Internal Medicine

Colossal coronavirus about to devour New York City

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NEW YORK, NY - Currently billions and billions of virus-sized Godzillas are wreaking havoc on New York. The coronavirus is speading like wildfire. Now...
attending thinks he is funny

Attending Shocked to Learn He’s Not Actually Funny

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TACOMA, WA - Dr. Gerald Wood, the Chief of Rheumatology at St. Johns, was stunned to learn this morning that he is not objectively...
angry man

Tips: How to Manage Your Pent-Up, Work-Related Rage

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Many jobs, in particular ones involving working at the hospital, have a certain way of… how do you say… taking you there.  One of the...
meatball sub

Wildly-Inaccurate Operative Note Inspires New Approach to Gastric Bypass

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Gastrointestinal surgeon Perry Rush discovered a wildly-inaccurate post operative note in a patient chart last month that has become inspiration for a radical new...

Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns

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INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...
Medical center

Google Medical Center Opens

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MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - The brand new Google Medical Center opened its doors to patients this summer.  The gleaming complex is a first of...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Supply of ICD-10 Codes for COVID-19 “Dangerously Low”

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ATLANTA, GA - Just when the situation couldn't get any more dire for health care professionals on the front line, the Centers for Disease...

Suburban ER Named Fibromyalgia Center of Excellence

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - Specifically mentioning its “soothing atmosphere, unrushed physicians, and tendency for staff to not smirk upon mention of the disease,” the Fibromyalgia...
food service

Hospital Stops Serving Food

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MORGANTOWN, NC - North Carolina Christian Medical Center (NCCMC) in northwestern NC proudly announces landmark cost-cutting steps projected to save millions of dollars and generate...

Goat Sacrifice to Ba’al Replaces Medicine Rounds, No Change in Patient Outcomes

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During the seventh hour of internal medicine rounds one day, Dr. Frownalot had an intriguing idea. After hearing the resident present a patient with...