Internal Medicine

hospital administrators

Administrators Volunteer To Screen Patients During Pandemic

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After spreading the CDC’s gospel for healthcare workers exposed to COVID-19 and lacking face masks to show up to work with their bandanas, health administrators...
phone

Health Care Providers Hail the Launch of the New “Patient Complaint Line”

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Following in the pattern of patient satisfaction scores, Dreamland General Hospital has initiated a new "Patient Complaint Line."  When a patient has acted in...
medical consultant

Consultant Tries Being Nice, Decides It’s Overrated

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On Friday afternoon, top gastroduodenopathologist Dr. Reedol D. Specimenz made a life-changing decision. "I wanted to try something new," says the forty-four-year-old specialist, sipping...
medical student menu

Med Student Given Important Task: Find Out What’s on Today’s Menu

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NASHVILLE, TN - Instructed by her team that the task she was being given was of the utmost importance, third-year Vanderbilt University medical student...
zodiac sign Cancer

The Zodiac Sign Cancer Undergoes First Round of Chemotherapy

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THE SKY ABOVE - Cancer, one of the twelve constellations of the zodiac, is undergoing its first round of chemotherapy at Beta Cancri Medical...
medicine resident

Graduating Resident Gives Finger to Every Attending in Department Before Leaving

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Dr. Will Chou, a graduating internal medicine resident, perfected his time management skills and was able to locate every single attending in his department...
insulin

FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases

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MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country.  "We...
hand washing

Researchers: If Washing Hands Won’t Remove All Germs, Blowing Them Off at High Speeds...

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers from Harvard University have discovered the reason for high-cost hand dryers in bathrooms all over the United States.  In public...
cpr

Heroic Hospital Administrator Rushes To Dying Patient To Complete Core Measures

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators across the country are recognizing the heroic efforts of Chlöe Less, Assistant Director of Quality Control at Madre...
gastroenterologist

GI Consultant Thrilled To Hear About Guaiac Positive Formed Stool At 3 AM

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Second-year gastroenterology fellow Dr. I. Scopalot was flabbergasted to hear about an unusual case of guaiac-positive stool found in the emergency department...