Internal Medicine

human organs

AMA Announces List of the Top 6 Useless Organs

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The Human body is a marvelous biologic machine, adapted to sustain homeostasis in a wide variety of environments. A spectacular coalescence of multiple organs...

A COVID-19 Miracle: Jesus Turns Water into Hand Sanitizer

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BETHLEHEM - Add another miracle to His already impressive resume: Jesus has offered humanity hope in its fight against COVID-19 by turning water into...
Trapped physician

Guest Delighted to Meet Physician at Party, Discusses Medical Symptoms for a Soul-Crushing 45...

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Last week at a cocktail party, a local woman was thrilled to learn that a another guest was a practicing internist.  "I've...
icu accepts patient

ICU Accepts Patient During Change of Shift

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SAN DIEGO, CA - This morning at Southern California Hospital, RN Craig Needstapee became alarmed when at seven thirty in the morning, he called...
elderly patient

What Kind of Older Hospitalized Patient Do You Want to Be?

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Fellow health care professionals, let’s face it: We’re all going to grow old and die.  We’re all going to be hospitalized at some point,...
LOS

Study: Length of D/C Summary Inversely Proportional to Length of Stay (LOS)

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BETHESDA, MD - A landmark study conducted by the National Institute of Documentation (NID) has proven once and for all the length of a discharge...
John Doe

Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe

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NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized...
nystatin statin

Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All

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BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year

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ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...

Breaking: Penlights Extinct

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CHICAGO, IL - The American Association of Physical Exam Tools & Instruments (AAPETI) has announced that penlights are officially extinct, Gomerblog reports. "It is with...