Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...
Spare Anesthesia Machine Makes Slushies
SANTE FE, NM - Dr. Brad Jacks suspected it for months. Anesthesia personnel would leave for a break in the middle of a quick ear...
Poor Colonoscopy Bowel Prep Blamed on Doctor
BOUTTE, LA - Bobby Boudreaux's colonoscopy had to be aborted this morning due to a poor bowel prep, making it impossible to safely perform...
MRSA Colonizes Mars
In a joint conference, CDC and NASA delivered a striking blow to human ambition and ingenuity, announcing that MRSA has officially colonized Mars. Defeating...
New Interns Looming: Hospitals Desperately Race to End Pandemic by July 1st
WASHINGTON, DC—If you thought the Coronavirus pandemic was bad right now, just wait until July 1st, the date most new medical school graduates begin...
Alternate Phrases for “This is a Very Pleasant…”
It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant…...
Feline Fibromyalgia Clinic Closes Amid Fraud Accusations
ASHEVILLE, NC - A local veterinary specialty clinic closed its doors on Monday as fraud accusations swirl regarding its treatment and billing practices. MaxxPurr...
Pharmacist Struggling to Calculate Dinner Tip
OCEANSIDE, NY - Inpatient pharmacist Mark Donato, beloved and trusted by his fellow physicians and other medical providers for being able to “dose anything,”...
Sword Swallower Wondering Why He Has Reflux All of a Sudden
TAMPA, FL - With a quizzical look on his face and a first held to his epigastrium, circus performer and sword swallower, Matthew the...
Veterinarian Turfs German Shepherd to Hospital Medicine
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Hospitalists at Minnesota Healthcare suffered one more devastating blow this morning as local veterinarian Tom Anderson turfed yet another animal, this...