Internal Medicine

Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity

0
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...

Red Sharps Containers Replaced by Magic Sword Boxes

0
MAGIC CITY, ID—If you’ve been at Magic City Medical Center recently, you may have noticed that those iconic red sharps containers that used to...
vaccination

Startling Report: CDC Recommends Against Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate

0
ATLANTA, GA - After a funding change, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) completed a meta-analysis using super statistical procedures and skewed...
rhabdo

Forrest Gump Still in Rhabdo 30 Years After Epic Cross-Country Run

0
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Though it has been three decades since his historic three-and-a-half year cross-country run brought him national attention, Birmingham Medical Center (BMC)...
used speculum tongue depressor

Ten Spectacular Off-Label Uses of the Speculum

0
You’re probably familiar with the traditional use of the speculum: visualization of the cervical os, blah blah blah.  We at Gomerblog are pleased to...
measles infection

Dr. House of Cards: Magna Cum Measles

4
ZDoggMD stars in Dr. House of Cards, Magna Cum Measles.  Looks like little Timmy will be getting his MMR vaccine afterall. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-sW_wZoAFk  

AMA Admits ‘We Are in the Pocket of Big Oxygen,’ Issues Formal Apology to...

0
Anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists, naturalists, you had it right all along. Our rampant greed as medical providers knows no bounds. You have called us out...
John Doe

Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe

0
NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized...

Valium Advent Calendar Being Tested by Local Pharmaceutical Company

0
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Parents will be able to count down the days until Christmas in a much more soothing manner this season. A...
walking

Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040

5
WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...