Non-Physician Hospitals, The WebMD and Wikipedia Clinic, to Open in 5 Major Cities
BOSTON, MA - In a response to rampant poor patient satisfaction scores and an overall demand of patients for more autonomy in their care,...
Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...
New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open
CHICAGO, IL - Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish construction shortly on a new state of the art hotel,...
Man with Frog in Throat Also Has Tadpoles in Scrotum
HICKORY, NC - Jerry Thompson has been dealing with a hoarse voice over the past week, something not uncommon as temperatures cool with the...
Medical Device Company to Debut Sitbit
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Medical device company Pulsa Tech is unveiling the new Sitbit this week. Similar to its popular predecessor the Fitbit and Sh*tbit,...
Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter
SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving. 87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one...
Mandatory Hospital Staff Meeting to Improve Morale Fails to Improve Morale
COLUMBIA, SC - ED Staff at Our Lady of Gluten Intolerance Hospital (OLGIH) finished yet another required but uncompensated hospital staff meeting last week...
Food Truck Entrepreneur Now Providing Endoscopies
OUTSIDE METROPOLITAN HEALTH SYSTEM - Let's face it, hospital cafeteria food is hideous, even when it's labeled correctly. That's why people in scrubs line up...
Octogenarian Ejected in Grisly Power-Chair Accident
BRADENTON, FL - The dining room at Shady Village Retirement Center was a hellish scene of twisted metal, blood, sinew, and mashed potatoes last week, as...
Natural Dilaudid Spring Discovered in Alps; Drug Seekers Scramble for Climbing Gear, Airline Tickets
GRINDELWALD, SWITZERLAND - A quaint Swiss town is experiencing the first wave of what is sure to be an epic boom in tourism this...