No Hospice Just Yet: Federer Ekes by Father Time 4-6, 6-2, 6-1, 1-6, 6-4
FLUSHING, NY - Roger Federer pulled through last night in his opening match against Father Time, surviving in thrilling fashion 4-6, 6-2, 6-1, 1-6, 6-4. ...
Medical Student Struggles to Stay Awake During Radiology Rotation
OMAHA, NE - Despite doubling up on his morning coffee, medical student Brad Haverford has found it exceedingly difficult to stay awake during his fourth-year...
Tired Medicine Resident Writes 1 Progress Note About 15 Patients
BALTIMORE, MD - A third-year medicine resident at Johns Hopkins University, Geno Smulison, completely exhausted from a busy inpatient teaching service this month and...
Covid-19 Prevention: New AICD Delivers Shock Whenever You Touch Your Face
VOLTAGE, OR—In what can only be described as “shocking” news, the FDA recently approved a novel implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that not only senses dangerous arrhythmias...
As Tour Winds Down, Epo Shortage Ends
FRANCE - The Tour de France ends July 21st and nephrologist Dr. Ron Goldman couldn't be happier. He told reporters, "The Tour couldn't have ended...
Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It
BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV...
Song of the Diverticulite (Morphine on High at 3am)
All the bickering of which is best
The song, the canvass, the word, the marbled stone,
The rest
Pittance such luxury
Lacking any test
Pittance yes!
Void of existential quest
Ver-Sed,...
Internal Medicine Certification Exam to Test Fewer Zebras, More Unicorns
PHILADELPHIA, PA – The American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) has just announced a shift in curriculum focus for the Internal Medicine Certification Exam...
Pulmonary Team Hypoxic After Climbing Seven Flights of Stairs
NEW YORK, NY - A pulmonary team at New York Medical Center (NYMC) narrowly avoided an overnight ICU stay for BIPAP or ventilator support...