Internal Medicine

ID Clinic Handing Out Free Chastity Belts

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - An infectious diseases clinic is thinking outside the box in an effort to promote safe sex practices by passing out free...

Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System

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NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
herd of zebras

Internist Trampled to Death by Herd of Wild Zebras

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Sad news today as a local internal medicine physician was trampled to death by a herd of wild zebras while...
rash, maculopapular

Dermatologist’s Ears Bleed While Internist Describes Rash

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NEW YORK, NY - Dermatologist Felicia Randolph was fielding a consult from an internal medicine colleague Martin Ortiz, when halfway through the horrid attempt...
fantasy medicine

Fantasy Medicine: Who’s Hot, Who’s Not

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Before July 1, many of this year’s rookie class were considered average at best and were rarely selected in any rounds of fantasy leagues...

Massachusetts ICU Nurse Wins Powerball, Uses Patient’s Vital Signs as Lucky Numbers

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CAMBRIDGE, MA - Local ICU nurse Debbie Watson called in rich this morning after winning the historic Powerball. When nobody claimed a the Powerball winnings...
pumpkin spice

Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve...
woman gives up facebook

Local Woman Gives Up Facebook, Misses Post on Cure for Her Disease

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PHOENIX, AZ - On the first of the month Katie Brunswick posted on her Facebook page that she was "giving up Facebook" for the month...
cbc

CBC To Be Replaced By Cheaper Incomplete Blood Count

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NASHVILLE, TN - Looking to save a few dollars here and there in order to hire more hospital administrators, leadership at Nashville Medical Center (NMC) will...
screaming in ED

ED Study Links Volume of Screaming to Patient’s Level of Pain

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SAN ANTONIO, TX - In a landmark study published in this month's Annals of Emergency Medicine, researchers from an emergency department in Sarasota, Florida have found evidence...