Internal Medicine

zika virus

CDC Urges Mosquitos to Wear Tiny Condoms to Fight Zika Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - During a landmark press conference yesterday afternoon, CDC Chief Epidemiologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram implored mosquitos to wear small condoms during intercourse in...
Super Bowl party AMA Dilaudid

What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA

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ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply...
notes rounding

Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management

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WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the...
santa claus stuck

Santa Claus In Serious Condition After Chimney Incident & Sleep Apnea Complications

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THE NORTH POLE - GomerBlog can confirm that Santa Claus is recovering, but remains in serious condition, at North Pole Community Hospital after an incident when...

Oncologist Baffled by Cryptic Writing on Chart: DNR/DNI

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NEAR SHORE MEDICAL CENTER, MANHASSET, NY - Dr. Kim Okemo was perplexed to find six cryptic letters on the chart of a 92-year-old patient....
hospital crash cart

Updated 2016 Hospital Crash Cart Recommendations

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ATLANTA, GA - The crash cart is indispensable during cardiopulmonary arrest.  However, their contents are not standardized.  In a much needed remedy to this...

Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision

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IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...
pens

Nurses, Doctors on Pace to Lose Over 1 Trillion Pens in 2015

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CHICAGO, IL - In a study published in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Penmanship (NEJP), researchers have found that healthcare...

National Spelling Bee Update: All 291 Kids Eliminated After Failing to Spell ‘Dysdiadochokinesia’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - For the first time in the history of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, all 291 of the country's best young spellers...