Internal Medicine

sick patient

Emergency Medicine Attending Fails to Admit Old Man, Resigns

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BLOOMINGTON, IN - Emergency medicine attending, Dr. Howard Rugers, announced his retirement yesterday after failing to find reason for admission for 95-year-old Herschel Levenstein,...

EMR Developers Shocked to Learn How Their Software is Actually Used

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Several developers of widely-used electronic medical record (EMR) software were invited out of their cubicles last week for a much-hyped tour of the real-world...
PICU nurse

PICU Nurse Enjoys Changing Patient Parameters and Drips Right Before Interns Present Patients on...

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SEATTLE, WA - In an exclusive interview with Nursing magazine, Martha Stevens, a prominent pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) nurse at Children’s Hospital admitted that...

Covid and Cambria North American Tour Kicks Off with a Bang!

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The new sensation that's sweeping the nation!

CDC Now Recommends Using Baby Diapers for PPE

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control has issued a statement recommending that doctors and nurses should now use baby diapers for PPE....

In Bid to Cut Costs, Hospital Creates New Multi-Organ System Failure Medical Clinic

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DENVER, CO – With expenses spiraling out of control and a budget in the red for the past year, officials at Denver Regional Medical...
Magic 8-Ball

Teaching Team Consults Magic 8-Ball for Assistance

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NEW YORK, NY - "Will my patient need placement?" intern Jamie Dreessen asked the Magic 8-Ball, shaking it solidly for 15-seconds before placing it on...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
walking

Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...