Octogenarian Ejected in Grisly Power-Chair Accident
BRADENTON, FL - The dining room at Shady Village Retirement Center was a hellish scene of twisted metal, blood, sinew, and mashed potatoes last week, as...
Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All
BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...
Three Wise Monkeys Support CDC Opioid Guidelines: ‘See No Dilaudid, Hear No Dilaudid, Speak...
NIKKO, JAPAN - For the first time in centuries, the three wise monkeys have spoken. In an exclusive and brief statement to GomerBlog, the...
Groundbreaking: Patient Placed on Gaseous Diet
LOS ANGELES, CA - Hoping this can provide critical nourishment for someone with severe dysphagia to both solids and liquids instead of defaulting to...
FDA Approves FUROSESONEROLAQUINOX for Undifferentiated Dyspnea
WASHINGTON, D.C. - To the delight of emergency physicians across the country, the Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of a new drug...
Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year
ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...
Nursing Home STDs on the Rise, and I Just Threw Up a Little in...
ATHENS, GA - "Simply disgusting," was one man’s response to hearing about nursing home sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) on the rise. "A little warning, next...
CDC decides to put all of New York on a ventilator
NYC, New York - The recent coronavirus outbreak has devastated New York City to say the least. Their infection rate almost out numbers the...
“Hospital Sounds” Debuts at #1 on Billboard Music Charts
NEW YORK, NY - The music industry was stunned this week to find out that Hospital Sounds: The Sounds of the Hospital, an album...
Meet CrossSh*t, The High-Intensity Bowel Program
SANTA CRUZ, CA - The founders of CrossFit Greg Glassman and Lauren Jenai have announced the creation of a new strength and conditioning program to...