Ancient Aliens Take Over Electronic Medical Records
GROOM LAKE, NV - Why does your electronic medical record (EMR) function sooooo poorly? Are ignorance, negligence, and terrible design the answer? Can intrusive government...
Winnie Can’t Pooh, Needs Surgical Intervention
SUSSEX, ENGLAND - In breaking news, Winnie the Pooh can't pooh and is in fact obstructed, necessitating surgical intervention. "Oh, D-D-Dear!" cried Piglet. "I...
Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040
WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...
ID Clinic Handing Out Free Chastity Belts
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - An infectious diseases clinic is thinking outside the box in an effort to promote safe sex practices by passing out free...
Out of Mediums, Brave Nurse Grabs Small Gloves & Throws Caution to the Wind
RALEIGH, NC - It's one of the those scary scenarios every health care professional has faced at one time or another in their medical...
Family Who Changed Your Diapers Will Never Listen To Your Medical Advice
BOCA RATON, FL -- A new study has revealed results which come as absolutely no surprise to anybody who works in healthcare: 100% of...
Alternative Blood Bank Offers Homeopathic Blood Products
PORTLAND, OR - More and more primary care physicians have been embracing the curative powers of alternative medicine in their practice. Unfortunately, few options...
Song of the Diverticulite (Morphine on High at 3am)
All the bickering of which is best
The song, the canvass, the word, the marbled stone,
The rest
Pittance such luxury
Lacking any test
Pittance yes!
Void of existential quest
Ver-Sed,...
Patient Looks Forward to Getting Admitted & Refusing Everything a Hospital Can Offer
ATLANTA, GA - For the third time this month and tenth time this year, Jason Reynolds, a 54-year-old male with epic levels of noncompliance,...