Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears
Reports from a three year long undercover investigation reveal that Pharmagen has been manufacturing dilaudid using a tremendous volume of unicorn tears. The 3,000...
Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...
Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...
Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large
GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South.
Earl Wayne...
PT and OT File for Divorce
PITTSBURGH, PA - In news that is making banner headlines in society pages nationwide and has left medical high society shocked and incredulous, Physical...
Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry
ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University. "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours...
Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...
Physician Wins Award for Paying Off Student Loans
WASHINGTON, DC - Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price was pleased to announce this week that 58-year-old internist Dale Mitchell has been awarded...
The Curious Case of a Patient Demanding a Controlled-Substance Prescription
ATLANTA, GA - The Center for Disease Control (CDC) released a shocking case report of a patient who rudely demanded that his physician issue...
It’s All Good: Avocado Toast More Effective Than Steroids in the Treatment of Septic...
NEW YORK, NY - The most important publication since the release of the Sepsis-3 guidelines, a multi-center trial led by a team of physicians...