The Joint Commission Freshens Image, Rebrands Itself ‘The Joint’
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission announced on Tuesday that in an effort to freshen its image, it will now simply be known...
Fed Up ID Doctor Wishes Everyone Would F**king Defervesce Already
EL PASO, TX - "Fevers, fevers, everywhere I look, someone's got a f**king fever!!" Dr. Ryan Keeley was heard muttering down a hallway at...
Tips: How to Worsen Your Already-Terrible Bedside Manner
You may find your bedside manner is pretty terrible given how busy you are and your general frustration with humanity as a whole. If...
Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today
HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it...
Doctor to Hand Out Metformin for Halloween
HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween.
“Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November...
Twas the Night Before Christmas in the ED
Twas the night before Christmas, the ED was quiet,
Not a creature was stirring, there wasn’t even a riot.
The patients slept soundly, so...
Carbapenem-Resistant Enterobacteriacae Strain Develops Resistance To Bullets, Fire
LOS ANGELES, CA - Public health officials are warning of the emergence of a new strain of bacteria demonstrating an unusual resistance pattern. The warning...
Sundowning to be Referred to as Moonupping from Hereonin
LOS ANGELES, CA - The American Academy of Naming Medical Things (AANMT) has issued a mandated that sundowning will now be referred to as...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Consults IT, Tries Turning Heart Off Then Back On Again
Cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Richard White is always willing to collaborate with the health care team so he called St, Francis Hospital’s help desk today...
Recipe: GomerBlog’s Chicken Noodle Soup with Vancomycin & Zosyn
Ever wonder why chicken noodle soup is good for the soul? It’s because your soul is severely infected and needs to be treated with...