Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First
CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.” When...
Following $2 Million Lottery Win, Doctors Still in Debt
WASHINGTON, DC – After months of pooling their money and purchasing lottery tickets, a group of local resident doctors have won the Virginia Lotto’s...
Intern Fails at Champagne Tap, More Like Barolo Tap
ATLANTA, GA - Internal medicine intern Timothy McDuffy's quest to perform a lumbar puncture (LP) in which there are zero RBCs in the first...
Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked. It is the end of the day and...
Breaking: Nurse Initiates Lesser-Known Chloride Repletion Protocol
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nurse Jess Casamento of Ochsner Medical Center is one of the best when it comes to repleting electrolytes: potassium, magnesium, even...
Serious About Safety, “Operation Warp Speed” to Enroll 7.8 Billion People in Phase 1...
WASHINGTON, DC—Leaders of “Operation Warp Speed” (OWS), the government program tasked with developing a Covid-19 vaccine, insist that despite the name, their top priority...
After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy
BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer. “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters...
Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion Due To ChloraPrep From Last Plastic Surgery
WASHINGTON, D.C - The U.S. Surgeon General accidentally revealed in a recent interview that President Trump’s skin tone is actually a normal shade of...
Now That’s Generosity: Man Donates All 10 Pints of His Blood
MIAMI, FL - We could all learn a thing or two about generosity from Larry Jacobs. Today, in the true spirit of kindness, Jacobs donated...