Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
Study: Anticoagulation Initiation Instantly Increases Your Fall Risk
BOCA RATON, FL - Finally proving what most doctors already have suspected for decades, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram presented his research data which demonstrated the direct causative...
New Updated Hippacratic Oath for 2019
I swear by ICD-10 the Code, by Epiclepius the Record Keeper, by Hygienia in Good Hands, by Pancreas, by WebMD, by Twitter, by Facebook,...
Psychiatry Consulted to Determine if Lungs Have Capacity
BOSTON, MA - In an unusual move yesterday at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MGLH), a medical team has consulted psychiatry to determine if their...
Powerful New Hand Dryer Can Dry, Detach Hands in 8 Seconds
EAST LONGMEADOW, MA - Manufacturer of XLERATOR hand dryers, Excel Dryer, has announced that it has produced their most powerful hand dryer yet, called...
CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...
Healthcare Worker on Dumb Family Member Violence Increases by 86% in Recent Months
Starting in March 2020, an alarming trend has been noted across all police precincts in the United States. Healthcare workers have been committing violent...
Google Medical Center Opens
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - The brand new Google Medical Center opened its doors to patients this summer. The gleaming complex is a first of...
Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube
MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening. Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts."
At first he was...
A Pharmacist’s Nightmare: A Drug Seeker & Their Excuses
We all know that pharmacists and pharmacy technicians are on the front lines when it comes to drug-seeking patients. Somehow they can hold it...