Elephant Complains of Chest Pain ‘Like a Human Sitting on My Chest’
NEW YORK, NY - At approximately 6:00 AM this morning, a local elephant named Eli the Elephant developed excruciating ten out of ten chest...
Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer
WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his...
ID’s Epic Consult Note Starts with “Once Upon a Time”
ALBANY, NY - A primary medical team at Albany Medical Center (AMC) is bracing themselves for the worst, as Infectious Diseases (ID) has just...
Trump Tweets About More Medical Specialties
President Trump has gone back to Twitter to tweet about some of the specialties he forgot in his first tweetstorm!
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Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results
BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....
Patient Looks Forward to Getting Admitted & Refusing Everything a Hospital Can Offer
ATLANTA, GA - For the third time this month and tenth time this year, Jason Reynolds, a 54-year-old male with epic levels of noncompliance,...
IDSA Releases New Recommendations: Handwashing is Bullsh*t
ARLINGTON, VA - The world of medicine has been rocked early this morning with the release of new recommendations by the Infectious Diseases Society...
Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision
IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...
Doctors Unanimously Decide to “Stay in Their Lane” as NRA Tweet Advised
WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of Doctors who read the National Rifle Association (NRA) tweet to “stay in their lane” suddenly realized that the NRA...
Put A Little Haart in It
My mother, a biology teacher, turned me onto infectious diseases (ID) when I was just a prezcobix youngster, feeding me documentaries on parasites and...