Internal Medicine

Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy

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NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters.  He asked her the usual morning...
chapped lips hot mess express

All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!

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ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year

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ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...

Massachusetts ICU Nurse Wins Powerball, Uses Patient’s Vital Signs as Lucky Numbers

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CAMBRIDGE, MA - Local ICU nurse Debbie Watson called in rich this morning after winning the historic Powerball. When nobody claimed a the Powerball winnings...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
disposable colonoscope

Product Review: Melch Allyn’s Disposable Colonoscopes

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Pros / You don't have to worry about those hard-to-remove stains like on reusable colonoscopes because the Melch Allyn Disposable Colonoscope can be thrown...
black hole

Dreaming Big: GI Doc Hopes to Reach Outer Space & Scope a Black Hole

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Some of the biggest accomplishments ever made in medicine only came to fruition because passionate people were allowed to be...
obesity

Breaking: Numerical BMI to be Replaced by Pass/Fail

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Atlanta, Georgia - In a surprise announcement that has stunned medical professionals across the country, the Centers for Disease Control has announced that BMI...

Standardized Patient Suing Medical School After No One Detected Prostate Cancer

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TAMPA BAY, FL - 56-year-old Michael Finnerly has been volunteering his services to the local medical school's standardized patient program for several years.  Last week he was...
medical student menu

Med Student Given Important Task: Find Out What’s on Today’s Menu

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NASHVILLE, TN - Instructed by her team that the task she was being given was of the utmost importance, third-year Vanderbilt University medical student...