Internal Medicine

dialysis machine ATM machine

Nephrologists Propose Getting Rid of Sunday to Fit Dialysis Schedule Better

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WASHINGTON, DC—Most people enjoy their Sundays—a day off to relax, enjoy a boozy brunch with friends, watch football—but for hemodialysis patients and the nephrologists...
acid-base disorders

Study Concludes That Anyone Who Understands Acid-Base is a Big, Fat Liar

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark study in the latest issue of the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) concluded "beyond a shadow of a...
radiologist reading

Radiologist Recommends Against Clinical Correlation

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Radiologist Dr. Rachel Mondusa, while reading an abdominal CT scan, actually recommended against clinical correlation.  A standard dictation line stated at...

Patient With No Past Medical History Has Sternotomy Scar, Central Line, G-tube

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An area emergency room physician was stunned today when his patient, a 4 year old boy whose parents denied any medical history, was found...

Miley Cyrus Undergoing Evaluation for Myoclonic Twerks

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ROCHESTER, MN - American singer and actress Miley Cyrus has told Gomerblog that she has experienced worsening myoclonic twerks over the past several months...

Tragedy as Strong Gust of Wind Kills Hundreds of Umbrellas

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CHICAGO, IL - Tragedy struck the Illinois metropolis today as a light drizzle suddenly gave way to a surprisingly strong fifteen-second gust of wind off...
hoverboard injuries

After-Christmas Special: Buy a Hoverboard, Get a Free Visit to the ED

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Emergency departments all across the globe are swamped in what can only be deemed as the best deal in holiday history.  Thousands of men,...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only...
yiddish medical

Yiddish to Be Introduced Into Official Medical Terminology

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Language Council of Hospitals and Institutions of Medicine (LCHAIM) announced yesterday that a number of commonly used Yiddish terms have...
confused gluten

Formerly Gluten-Sensitive Patient Now Claims Evidence Insensitivity

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NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain.  The New York native,...