Internal Medicine

davinci robot

COVID-19 Breakthrough: Redeployed Da Vinci Can Swab One Patient Per Day

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BOSTON, MA - In what is already considered the biggest breakthrough against COVID-19 in the United States, surgeons report that Da Vinci robots have...

Doctors May Qualify for Law Degree After Completing HIPAA and EMTALA Compliance Training

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A report by the Institute of Legal Education states that doctors are likely eligible for a Juris Doctorate degree after completing mandatory training for...
zika virus

CDC Urges Mosquitos to Wear Tiny Condoms to Fight Zika Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - During a landmark press conference yesterday afternoon, CDC Chief Epidemiologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram implored mosquitos to wear small condoms during intercourse in...
Cheetos

Too Many Cheetos: Patient with Rare Case of Orange Poop

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BOSTON, MA - Bright red blood per rectum suggests active gastrointestinal (GI) bleeding, and black tarry stool suggests a brisk upper GI bleed.  But...

Insomniac Cured After One Question, Wonders Why He Didn’t Think of It Before

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BISMARCK, ND - In an unprecedented success story, patient Igor Soapen has finally been relieved of the insomnia that plagued his life.  And he...
medical student crying

Tips: How to Improve Your Daily Cry at Work Due to Burnout

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With all hope lost due to increasing and impossible expectations heaped upon health care practitioners by administrators, insurers, and patients each and every day,...
confused nurse wound care

Risk Management, Proctology Consulted After RN Confuses PRN and PR Orders

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CRESTED BUTTE, CO - In what’s being labeled “an unfortunate incident that we’re all trying to get behind us,” St. Indignant’s Hospital administrator Paul...

Hospital Administrator: It’s Important to Have Work-Life Imbalance

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NEW YORK, NY - Hospital administrator Todd Williams told media today that he understands that burnout among health care practitioners is a very real...
chapped lips hot mess express

Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess

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SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...
thoughts and prayers

Randomized Controlled Trial Finds #ThoughtsAndPrayers Superior to #Thoughts or #Prayers Alone

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BERKELEY, CA - A recent study of millennial patients diagnosed with chronic diseases found that social media posts with #ThoughtsAndPrayers were more effective than...