Dr. Oz Releases New Self-Help Book Entitled ‘You: The Malingerer’
In a bid to expand his clientele beyond weight conscious, measles-loving middle aged women, Dr. Oz added a new title to his best-selling line...
In Response to High Demand, Ensure Now Available in Keg Form
LAKE BLUFF, IL - You spoke and they listened: Abbott Laboratories, maker of nutritional supplements, has announced that their product Ensure is now available...
Traffic Not Only Causes Stress, It Causes Syphilis Too
STUCK IN THE MIDDLE LANE (STILL), INTERSTATE 85 SOUTH, ATLANTA, GA - Traffic jams are modern transit’s strokes. At rush hour or any hour in...
Contrary to Consultant’s Advice, Doctor is Now Hesitant to Call Back with Any Questions
AUSTIN, TX - After admitting a patient with end-stage congestive heart failure, third-year internal medicine resident Amanda Cummings consulted the cardiology service to help...
Music Therapist Tired of Playing the Hits
PHILADELPHIA, PA – Walking into her patient’s room at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP), you would never sense the anguish behind the smile of...
Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...
Pulmonary Team Hypoxic After Climbing Seven Flights of Stairs
NEW YORK, NY - A pulmonary team at New York Medical Center (NYMC) narrowly avoided an overnight ICU stay for BIPAP or ventilator support...
Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
Studies Suggest Afternoon Rounding is More About Staff Head Count Than Patient Care
“It’s 2 o’clock. Can we check-in with everyone now?”
The Case Manager huddles with the Charge Nurse as he calls for the nurses. While studies...
Patient Accidentally Discharged Home with Telemetry, Nasal Cannula, Central Line, Arterial Line, Nasogastric Tube…
ST. LOUIS, MO - An embarrassed inpatient team at St. Louis Health Sciences admitted earlier today that they accidentally discharged patient Michael Berman home...