Breaking: Colonized Computer Keyboard Finally Becomes Septic
LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has learned that a computer keyboard colonized with a whole host of microorganisms at the nurses station on Unit...
Doctor Absolutely Crushes the Lung Exam This Morning
AUSTIN, TX - The patient's lungs never stood a chance. After some idle chit-chat about symptoms of dyspnea and wheeze, hospitalist Miguel Ruiz proceeded...
Fifth Season of Netflix’s ‘Narcos’ To Be Set In Washington, D.C.
SCOTTS VALLEY, CA - Seasons 1 through 3 chronicled the drug trade through Columbia, Season 4 is poised to go to Mexico, and it...
Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart
THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....
No Neurology Consult: MICU Intern Startles All
PHILADELPHIA, PA - During their daily rounds on all the patients with altered mental status in the medical intensive care unit (MICU), the neurology...
Want to Throw the Kitchen Sink at Your Patient? It Now Comes in IV...
PARAMUS, NJ - Leaky Ivy Pharmaceuticals announced that the increasingly popular Kitchen Sink will now be available in an IV form. Reported Dr. Remy...
Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs
CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...
Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously
CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy...
Everyone Looking Forward to Tonight’s Hell-in-a-Cell, Steel-Cage Family Meeting
ATLANTA, GA - Sweet anticipation is in the air at Georgia Medical Center (GMC). No one plans on going home as everyone - patients,...