Internal Medicine

SARSbola!!!!!!

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Publicists for SARS-CoV-2 and Ebola have announced that the two highly sought after A-list viruses are now joining forces to become this year’s newest...
hospital

Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’

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Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient.  To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...

Intern Kills Patient, Earns EMR’s Admiration

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BOSTON, MA - Dr. Earnest DeYoung, a promising intern at Backwater Junction General Medical Center, admitted Mildred Dweendles to intensive care late Friday night....
angry patient

Physicians can now legally ghost patients

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New York, New York- In an exciting turn of events congress has recently passed bill 151, also known as “the ghost law”. After much...
emergency physician

Dear BaconSpeak Voice Recognition Software Company

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I am an emergent see room dock door.  I am righting to let you no how much eye am in joying your voice recognition...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop

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EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...

COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance

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ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight...
Snorlax, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Snorlax Found Down, Intubated

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ATLANTA, GA - Anesthesiologist and Pokémon Go addict Tobey Matthews was using augmented reality to explore life on the other side of the anesthesiology...

Mayo Secretly Celebrates New #1 Status After Cleveland Clinic Comes Out Anti-Vax

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ROCHESTER, MN - The Mayo Clinic recently held a campus-wide party this weekend full of "Number 1" balloons and cakes that said "Mayo #1". ...