Internal Medicine

ChooseMyPlate.gov Updates Plate Portions for Nurses, Docs

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WASHINGTON, DC - The USDA website ChooseMyPlate.gov has updated its plate for all hospital personnel to remind them that while finding your healthy eating...

Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University.  "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours...
hospital coupons

Hospital Coupons for Upcoming Black Friday Sale

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With insurance companies tightening up their wallets and competition for patients heating up with the cross town rival, Kind Humanitarian Hospital Administrators had to...
davinci code

DaVinci Code Solved by Doctors Searching Through ICD-10‏

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Stored in argon-filled glass booths guarded over by monks in the cavernous secret library below the Center for Medicare Services, exist a series of...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

Patient Admitted with Life-Threatening Butthurt Exacerbation

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CHICAGO, IL - "Move people, this guy's crashing!" EMTs yelled, asking everyone to get out of their way as they aggressively carried 33-year-old Alexander...
Hospicillin

FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
patient satisfaction flag

Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...

Internist Able to Hear Heart Sounds Using Disposable Stethoscope

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CHICAGO, IL – In what is believed to have been a first, Dr. Dick Andersen legitimately heard heart sounds using a disposable “MRSA stethoscope”...
respiratory system secedes capacity

Respiratory System Secedes, Declares Independence from Human Body

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THE HUMAN BODY - In a stunning development that will inevitably alter the balance of power within us all, the respiratory system has successfully...

Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie

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On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic.  This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...