Internal Medicine

Hospital Having Difficulty in Training New Employee, ‘Mr. Dracula’

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NEW BEDFORD, CT – Merryview Community Hospital recently hired a local man named “Mr. Dracula” as a phlebotomist for their laboratory division and their decision...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Hospitalist Dictation at Home Goes Tragically Wrong

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ST. PAUL, MN - Dr. Dave Krieger was running late last Tuesday when, in retrospect, he made a terrible mistake: he decided to dictate his...

Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected

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NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected.  “We...
Quaker State Canola Oil

Product Review: Quaker State Ultimate Durability Full Synthetic Canola Oil

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Pros / Quaker State's new product provides excellent protection against the formation of sludge, plaque, and other harmful deposits, improving viscosity in all weather conditions. Cons /...
hospital ceo salary

CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case.  A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...
white doctor

White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
Medicare gratuity plan

Medicare Institutes New ‘Gratuity-Based’ Compensation Plan

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) began the rollout of their revolutionary new compensation model this week, in which physicians...
blood donor 10 units of blood

Now That’s Generosity: Man Donates All 10 Pints of His Blood

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MIAMI, FL - We could all learn a thing or two about generosity from Larry Jacobs.  Today, in the true spirit of kindness, Jacobs donated...
medical call room

Empty Lubricant Packet Found In Hospital Sleep Room Creates More Questions Than Answers

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BOCA RATON, FL - Staff hospitalist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was surprised to find a used lubricant packet in in the hospital call room.  The doctor...