Universal Admission Template for a Drug Seeker
Chief Complaint:
Abdominal pain or pain due to condition that doesn’t cause pain.
History of Present Illness:
This is a really, really annoying patient with a given...
Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large
GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South.
Earl Wayne...
ChooseMyPlate.gov Updates Plate Portions for Nurses, Docs
WASHINGTON, DC - The USDA website ChooseMyPlate.gov has updated its plate for all hospital personnel to remind them that while finding your healthy eating...
Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
Doctor Vows to Not Sleep Until He Finds Cure for Cancer, Retracts That, Vows...
OMAHA, NE – World famous oncologist Dr. Samuel Potter publicly vowed last week to "not sleep until I find the cure for cancer." This big...
Lion King Remake to Include Mufasa’s Prolonged ICU Admission and Futile Care Prior to...
ANAHEIM, CA - Disney studios has announced that the remake of the Lion King, slated to be released in mid-2019, will feature a more...
Local Centenarian Attributes Longevity to Drinking, Sex, Survivorship Bias
Lenny Jones, a retired pipe fitter and Navy veteran celebrated his 102nd birthday at the Greenwood Hills nursing home on Tuesday.
When asked about the...
In Response to High Demand, Ensure Now Available in Keg Form
LAKE BLUFF, IL - You spoke and they listened: Abbott Laboratories, maker of nutritional supplements, has announced that their product Ensure is now available...
Nurses, Doctors on Pace to Lose Over 1 Trillion Pens in 2015
CHICAGO, IL - In a study published in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Penmanship (NEJP), researchers have found that healthcare...
Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040
WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...