Internal Medicine

slaps monitor v-fib

Medicine Resident Slaps Monitor Hoping V-Fib is Just Artifact

0
ATLANTA, GA - Implementing an often overlooked early step in the ACLS algorithm, third-year Emory University internal medicine resident Carrie-Ann Winslow slapped the monitor at the patient's...
rate my patients

Doctor Introduces New ‘Rate My Patient’ App

0
Tired of mediocre Yelp reviews by non-compliant patients, Dr. Thomson created “Rate my Patient”, an app designed for physicians that gives them a little...

ID Clinic Handing Out Free Chastity Belts

0
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - An infectious diseases clinic is thinking outside the box in an effort to promote safe sex practices by passing out free...

Move Over Nephritic & Nephrotic, Researchers Discover 3 More Renal Syndromes: NephrAtic, NephrEtic, and...

0
WASHINGTON, DC—Medical students everywhere have reportedly finally mastered the differences between nephritic and nephrotic syndromes, but just as they were preparing to ace their...

Hospitals Using Simulation to Prepare for North Korea Nuke Attack

0
Hospitals across the nation are preparing for possible nuclear warfare with North Korea.  In order for physicians and trainees to be ready for such...
patient satisfaction survey

Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction

18
LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA.  "Long-term mortality...

Hospitalist Abusing Copy and Paste in Paper Charts

7
CAPE COD, MA - A hospitalist at Cape Cod Medical Center, Dr. Chris Gallagher, has been under heavy scrutiny after being accused several weeks...

Breaking: Earth’s Inner Core Tests Positive for Coronavirus

0
LONDON, ENGLAND - Earth's inner core has tested positive for the novel coronavirus, Gomerblog reports. This is grave news for those holding hope that coronavirus...

Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions

35
NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by...

Hospital to Open Day Spa in Dialysis and Infusion Unit to Increase Income

0
In a bold move announced today, Mt. Saint Elsewhere hospital stated that the dialysis and infusion unit will be offering supplemental packages. “Anything you...