Internal Medicine

COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance

0
ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight...

New ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Vaccine Covers All Infections A to Z

0
ALPHABET CITY, NY—With so many recommended vaccines—MMR, DTaP, IPV, Hib, PCV, RV etc—it can be challenging to remember all their names, let alone when...
breathing

4 Out of 5 Pulmonologists Agree: Breathing is Important

0
CHARLESTON, SC – During a recent press conference, America’s top pulmonologists confirmed that breathing is extremely important and necessary for maintaining the function of...
need coffee

Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken

17
SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
gi scope

Dr. Oz’s Colonoscopy Reveals That He’s FOS

0
CLEVELAND, OH - After years of nauseating lies and verbal diarrhea, America’s leading medical quack Dr. Oz finally underwent a much needed colonoscopy today...

Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves

0
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
doc hunt

Video Game Review: Doc(ument) Hunt

0
Pros / Doc(ument) Hunt is a fun follow-up to Nintendo's Duck Hunt that allows medical providers to channel their rage against paperwork by shooting up flying...

Impassable EMR Alert Demands Flu Shot For Deceased Patient

0
A best practice alert, recently programmed by a highly competent collaboration between non-clinical quality and IT personnel, popped up today when Beth, RN was...

Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced

0
BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard...