Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’
BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has...
U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...
On-Call Resident Realizes Entire Housestaff is Sundowning
NEW YORK, NY - On her first overnight call, internal medicine intern Dr. Erica Dalton has realized the entire hospital staff is sundowning. “I...
Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors
MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday. 84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room...
The Most Interesting Man in Medicine
He was admitted to school with a simple nod and a smile.
As a student, his attending would ask him for advice.
The lead surgeon assists...
In Effort to Contain Coronavirus, CDC Urges Americans to Abstain from Breathing for 2...
ATLANTA, GA—Citing the effectiveness of sex abstinence in preventing sexually-transmitted infections like HIV, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has strongly advised...
Is 2-Ply 2-Much to Ask For?!
NORFOLK, VA - Outrage has erupted from the Colorectal Department of Medi-Ocre Hospital over substandard staff toilet rolls. Professor Daniel Rears has spearheaded this campaign...
Fitbit Releases Sh*tbit, The Revolutionary New Bowel Movement Tracker
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Fitbit has released a revolutionary wireless-enabled wearable technology to help people measure data as related to the business of doing...
After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs
LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest...