Internal Medicine

Doctors shocked to discover patient with low pain tolerance

0
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Dr. John Payne, an orthopaedist at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia just announced a shocking discovery he made yesterday, while in...
rock in hospital

Medical Service’s “Rock” Patient Discovered Upon Physical Exam to Be Actual Rock

0
PLYMOUTH, MA - Intern Douglas McCombs was surprised to learn this morning that a patient on the medical service, who had been deemed a...

Mooch: G*ddamn Goals of Care Talk Went F**king Fabulous

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former White House communications director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci has told Gomerblog that an impromptu family meeting and "g*ddamn" goals of...

COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance

0
ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

Patient Admitted with Life-Threatening Butthurt Exacerbation

0
CHICAGO, IL - "Move people, this guy's crashing!" EMTs yelled, asking everyone to get out of their way as they aggressively carried 33-year-old Alexander...
unicorn

Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears

0
Reports from a three year long undercover investigation reveal that Pharmagen has been manufacturing dilaudid using a tremendous volume of unicorn tears. The 3,000...
medical patient on cell phone

Cell Phones Newest Weapon in Fight Against Pain

31
BOSTON, MA - Cell phones are now on the list of items previously thought to have no therapeutic benefit, which are now being researched...
colonoscopy

Hamburglar Diagnosed with Colon Cancer

0
MCDONALDLAND - In sad news today, the Hamburglar, who amused children for years with his antics and unstoppable desire for hamburgers, was diagnosed with...

CDC Warns Man Buns Harbor Zika Virus

0
ATLANTA, GA - The Center for Disease Control has issued a very clear warning: Do not date or interact with any men with man...