Internal Medicine

death penalty

HHS to Add Capital Punishment to Possible Penalties for HIPAA Violation

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In sweeping reversal of previous legislation, Health and Human Services (HHS) announced stronger punishments for violations of the Health Insurance Portability...
MICU surprised

No Neurology Consult: MICU Intern Startles All

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - During their daily rounds on all the patients with altered mental status in the medical intensive care unit (MICU), the neurology...

Constipation is an Admitting Diagnosis Apparently

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NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital was horrified to find out the very troubling news that one of their...

Carinii Sues Pneumocystis for Alimony After He Runs Away with His Secretary Jirovecii

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MALIBU, CA – GomerBlog recently came across a public filing Thursday that had shocking implications.  Carinii, long known to be the partner of Pneumocystis,...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...

Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated

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RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning.  She found...

New Brutally-Honest Bowel Prep ‘GoVyolently’ To Replace GoLytely

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DENVER, CO - Dr. Krista Gustadson has had to explain the actual effects of GoLytely the patients undergoing bowel prep before a colonoscopy ever...
pregnancy

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

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BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...

Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room

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British Columbia: 43-year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took two times the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling...

Snapchat Filters Prove Helpful for Female Physician’s Telemedicine Business

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Boston, MA - With the current COVID-19 crisis many physicians are turning to telemedicine to offer continuity of care to their patients. One female,...