Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t
COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out...
Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit
DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%. Bowers...
Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools
LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...
Medical Student at Home Gets Thanked for Helping Fight Coronavirus
At 9am Tuesday morning, medical student Colin G was making coffee in his PJ’s when he received a text from his Aunt Jan.
“Hi Colin,...
Today’s Allerlogical Forecast
Aries: Have you been thinking about peanuts, Aries? If so, there are likely peanuts in your future. But you won't even touch them, because...
Clinic Patient Brings Meds in McDonald’s Bag, Must Be Compliant
NEW YORK, NY - At 8:35 AM this morning, patient Philip Kruger showed up to his primary care clinic appointment with his medications stuffed...
FDA Bans Any Narcotic with the Letter ‘D’ In It
ATLANTA, GA - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) finally came to its senses today by agreeing to ban any narcotic that contains the...
ECG Tech Rejoices: ECG Ordered as ‘Routine’
DURHAM, NC - ECG (electrocardiogram) tech Joy Foreman rejoiced as she came upon a true rarity today when it comes to the world of diagnostic...
An Internist’s Guide to STAT Overnight Pages
At 7:30pm: So what’s the discharge plan for this patient?
Follow up: Remind the nurse that you’re the overnight resident and haven’t been attending case...
Thyroid Diagnosis Remains Elusive Despite Long List of Nonspecific Symptoms
CINCINNATI, OH - Ohio resident Tracy Murphy is preparing to seek a third medical opinion about her thyroid condition that remains undiagnosed.
“It all started...