Profits Soar After Area Hospital Opens ‘All You Can Eat/Shoot Narcotics Buffet’
In response to poor HCHAPS scores and declining revenue, St John’s in the Valley has become the first hospital in the nation to trial...
Patient Care During Super Bowl Nears “Total Neglect” Status
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Don’t get sick during the Super Bowl" was the overwhelming response put out the Joint Commission today. New studies just released by...
Newly’Appointed ‘Ebola Czar’ Quarantines Entire Navy After Learning Ebola Can Be Transmitted by Semen
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a bold first move since his recent appointment by President Obama as “Ebola Czar,” Ron Klain will quarantine the entire U.S....
7 Holiday Gift Suggestions for Doctors, Nurses, Healthcare Professionals, and Patients
As another sucky year comes to a much needed close, that can only mean one of two things: the holidays are approaching or it’s...
Therapeutic Hypothermia Ineffective in Patients with Hypothermia
LOUISVILLE, KY - Therapeutic hypothermia, the deliberate reduction of core body temperature to 32 to 34 degrees Celsius, was found to be ineffective and...
Study: Red Wine in Moderation Good, in Excess Freaking Amazing
ROCHESTER, MN - Wine enthusiasts bust out the Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, and other red varietals, and get ready to celebrate! An exciting new...
Master Radiologist Able to Hedge on Every Possible Medical Condition
BOSTON, MA – According to the abdominal CT scan report internist Dr. Sam Erikson just pulled up, master radiologist Dr. Bart Waddell has once again...
Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked. It is the end of the day and...
Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...
Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...
Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today
HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it...