Internal Medicine

rectum

Poll: What Do You Hope to Find in Your Patient’s Rectum?

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In this month's GomerBlog poll, we asked over 10,000,000 health care providers who were about to perform a rectal exam what they were hoping...
hipster beard super bacteria

Super Bacteria Found In Hipster’s Beard, Also Has Beard

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WILLIAMSBURG, NY - A local area hospital recently broke the news that a highly drug-resistant bacterial species was isolated from a man’s beard. The...

ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids

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ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking...
e-cigarette

Responding to E-Cigarette Trend, American College of Medicine Releases Guidelines Recommending Natural Cigarettes

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The electronic cigarette (e-cigarette) craze has swept the nation, with modest beginnings several years ago leading to annual sales now surpassing $1...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Gastroenterologist Paged Record 35 Times While in Restroom

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KANSAS CITY, MO - In a stark development it has been reported that earlier this morning during a five-minute bathroom break, Dr. Timothy McFadden, a...
cardiology updates

Cardiology Highlights in 2014

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Thirteenfold Therapy Increases Bleeding in Patients with Active Bleeding With the proliferation of antithrombotic agents available for the treatment of conditions like acute coronary syndrome,...
confident physician

E.R. Doctors To Druggies: “Get More Creative!”

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A national conference of Emergency Medicine doctors has created a list of suggestions for ER regulars who come in for Dilaudid and other euphoria-producing...
glove compartment syndrome

Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome

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ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing...
phone

Health Care Providers Hail the Launch of the New “Patient Complaint Line”

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Following in the pattern of patient satisfaction scores, Dreamland General Hospital has initiated a new "Patient Complaint Line."  When a patient has acted in...
rich historian

T-Shirt Giveaway Boosts Patient Morale

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In the era of intense hospital competition, improving patient satisfaction goes a long way. This past spring, the Department of Internal Medicine at University...