Internal Medicine

The Difference Between a Medicine Service and a Garbage Dump

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Today we explore a new set of entities that often get mistaken for one another: a garbage dump and a medicine service.  Let's begin!!! A...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Quarantines Jenny McCarthy

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ATLANTA, GA -- Due to the severe flu outbreak this season, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has decided to examine the...

ABIM Rewrites Board Exam: All Questions Now Covid-19-Related

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PHILADELPHIA, PA—Recognizing that no other diseases matter anymore, the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) is rewriting its entire 2020 exam so that every...
confused gluten

Formerly Gluten-Sensitive Patient Now Claims Evidence Insensitivity

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NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain.  The New York native,...
va hospital

Local Veterans Affairs Hospital to Merge with DMV

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to improve efficiency and patient satisfaction, a local Veteran's Affairs (VA) Hospital has announced it will merge with...

Burned Out Primary Care Doctor’s Job Satisfaction Soars through the Roof Through “Mindfulness”

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In her 11th year working in primary care, Dr. Stacey Canootskin started to notice feelings of irritability, depersonalization, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and cynicism. Clicking...

Texas Ebola Doctor: ‘Nurse, I’ll Be Right Behind You’

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DALLAS, TX - Reports are coming in that during the care of the Liberian Ebola victim, the lead physician told his nurse: "Let's go into...
necktie colonized tarantulas

Doctor’s Necktie Colonized with MRSA, Tarantulas, Ticks, Mosquitoes

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PORTLAND, ME - Internist Dr. Jeffrey Redd thinks it "unprofessional not to wear a tie" even despite the feedback from multiple patients, families, nurses,...

Spa Offers ‘Ultimate Relaxation’ With 55-Minute Carotid Sinus Massage

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SANTA FE, MN - For guests who want to experience the ultimate in relaxation, the spa at the Inn of the Four Extremities is...

Medicine Team ‘Forgets’ to Round on Patient on Psychiatry Ward

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Dr. Karen Turner, chief medical resident at Fallbrook Hospital, led her team on morning rounds yesterday throughout the hospital.  Intern, Dr. Jeremy...