Super Mario in Critical Condition, Mistakes Deadly Amanita for 1-Up Mushroom
WORLD 7-2, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - Beloved Italian hero and plumber Super Mario is currently in critical condition at an area World 7-2 hospital after he...
Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone
NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the...
Flonass: Flonase’s Sister Spray for Anal Sniffles
LONDON, ENGLAND - When the season's change - either from winter to spring or from summer to fall - we often focus on runny...
Child Aspires to Be Burnt-Out Physician When She Grows Up
CHICAGO, IL -- Peggy Cheng had just graduated from first grade this summer when she told her parents that when she grows up she...
Saint Mary Hospital’s EMR Offers 2 New Discharge Disposition Options: Heaven or Hell
BETHLEHEM, PA—Following the lead of religiously-affiliated hospitals around the country, St. Mary Hospital recently updated their electronic medical record/order entry system to include two...
Beef Rib Named Official State Fruit of Texas
LOCKHART, TX - Say goodbye to the Texas red grapefruit as the official state fruit of Texas. Texas legislators will meet later tomorrow in...
Patient to be “Fullest Code Possible”
KEARNEY, NE - In what should not be considered abnormal in our day and age, the family of Billy Rubin demanded that the 89-year-old...
Patient Put on Totally Unclear, Very Murky Liquid Diet
AUSTIN, TX - Seeking to ruffle some feathers by going against the usual progression from NPO to clear liquids, hospitalist Roy McRoy placed his...
Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision
IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...