Updated 2016 Hospital Crash Cart Recommendations
ATLANTA, GA - The crash cart is indispensable during cardiopulmonary arrest. However, their contents are not standardized. In a much needed remedy to this...
ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids
ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking...
American Association of Doctors Considers Offering MD Degree to Anyone With a Smartphone
CHICAGO, IL - Citing new evidence that most medical questions can be answered quickly, and occasionally accurately, online, a major physician-accrediting body is considering...
Miss Management Crowned Miss Universal Healthcare
BOSTON, MA - Miss Management of Hospital Administration has been crowned Miss Universal Healthcare, beating out Miss Hap of General Surgery, Miss Understanding of...
Exercise ‘Can Be As Good As Pills’
Exercise can be as good a medicine as pills for people with conditions such as heart disease, a study has found. The work in the...
Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually
BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops. This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern,...
Area Lactose-Intolerant Holistic Practitioner Has Severe Lactic Acidosis
SEPSIS BUNDLE HOSPITAL, CO - Area holistic practitioner Suzi Budzinsky-Donnitz-Sham-Meyers CPA, PhD, RN was unfortunately hospitalized today. While she has been severely lactose intolerant for...
Emergency Medicine Attending Fails to Admit Old Man, Resigns
BLOOMINGTON, IN - Emergency medicine attending, Dr. Howard Rugers, announced his retirement yesterday after failing to find reason for admission for 95-year-old Herschel Levenstein,...
Malpractice Attorney Says Nightly Prayer for More Medical Errors, Deaths
MEMPHIS, TN - Mark Edmunds, JD, a local medical malpractice attorney, is proud to be a caring father, a giving person, and a devout Christian. He...
Dilaudid & Morphine Shortage Prompts Pharmacy to Switch to Heroin PCA Pumps
SMITHVILLE, AR - The ongoing rise in demand for opiate medications, combined with limited supply of intravenous narcotics has left physicians, nurses, and pharmacists...