Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!
The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients.
An objective rating...
Pharmacist Struggling to Calculate Dinner Tip
OCEANSIDE, NY - Inpatient pharmacist Mark Donato, beloved and trusted by his fellow physicians and other medical providers for being able to “dose anything,”...
Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’
BOCA RATON, FL - Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the...
Sweet Little Old Lady Has Impressive Vocabulary of Profanity
ATLANTA, GA - 94-year-old and 96-lb. Annabelle Rivers is as sweet and tiny as they come. She always has her makeup done right first...
Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis
DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...
CDC announces that 100% of the world’s population will be over 65 by 2050.
Yesterday in a stunning revelation, the CDC released a report which predicts that by the year 2050 the entire global population will be over...
Patient Boldly Quits Smoking Day Before Surgery
CINCINNATI, OH – Local resident Charles Shoemaker has decided to stop smoking the day before his total knee replacement. "I’ve heard there are many...
Hospital Makes Ultimate Economic Move: Quits Credentialing Doctors
In a surprising move today, Nevercare General Hospital announced that it will close its medical staff office and stop credentialing doctors.
"It only makes sense," said...
Post-Cardiac Arrest Fonzie Not Eligible for Therapeutic Hypothermia, “He’s Already Too Cool”
MILWAUKEE, WI - The critical care service at Sweet Sweet Mercy Hospital has denied Fonzie a potentially life-saving intervention. He recently suffered an out...
Physician Still Hasn’t Received Her Big-Pharma Payout
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Newly-minted attending physician, Dr. Lindsay Moliarty, has a pile of bills to pay: $200,000 in student loans that has accrued...