Internal Medicine

Doctors May Qualify for Law Degree After Completing HIPAA and EMTALA Compliance Training

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A report by the Institute of Legal Education states that doctors are likely eligible for a Juris Doctorate degree after completing mandatory training for...
pooh

Winnie Can’t Pooh, Needs Surgical Intervention

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SUSSEX, ENGLAND - In breaking news, Winnie the Pooh can't pooh and is in fact obstructed, necessitating surgical intervention.  "Oh, D-D-Dear!" cried Piglet.  "I...
doctor in er

Modified DEA License Allows Healthcare Practitioners to Not Prescribe Dilaudid

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a brilliant collaboration by the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) and nearly every medical professional organization in the United States, health...
chloraprep

Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion Due To ChloraPrep From Last Plastic Surgery

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WASHINGTON, D.C - The U.S. Surgeon General accidentally revealed in a recent interview that President Trump’s skin tone is actually a normal shade of...
colonoscopy

Hamburglar Diagnosed with Colon Cancer

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MCDONALDLAND - In sad news today, the Hamburglar, who amused children for years with his antics and unstoppable desire for hamburgers, was diagnosed with...
Appointment shot clock

Clinic Installs Shot Clock Buzzer To Mark End Of Appointment Slot

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BOCA RATON, FL - In a groundbreaking move which could foster improved patient flow across the country, Madre De Díos Clinic spokeswoman Chlöe Less...
medical pager

Pages We Love to Get at Any Point During the Day

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These are probably the best pages any health care professional can ask for! "We're building forts out of drapes, wanna join?! - Anesthesia, OR 4" "Go...
Gerbil bowel prep tsunami

Gerbil in Colon Nervously Awaits Bowel Prep Tsunami

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SOME DUDE'S COLON - Gerald the Gerbil just received the bad news that his whereabouts have been discovered, and now he nervously awaits the...
hipster beard super bacteria

Super Bacteria Found In Hipster’s Beard, Also Has Beard

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WILLIAMSBURG, NY - A local area hospital recently broke the news that a highly drug-resistant bacterial species was isolated from a man’s beard. The...

Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies

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VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies,...