Winnie Can’t Pooh, Needs Surgical Intervention
SUSSEX, ENGLAND - In breaking news, Winnie the Pooh can't pooh and is in fact obstructed, necessitating surgical intervention. "Oh, D-D-Dear!" cried Piglet. "I...
Honesty FTW! Physician Signs Note “Thanks for the Sh*tty Consult”
BOSTON, MA - Making no attempt to hide his obvious displeasure in what was a "late" and "totally bogus" consult, infectious diseases fellow Luke...
Area Lactose-Intolerant Holistic Practitioner Has Severe Lactic Acidosis
SEPSIS BUNDLE HOSPITAL, CO - Area holistic practitioner Suzi Budzinsky-Donnitz-Sham-Meyers CPA, PhD, RN was unfortunately hospitalized today. While she has been severely lactose intolerant for...
COVID-19: Thankful On-Call ID Doc Paged Only 43,589 Times Today
BOSTON, MA - Despite America coming to a screeching halt at the hands of a pandemic caused by novel coronavirus COVID-19, a very thankful...
Cardiologist Excited to Cath Winner of Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest
CONEY ISLAND, NY - Less than 24 hours away from the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on the Coney Island boardwalk, Mount Sinai...
Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy
NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters. He asked her the usual morning...
Is 2-Ply 2-Much to Ask For?!
NORFOLK, VA - Outrage has erupted from the Colorectal Department of Medi-Ocre Hospital over substandard staff toilet rolls. Professor Daniel Rears has spearheaded this campaign...
The Curious Case of a Patient Demanding a Controlled-Substance Prescription
ATLANTA, GA - The Center for Disease Control (CDC) released a shocking case report of a patient who rudely demanded that his physician issue...
Patient Care During Super Bowl Nears “Total Neglect” Status
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Don’t get sick during the Super Bowl" was the overwhelming response put out the Joint Commission today. New studies just released by...
Academy Awards (Medical Edition) Categories Announced: Doctors, Patients to Be Nominated
PENSACOLA, FL - Buzz is building in doctors' lounges and waiting rooms across the nation, in reaction to last week's release of the Academy Awards...