With Sanders Out of 2016 Race, CDC Urges Those Still ‘Feeling the Bern’ to...
ATLANTA, GA – Following the announcement from the Sanders campaign that he has officially withdrawn his candidacy from the 2016 Democratic Presidential Primary Race,...
ICU Accepts Patient During Change of Shift
SAN DIEGO, CA - This morning at Southern California Hospital, RN Craig Needstapee became alarmed when at seven thirty in the morning, he called...
Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...
Patient Put on Totally Unclear, Very Murky Liquid Diet
AUSTIN, TX - Seeking to ruffle some feathers by going against the usual progression from NPO to clear liquids, hospitalist Roy McRoy placed his...
Patient’s Reflexes Documented in Medical Record, Perplexed Medical Student Didn’t See Examination
DENVER, CO – Third-year medical student, Samantha Mullerton, is rotating through the Memorial Hospital emergency room as part of her clinical rotations. She recently called...
Startling Report: CDC Recommends Against Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate
ATLANTA, GA - After a funding change, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) completed a meta-analysis using super statistical procedures and skewed...
Badass: Cardiologist Stents Own Proximal LAD Just ‘Cause He Can
NASHVILLE, TN - In a dazzling display of both self-sufficiency and badassery, Vanderbilt cardiologist Dr. Barnett Timberland has just successfully stented his own proximal...
Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye
ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up. There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical...
Cursed 110-Year-Old Describes Living Through Both Spanish Flu & Coronavirus Pandemics
NEW YORK, NY—Calling herself the unluckiest woman ever, 110-year-old Dottie Livingston is one of the few people who has been alive for both the...
Joint Commission Releases New Hunger Pain Scale
CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has just received word, in fact several words, that the Joint Commission will put forth a new hunger pain scale....