ICU Hires Wardrobe Consultants to Help With Donning and Doffing of Contact Gowns, Compliance...
WEST JERSEY, UK - Around 90% of the patients in the ICU's at West Jersey Regional Medical Center were on contact precautions last fiscal...
Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines
NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU. Thankfully he...
Game of Thrones Pain Scale
Are you like me and tired of giving the same old boring explanation of the 0-10 pain scale? Spice it up by using the...
Ancient Aliens Take Over Electronic Medical Records
GROOM LAKE, NV - Why does your electronic medical record (EMR) function sooooo poorly? Are ignorance, negligence, and terrible design the answer? Can intrusive government...
Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship
LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...
On-Call Doctor Celebrates Birthday with 17 of His Closest Patients
CHICAGO, IL - Absolutely convinced that there was no better way to spend this special day, on-call internal medicine physician Jack Romeo celebrated his 34th birthday with 17 of...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet
NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he...
Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart
THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....
Sicker Patients Benefit from Reduced Medical Attention
It has been clearly documented that patients requiring multiple blood transfusions have poorer outcomes than patients who are not bleeding and hence have fewer...
What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA
ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply...