Internal Medicine

COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance

0
ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight...
Nintendo cartridge Super Mario Bros

Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths

0
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...

MICU Secretary Promotes Staff Unity by Yelling ‘KILLING SPREE’ Every 5 Deaths

0
Day 7 intern year, and you already hate the MICU. There are 22 patients on your service, you know none of them, they're all septic,...
red blood cells

Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!

0
KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin. "I see that...

IDSA Recommends Washing Clothes Before, After Every Patient Encounter

0
ARLINGTON, VA - In an aggressive effort to help control the spread of microorganisms, the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) strongly recommends health...

United Airlines Asked to Forcibly Remove Patient from Hospital

0
CHICAGO, IL - Local patient Sam Johnson, who is being "taken care of" at Mercy Hospital, has not been able to leave for 7 months....
bacteria

Mystery of Appendix Solved: A Private Space for Horny Bacteria to “Get It On”

0
INSIDE YOUR APPENDIX—Admit it, when you place your stethoscope (that is, if you even own one) on a patient’s abdomen, you don’t really keep...

Man Claims to Have Caught Ebola from Flu Shot

16
DALLAS, TX - Local resident Sam Worthington is claiming to have contracted Ebola from his yearly flu shot.  The irony is found in contracting a...

Spare Anesthesia Machine Makes Slushies

4
SANTE FE, NM - Dr. Brad Jacks suspected it for months.  Anesthesia personnel would leave for a break in the middle of a quick ear...
health record on post it notes

Area Hospital to Implement New Health Record Using Post-it Notes

5
AREA, GA - Despite a flurry of activity in healthcare systems across America to implement efficient electronic health records (EHRs) or even more efficient...