Dermatologist’s Ears Bleed While Internist Describes Rash
NEW YORK, NY - Dermatologist Felicia Randolph was fielding a consult from an internal medicine colleague Martin Ortiz, when halfway through the horrid attempt...
Practice Management Breakthrough: Hospitalist to Direct Admit Self to Own Service
SALEM, MA - A major breakthrough is heralded today in the field of hospital medicine that promises to solve the eternal problem of provider...
Revolutionary New Antibiotic Has No Drug Interactions
The pharmaceutical company PharmaWow has just released its latest drug, an antibiotic which they claim will not interact with anything.
In response to the growing...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
Ben Carson: Heart Attack Victims Could Have Survived If They Cathed Own Coronaries
DETROIT, MI - According to retired neurosurgeon and presidential hopeful Ben Carson, patients who have died due to acute myocardial infarctions or “heart attacks”...
Alternate Phrases for “This is a Very Pleasant…”
It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant…...
Internal Medicine Resident Ecstatic About Upcoming Emergency Department Rotation
STONY BROOK, NY – Internal medicine (IM) resident Dr. Thinksalot was delighted to learn that his emergency department rotation was coming up. "When I...
Hospitalist Program Offers 7-Years-On/7-Years-Off Schedule
PHOENIX, AZ—Many hospitalist programs around the country follow a 7-on/7-off model where clinicians work long hours for 7 consecutive days followed by a full...
AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’
NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is...
Too Many Cheetos: Patient with Rare Case of Orange Poop
BOSTON, MA - Bright red blood per rectum suggests active gastrointestinal (GI) bleeding, and black tarry stool suggests a brisk upper GI bleed. But...