FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
Colonoscopes Replaced by Plastic Reachers from Home Depot
CHICAGO, IL - Hospital administrators are looking to tighten the pursestrings some more as they look to replace colonoscopes with plastic reachers & grabbers...
Intern Excited to Take Care of Cobra Kai, Because They Never Die
SAN DIEGO, CA - Herb Swanson has started his internship year off on a bad foot. "I had 3 patients die on me in...
Profits Soar After Area Hospital Opens ‘All You Can Eat/Shoot Narcotics Buffet’
In response to poor HCHAPS scores and declining revenue, St John’s in the Valley has become the first hospital in the nation to trial...
Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...
THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...
Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications.
"We plan...
Patient Undergoes Successful Prophylactic Cardiac Resection
NASHVILLE, TN - A patient has undergone successful prophylactic cardiac resection at Nashville Medical Center today in a “very proactive effort" to mitigate any...
Wildly-Inaccurate Operative Note Inspires New Approach to Gastric Bypass
Gastrointestinal surgeon Perry Rush discovered a wildly-inaccurate post operative note in a patient chart last month that has become inspiration for a radical new...
Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
The Michael Jordan of Interns Retires After Curing His 6th Patient
CLEVELAND, OH - We all know Dr. Mark Jeffries by now. He is the Michael Jordan of interns. Setting records by storm, Jeffries has set the...