Dr. Fauci Implores We All Watch Bob Ross on Infinite Loop Immediately
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Addressing a restless and concerned American public over COVID-19, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious...
Twitter Unveils New Electronic Medical Record, Tweet-MR
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Twitter announced today that it would enter the business of electronic medical records, or EMRs. Twitter CEO and founder Jack...
The Joint Commission, Useless in the Time of COVID, to Mandate N95 Timers
The Joint Commission’s executive team, fresh off a socially-distanced golf retreat at Pebble Beach, reiterated its commitment to patient safety and unreimbursed hospital spending...
Sleeping Beauty Wakes Up After Single Dose of Narcan
MEDIEVAL ENGLAND - In a last ditch effort to prevent intubation for airway protection, Sleeping Beauty - also known as Princess Aurora, the daughter of...
Restaurant Patrons Sickened After Eavesdropping on Medical Professionals During Meal
HAMDEN, CT - It was a chaotic scene at the local 24-hour diner as a mass casualty incident (MCI) requiring the response of multiple...
Patient Placed on 4,000 Liters by Nasal Cannula
SPOKANE, WA - Sometimes you have to think outside the box. That's exactly what a rapid response team did this morning: In a...
Comey Urologist Confirms: He is a Leaker
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last week former FBI director James Comey made a startling disclosure: he had given parts of his opening statement before the...
99% of Health Care Practitioners Have a Troponin Leak at Work
NEW YORK, NY - Have you ever groaned because someone checked a troponin on a patient without chest pain or shortness of breath and,...