Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision
IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...
Hospital to Replace Clipboard Nurses with iPad Nurses
SEATTLE, WA - Greater Seattle Memorial Hospital announced plans earlier today to replace its clipboard nurses with iPad nurses. Specifically, senior-level nursing personnel who...
Neurologist Wondering Where She Put Her Tuning Spoon & Tuning Knife
DURHAM, NC - This past November, neurologist Adrianna Phelps was forced to improvise and use a tuning fork to eat her Caesar salad. Ever...
Patient’s Heart Hears about Impending Discharge, Begins Fibrillating
DES MOINES, IA - After overhearing a conversation about discharge planning, the heart belonging to 87 year old Thomas Munson decided at the last...
NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK
NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...
Avoiding Sexual Harassment Charges on the Job
With the arrest of a prominent emergency medicine physician in Manhattan for the alleged sexual abuse of patients in his care, it’s more important...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
Goop from ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid
DALLAS, TX - In an amazing breakthrough for science, a new life form has spontaneously willed itself into existence in the break room of a...
Cinnabon Creates New Insulin Rolls: Insulinabons
SEATTLE, WA - American purveyor of cinnamon rolls and diabetes, Cinnabon has announced a new tactic to combat the obesity epidemic, not by changing...