COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance
ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight...
Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...
MICU Secretary Promotes Staff Unity by Yelling ‘KILLING SPREE’ Every 5 Deaths
Day 7 intern year, and you already hate the MICU.
There are 22 patients on your service, you know none of them, they're all septic,...
Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!
KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin.
"I see that...
IDSA Recommends Washing Clothes Before, After Every Patient Encounter
ARLINGTON, VA - In an aggressive effort to help control the spread of microorganisms, the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) strongly recommends health...
United Airlines Asked to Forcibly Remove Patient from Hospital
CHICAGO, IL - Local patient Sam Johnson, who is being "taken care of" at Mercy Hospital, has not been able to leave for 7 months....
Mystery of Appendix Solved: A Private Space for Horny Bacteria to “Get It On”
INSIDE YOUR APPENDIX—Admit it, when you place your stethoscope (that is, if you even own one) on a patient’s abdomen, you don’t really keep...
Man Claims to Have Caught Ebola from Flu Shot
DALLAS, TX - Local resident Sam Worthington is claiming to have contracted Ebola from his yearly flu shot. The irony is found in contracting a...
Spare Anesthesia Machine Makes Slushies
SANTE FE, NM - Dr. Brad Jacks suspected it for months. Anesthesia personnel would leave for a break in the middle of a quick ear...
Area Hospital to Implement New Health Record Using Post-it Notes
AREA, GA - Despite a flurry of activity in healthcare systems across America to implement efficient electronic health records (EHRs) or even more efficient...