Internal Medicine

curves Frank Starling

ACC/AHA: Check Out the Curves on Dr. Frank, Dr. Starling!!

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Cardiology (ACC) & American Heart Association (AHA) have issued a joint statement, telling people to look over...
dyspnea

FDA Approves FUROSESONEROLAQUINOX for Undifferentiated Dyspnea

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - To the delight of emergency physicians across the country, the Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of a new drug...
kentucky derby

Kentucky Derby Will Include a Hospital Specialty ‘Race for the Roses’ at Churchill Downs

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LOUISVILLE, KY - With the Kentucky Derby just around the corner, excitement is mounting for all the festivities and races.  Many of the races...

ER Refuses to End Hospital Shutdown Until IM Agrees to Admit All Drunks

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NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center has shut down the hospital after negotiations between the Emergency Room (ER) and Internal Medicine (IM) failed...
head lice

Recurrent Lice Outbreaks Have ID Specialists Scratching Their Heads

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“This has to be the worst year we’ve ever seen for headlice,” Dr. Raj Sasikumar said, digging the nails of his left hand into...

Headlines from the Week in Medical News

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ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process. AKRON, OH -...
perplexed doctor

Intern Determined Not to Have Medical Decision-Making Capacity

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ANN ARBOR, MI - For several days medical intern Brent Hammock appeared very confused.  He had lucid moments now and again, but he was...

Revolutionary New Antibiotic Has No Drug Interactions

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The pharmaceutical company PharmaWow has just released its latest drug, an antibiotic which they claim will not interact with anything. In response to the growing...
joint commission

Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
medical zodiac

The 12 Symptoms of the Medical Zodiac‏

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Do you remember your constellations, in particular the 12 symptoms of the medical zodiac?  Bust out your telescopes, find your closest clear night sky,...