Internal Medicine

colonoscopy

Ugh, Not Again: GI Lab Full of A**holes Today

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ROCKFORD, IL - One local gastroenterology group is at wit's end as they realize that today is once again going to be like any...
medical SOAP note

Internist Creates Last Written SOAP Note: A Masterpiece for the Ages

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STONY BROOK, NY - On the eve of the Good Samaritan Hospital's final conversion to an all electronic medical record, local internal medicine legend,...
breathing

4 Out of 5 Pulmonologists Agree: Breathing is Important

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CHARLESTON, SC – During a recent press conference, America’s top pulmonologists confirmed that breathing is extremely important and necessary for maintaining the function of...

Feline Fibromyalgia Clinic Closes Amid Fraud Accusations

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ASHEVILLE, NC - A local veterinary specialty clinic closed its doors on Monday as fraud accusations swirl regarding its treatment and billing practices.  MaxxPurr...
holistic medicine

Area Lactose-Intolerant Holistic Practitioner Has Severe Lactic Acidosis

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SEPSIS BUNDLE HOSPITAL, CO - Area holistic practitioner Suzi Budzinsky-Donnitz-Sham-Meyers CPA, PhD, RN was unfortunately hospitalized today.  While she has been severely lactose intolerant for...

Electronic Prescriptions Now Available in Illegible Doctors’ Font

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WASHINGTON, DC—Pharmacists beware! The newest Electronic Health Record/e-Prescribing systems are being programmed to send out prescriptions written in an illegible “doctors’ handwriting” font. Called...
lab results

July Intern: ‘Potassium is Either 4 or 14’

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KEARNEY, NE - Residency is full of minute details and keeping these all together is hard when you're just starting out. So no surprise...

Comey Urologist Confirms: He is a Leaker

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last week former FBI director James Comey made a startling disclosure: he had given parts of his opening statement before the...

Colon Loses It, Screams “OK, EVERYBODY OUT!”

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BELLY, HUMAN - Bowel uncharacteristically threw everyone out yesterday after a Mexican named Burrito arrived, according to Stomach.  "I've always thought Colon was an...
black hole

Dreaming Big: GI Doc Hopes to Reach Outer Space & Scope a Black Hole

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Some of the biggest accomplishments ever made in medicine only came to fruition because passionate people were allowed to be...