Ortho Writes Perfect SOAP Note, First No-Worder This Year
LOS ANGELES, CA - Cliff Kershaw of UCLA Medical Center etched his way into the record books early this morning as he wrote the...
Doctors & Nurses Agree: Everyone Is a Poor Historian
ATLANTA, GA - Frustrated because you can’t get the details you want from a patient? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. A recent...
Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change
LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...
MICU Secretary Promotes Staff Unity by Yelling ‘KILLING SPREE’ Every 5 Deaths
Day 7 intern year, and you already hate the MICU.
There are 22 patients on your service, you know none of them, they're all septic,...
Hospital Administrators Announce Summer Camp Itinerary
To combat falling patient satisfaction scores and record staff turnover administration at Grace Disciple Advent Mother Mary Incarnate Theresa hospital (G-DAMMIT) has scheduled a...
April 18th 2016, National Rectal Exam Day, Free Exams at IRS Building
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to ensure the health of all Americans, the United States government has officially made April 18th, 2016 as National...
Emergency Medicine Attending Fails to Admit Old Man, Resigns
BLOOMINGTON, IN - Emergency medicine attending, Dr. Howard Rugers, announced his retirement yesterday after failing to find reason for admission for 95-year-old Herschel Levenstein,...
Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin
A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019.
“Apparently it didn’t...
Lab Coats Now Available in Brand New Colors
MEMPHIS, TN - Like the stethoscope, the white lab coat has not only been a magnet for bodily fluids and random food products, but...
CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything
WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the infection by Ebola of Nurse Nina Pham, who had cared for the first victim of that...