Thursday, July 21, 2022

Internal Medicine

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be a major source of morbidity and mortality in the United...
ambulance

Update: AHA Addends Recommended 90-Minute Door-to-Balloon Time for MI to Allow Cath Team 3...

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SAN DIEGO, CA—For the cardiac catheterization team at San Diego General Hospital, compliance with the 90-minute door-to-balloon time metric for STEMI patients is a significant source of stress and anxiety. Thus, team members enthusiastically...

Patient Boldly Quits Smoking Day Before Surgery

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CINCINNATI, OH – Local resident Charles Shoemaker has decided to stop smoking the day before his total knee replacement.  "I’ve heard there are many adverse complications with people who smoke, so I have decided...
transporting patient

ICU Admits Patient to ED

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BUFFALO, NY - In a stunning turn of events last night at Sacrebleu Memorial Hospital, Pulmonary & Critical Care fellow Damien Dunlope earned headlines by forever changing the often-stressed ED/ICU dynamic. According to witnesses, it...

It’s About Damn Time: Cup of Coffee Awarded Nobel Prize in Medicine

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NEW YORK, NY - There was a big surprise earlier this week when a cup of coffee was announced as the winner of the 2017 Nobel Prize in Medicine.  This is the caffeinated beverage’s first...
hospitalist place

Hospitalists Aim to Place All Americans by 2020

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced a new multibillion-dollar PBP initiative, which stands for "Place, Baby, Place!", with the ultimate goal of placing all 300 million Americans in nursing...

Patient Elated to Get Terminal Diagnosis Days After Election

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DENVER, CO - Jason Jerry, age 25, of Colorado sat in his oncologist’s office today and received perceivably the best news he could imagine.  His diagnosis is terminal and doctors say he has less...
RT coffee

Amazing Respiratory Therapist Performs ABG with One Hand, Drinks Coffee with Other

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ATLANTA, GA - In a dazzling display of true skill, Georgia Medical Center respiratory therapist (RT) Chris Gilbert not only managed to obtain an ABG from a difficult stick and critically-ill ICU patient this...

Doctors May Qualify for Law Degree After Completing HIPAA and EMTALA Compliance Training

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A report by the Institute of Legal Education states that doctors are likely eligible for a Juris Doctorate degree after completing mandatory training for HIPAA and EMTALA compliance. According to Jay Braslow, president of the...
easter egg hunt human orifices

Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt

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BALDWIN, NY - The Easter Dilaudid Hunt at Baldwin Medical Center (BMC) is going all out.  This weekend, 30,000 drug seekers are expected to show up for a chance to find 1 of 5...