Doctors and Nurses Form ‘The Gigantic Commission’ to Accredit The Joint Commission
SAN DIEGO, CA - With recent concerns over the credentials of employees of The Joint Commission (JC), doctors and nurses have formed a separate regulating...
Tips: How to Treat a Pager That Keeps Going Off Like It Has Seizures
Sadly, despite all the technological advances we've made, a good portion of health care professionals still carry an object as archaic and arguably less...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Hospitalists Panic, Ortho Continues Home Medications Without Consultation
KEARNEY, NE - The wave of worry spread quickly across the hospitalist community after Dr. Zimmer Strykerton, a local orthopedist, not only admitted a...
Internist Creates Last Written SOAP Note: A Masterpiece for the Ages
STONY BROOK, NY - On the eve of the Good Samaritan Hospital's final conversion to an all electronic medical record, local internal medicine legend,...
Breaking: Numerical BMI to be Replaced by Pass/Fail
Atlanta, Georgia - In a surprise announcement that has stunned medical professionals across the country, the Centers for Disease Control has announced that BMI...
Confused Michael Flynn Requests Immunity from CDC, Immunizations from Senate Intelligence Committee
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Several health care and congressional sources have informed Gomerblog that they believe former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is very confused and perhaps altered,...
The Scourge of Troponipenia
MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, FL - Hospitalists are going crazy about the pandemic of normal troponins in Miami-Dade. Jose Fernandez-Rodriguez-Hernandez-Alonso, MD -- “Mrs. Garcia, presented with...
EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens
WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
New STOP ACLS Algorithm Proven to Reduce Hospital Costs and Readmissions
JOPLIN, MO - New ACLS guidelines have been published that are anticipated to completely revolutionize the care given to patients in cardiac arrest. "The...