Internal Medicine

The Difference Between a Medicine Service and a Garbage Dump

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Today we explore a new set of entities that often get mistaken for one another: a garbage dump and a medicine service.  Let's begin!!! A...
medical zodiac

The 12 Symptoms of the Medical Zodiac‏

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Do you remember your constellations, in particular the 12 symptoms of the medical zodiac?  Bust out your telescopes, find your closest clear night sky,...
colonoscopy

Ugh, Not Again: GI Lab Full of A**holes Today

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ROCKFORD, IL - One local gastroenterology group is at wit's end as they realize that today is once again going to be like any...
gout

Patient Continues to Insist He Suffers from “The Gouch,” Not Gout

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NEW YORK, NY - Larry McCarthy is a 65-year-old gentleman who doesn’t believe in the classic food pyramid; he believes in meat and alcohol...
map my couch app

Map My Couch App Released in Response to Map My Run App

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In response to the numerous Map My Run and other workout posts that inundate newsfeeds on Facebook, a psychology group out of Houston TX...

Thawed Medieval Surgeon Still Prescribing Too Much Bloodletting Despite All the Evidence

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MUNICH, GERMANY - Lord Lockwell was recently discovered in the Bavarian Alps near the German-Switzerland border in a small town called Konstanz.  Due to...

Tragedy as Strong Gust of Wind Kills Hundreds of Umbrellas

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CHICAGO, IL - Tragedy struck the Illinois metropolis today as a light drizzle suddenly gave way to a surprisingly strong fifteen-second gust of wind off...

85-Year-Old Physician Executes Quadruple Click in Heroic Attempt to Open Patient’s Chart

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Witnesses were reportedly stunned yesterday when Dr. Montgomery "Monty" Rutherford, an 85-year-old internist, performed a quadruple click in a heroic attempt...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Supply of ICD-10 Codes for COVID-19 “Dangerously Low”

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ATLANTA, GA - Just when the situation couldn't get any more dire for health care professionals on the front line, the Centers for Disease...
rock in hospital

Medical Service’s “Rock” Patient Discovered Upon Physical Exam to Be Actual Rock

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PLYMOUTH, MA - Intern Douglas McCombs was surprised to learn this morning that a patient on the medical service, who had been deemed a...