint Commission

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SAN DIEGO, CA - With recent concerns over the credentials of employees of The Joint Commission (JC), doctors and nurses have formed a separate regulating...
hospital scrub sizes

Color-Coded Scrub Ties Lead to Epidemic of ‘Scrub Shaming’

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NASHVILLE, TN - Neurologist Dr. Allison Terazzoni glides through the hallways of Vanderbilt invisibly, staring at the ground, praying to go unnoticed, her white...

Trump Tweets About More Medical Specialties

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President Trump has gone back to Twitter to tweet about some of the specialties he forgot in his first tweetstorm! ...
epidural middle economy Trendelenburg

United Airlines Introduces Seats That Go Into Trendelenburg

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CHICAGO, IL - Seeking new ways to remain controversial and constantly in the news, United Airlines has announced it is has replaced passenger seats...
michelle and medical student

Breaking: Med Student Plagiarized Michelle Obama in Recent Consult Note

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Reports out of Mercy Hospital indicate that 4th year medical student Adam Hunter has blatantly plagiarized Michelle Obama’s 2008 democratic convention speech in a...
single ply toilet paper

Emergency Room Switch to Single-Ply Toilet Paper Reduces Unnecessary Gastro Admissions by 60%

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MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - A major tertiary emergency department in Melbourne recently conducted a trial of single-ply toilet paper across all bathrooms and found a...

Military Doctors Petrified if Motrin Found to Worsen Coronavirus

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Military physicians are on the edge of their seats after an opinion article out of France mentioned that NSAIDs may worsen Coronavirus infections. Extreme...

Orthopaedic Surgeons Attempting to “Re-learn” ICU Things 🤦‍♂️

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San Diego, CA - In light of the ongoing COVID19 Pandemic, physicians of all walks of life are preparing to be called upon to...
doctor patient

Breaking: Patient States His Medical History Should “All be in the Computer”

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CHARLESTON, SC - Breaking News emerged today out of South Carolina’s Emergency Department of Save Us All Memorial Hospital (SUAMH). A 57-year-old patient arrived...
bladder trial voiding

Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding

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ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order...