HHS to Add Capital Punishment to Possible Penalties for HIPAA Violation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In sweeping reversal of previous legislation, Health and Human Services (HHS) announced stronger punishments for violations of the Health Insurance Portability...
Dr. Seuss Wrote a Progress Note: The Dung in the Lung
LA JOLLA, CA—After rounding on his patient, the incomparable Dr. Seuss entered the following progress note into Mr. Scott Hess’s chart:
I confess I just...
Nation’s Arteries Brace for Impact of Chipotle’s New Queso
SACRAMENTO, CA – Speaking at a press conference last Saturday, a local left renal artery expressed “grave concern” amongst itself and the billions of...
HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the...
Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’
ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription...
Secret Location of Nurse Float Pool Discovered, Drained
BREAKING NEWS - For years large hospitals have used nurse float pools - a team of nurses able to work in multiple specialties and units...
After 14 Years of Medical Training, MD/PhD Still Unsure of Career Path
HOUSTON, TX - Despite 4 years of medical school, 3 years of PhD training, 5 years of child neurology residency, 1 year of clinical...
Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
Patient Looks Forward to Getting Admitted & Refusing Everything a Hospital Can Offer
ATLANTA, GA - For the third time this month and tenth time this year, Jason Reynolds, a 54-year-old male with epic levels of noncompliance,...
Breaking: Consultant Called for Non-Urgent Consult at Reasonable Hour
NASHVILLE, TN - First-year infectious diseases fellow Lena Burke burst into tears of joy when in the rarest of occurrences - certainly the first...