All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!
ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the...
Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy
BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...
Bee Sting Therapy Administered Despite Bee Sting Allergy Clearly Documented by Nursing
AUSTIN, TX - In what has been called a severe and disturbing patient safety lapse at Fort Collins General Hospital, a local man was...
Breaking News: Scientists Almost Know What the ‘V’ in COVID Stands For
TULSA, OK- In a major update in the race for a vaccine for COVID-19, we have learned of a promising development from the scientific...
Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
SAN ANTONIO, TX - Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today...
Optimistic, Bright-Eyed Med Students Eager to Transform into Jaded, Burned-Out Physicians
ATLANTA, GA - Like a caterpillar ready to mature into a beautiful butterfly, bright-eyed graduating medical students across the nation are eager to begin...
Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...
Hospital Employees Organize Christmas Strike After Festivus Snub
NEW YORK, NY - Workers at the Newman Medical Center in Queens, NY have organized a Christmas Day strike after hospital administration failed to...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Colon Loses It, Screams “OK, EVERYBODY OUT!”
BELLY, HUMAN - Bowel uncharacteristically threw everyone out yesterday after a Mexican named Burrito arrived, according to Stomach. "I've always thought Colon was an...