Internal Medicine

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

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CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....

Disgusting! This Patient’s Cranial Nerves Were Grossly Intact

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When you didn't think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them.  Last week, per the...
colonoscopy

Ugh, Not Again: GI Lab Full of A**holes Today

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ROCKFORD, IL - One local gastroenterology group is at wit's end as they realize that today is once again going to be like any...
birthday

On-Call Doctor Celebrates Birthday with 17 of His Closest Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Absolutely convinced that there was no better way to spend this special day, on-call internal medicine physician Jack Romeo celebrated his 34th birthday with 17 of...
Floyd Weather intubated

Floyd Mayweather Intubated After Aspirating $300 Million in Revenue

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Less than 24 hours after extending his record to an incredible 50-0 after defeating MMA fighter Conor McGregor, Floyd "Money"...
Olympics

STDs Running Rampant in Sochi Olympic Village

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SOCHI, RUSSIA – Apparently what happens in Sochi doesn’t always stay there.  Olympic athletes have been going at it strong and GomerBlog is sad...

Chaos as ICU Attending Touches Defibrillator

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LEBANON, IN – An internal mass casualty incident was declared at Saint Sebastian Hospital on Thursday morning after an ICU physician inadvertently discharged a...
oxy coaster

FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride

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PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...

Ortho ORIF’s a Calcified Aorta

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Toronto, ON - In a world first, Dr. Chipper has carried out what we’re cautiously calling a successful open reduction and internal fixation (ORIF)...
drinking alcohol

After Counseling Patient on Evils of Alcohol Abuse, Medical Team Leaves Work & Gets...

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ATLANTA, GA - A multidisciplinary inpatient team at Georgia Medical Center (GMC) spent thirty minutes at bedside warning their patient Doug Johansen of the...