routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Routine Blood Work Comes Back Positive for Urine

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Alissa Morgan returned to see her primary care doctor (PCP), Dr. Mel Oberlin, today to go over her routine blood work,...
etoh levels

Unit Secretary Wins Nightly ETOH Pool

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HOLLYWOOD, CA – Emergency room secretary Lois Mare won the nightly ETOH pool at Topanga Memorial Hospital last night. Her winning guess of 433...
stressed medical student

Med Student Doing a Psych Rotation Writes Her Own Mental Status Exam

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MENTAL STATUS EXAM (MSE) - A female in her 20's looking stated age, recently changed out of sweatpants and into pajamas with a loud coffee stain.  Dark...
falling with coumadin

AANS Now Requires Coumadin Gauntlet Prior to Starting Anticoagulation

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CHICAGO, IL - Due to a recent study that has shown how the simple act of taking anticoagulant medications increases one’s fall risk, and...
lozenges

3:01 AM Lozenges Order Request Caught on Tape

50
BOCA RATON, FL - The following is an exclusive transcript of the explosive dialogue that has resulted in a formal reprimanding of Dr. Ann Hedonia...
ER

Goop from ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid

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DALLAS, TX - In an amazing breakthrough for science, a new life form has spontaneously willed itself into existence in the break room of a...
radiology

CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed ‘Panniculolithiasis’

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has issued an advisory regarding a new disease being reported sporadically across the country.  There have now been over...
gastroenterologist

Overzealous Gastroenterologist Accidentally Invents Esophagocolonoscopy

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WINSTON-SALEM, NC - A young Gastroenterologist and his team made history last week when what was supposed to be a standard endoscopic exam turned...
vaccination

New Vaccination Campaign Seeks to Eradicate Anti-Vax Movement by 2030

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WASHINGTON, DC—Jenny McCarthy, once famous for a spread of nude photos in Playboy and now for causing the spread of measles in the US,...