Internal Medicine

Want to Throw the Kitchen Sink at Your Patient? It Now Comes in IV...

0
PARAMUS, NJ - Leaky Ivy Pharmaceuticals announced that the increasingly popular Kitchen Sink will now be available in an IV form. Reported Dr. Remy...
palliative care, fortune cookies

Pre-Consult Fortune Cookies Make Palliative Care Team’s Job Easier

0
VALHALLA, NY - Fortune cookies with hospital meals?  That’s what the palliative care team at Rainbow Valhalla University Hospital (RVU) is doing before formal...

Massachusetts ICU Nurse Wins Powerball, Uses Patient’s Vital Signs as Lucky Numbers

0
CAMBRIDGE, MA - Local ICU nurse Debbie Watson called in rich this morning after winning the historic Powerball. When nobody claimed a the Powerball winnings...

Studies Suggest Afternoon Rounding is More About Staff Head Count Than Patient Care

0
“It’s 2 o’clock. Can we check-in with everyone now?” The Case Manager huddles with the Charge Nurse as he calls for the nurses. While studies...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

34
COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...

Spare Anesthesia Machine Makes Slushies

4
SANTE FE, NM - Dr. Brad Jacks suspected it for months.  Anesthesia personnel would leave for a break in the middle of a quick ear...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Three-Sentence Discharge Summary For Six-Month Hospitalization

88
ROME, GA - Doctors and hospital administrators are lauding what has been called a "breakthrough in succinctness," as a patient discharged after six months in...
angry man

Tips: How to Manage Your Pent-Up, Work-Related Rage

29
Many jobs, in particular ones involving working at the hospital, have a certain way of… how do you say… taking you there.  One of the...

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

0
ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...

Middle School Dance Put on Contact Precautions

0
Following the shocking display of "grinding" at last Fall's Homecoming dance, local Gandy Middle School PTA President, Karen Sterling, pushed to prophylactically put the...