Internal Medicine

hospital administrators

Administrators Volunteer To Screen Patients During Pandemic

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After spreading the CDC’s gospel for healthcare workers exposed to COVID-19 and lacking face masks to show up to work with their bandanas, health administrators...

Bicyclist Doctor Dons Scrubs Plastered with Advertising and Sexy Cute Buttpads

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Dr. Javier Dorfmann has perennially unfulfilled fantasies about competing in the Tour de France.  Just starting his second year of internal medicine residency at...
Chipotle

Study Finds Majority of Americans Would Rather Die of E. coli Than Not Eat...

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DENVER, CO – According to a study released last Saturday by University of Colorado sociologist Dr. Prestin Wheats, the majority of Americans are unfazed...
endotracheal tube cough suppressant

Musical Endotracheal Tubes Brighten Up ICU

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Intensive care units (ICU) are notoriously grim environments, filled with scenes of grief and worry.  But thanks to a new...
dog vaccine

Rabies Vaccines Result in Doggie Autism According to Andrew Wakefield, PETA Petrified

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HOLY SMOKES, NC - According to GomerBlog sources at GQ, it is true.  Rabies vaccines cause doggie autism.  The news came following a monumental...
pooh

Winnie Can’t Pooh, Needs Surgical Intervention

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SUSSEX, ENGLAND - In breaking news, Winnie the Pooh can't pooh and is in fact obstructed, necessitating surgical intervention.  "Oh, D-D-Dear!" cried Piglet.  "I...

Top 10 Perks of Being a VIP in a Hospital

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1. Hospital volunteers will give you piggyback rides wherever you need to go. Don’t bother using your legs to move around the hospital.  Our dedicated...
couple kissing

Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor

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Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom. Emergency Medicine Go skydiving to get the...

Patient Allergic to Epinephrine, Dies When Doctor Suddenly Slams Door

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HAMPTON, NJ - Local resident Shelly McDonald died suddenly on Thursday when she was at her doctor's office.  Her doctor is currently being charged with malpractice on...
garden gnome

Study: 90% Of Rectal Foreign Bodies Are Idiopathic

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - A recent retrospective review of Birmingham, Alabama confirms that 90% of rectal foreign bodies are idiopathic.  Colorectal surgeon Joshua P Dengle...