AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’
NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is...
Thawed Medieval Surgeon Still Prescribing Too Much Bloodletting Despite All the Evidence
MUNICH, GERMANY - Lord Lockwell was recently discovered in the Bavarian Alps near the German-Switzerland border in a small town called Konstanz. Due to...
Hospital Enacts New Mandatory Happy Hour for Employees
BOSTON, MA - "Go figure out the best way to improve patient safety and medical care at our hospital," was the charge that CEO of...
Tired of Its Advice Being Ignored, CDC Kicks America Out of Its Practice
ATLANTA, GA—Frustrated that no one is listening to their Covid-19 recommendations, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) announced today that it had...
The Joint Commission on Satire Releases Consensus International Butthurt Scale
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The Joint Commission on Satire (JCS) released the results of their 2nd annual meeting to include the first ever consensus International...
Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
Resting Bitch Face Underdiagnosed in Health Care Providers
NEW YORK, NY - Despite the numerous advances and medical breakthroughs in 2015, GomerBlog reports that resting bitch face (RBF), a horrible affliction in...
Soap Opera Doctor Still Awaiting Credentialing 5 Years and Counting
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Dr. Mario Love, a well-known Days of Our Lives general surgeon, is still not credentialed at his local hospital after being on the...
Hospital Administrators Think High Healthcare Costs Fixed by Hiring More Hospital Administrators
WASHINGTON, DC - CEOs of major US hospitals are breaking their silence and coming out in favor of hiring more hospital administrators. CEO of...
CVS to Limit Opioid Prescription Length to 7 Days, Unless You Say “Pretty Please?!”...
WOONSOCKET, RI - Stepping up to the plate to help combat the ongoing opioid epidemic, CVS Pharmacy has adopted a new opioid policy that...