Spare Anesthesia Machine Makes Slushies
SANTE FE, NM - Dr. Brad Jacks suspected it for months. Anesthesia personnel would leave for a break in the middle of a quick ear...
Definition of ‘Idiopathic’ Leaked, Millions of Patients Outraged
UNKNOWN, USA - Waiting rooms have seen record numbers of infuriated patients this week, after one patient stumbled across "idiopathic" in the dictionary. The patient,...
Local Centenarian Attributes Longevity to Drinking, Sex, Survivorship Bias
Lenny Jones, a retired pipe fitter and Navy veteran celebrated his 102nd birthday at the Greenwood Hills nursing home on Tuesday.
When asked about the...
Breaking News: Internal Medicine Attending is “Old as F**k”
LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has been alerted by several concerned nurses and medicine residents to the appearance of an ancient bent-out-of-shape internal medicine attending...
NASA Diagnoses Milky Way Galaxy with Lactose Intolerance
HOUSTON, TX - If you ever thought that our solar system has a funky smell but could never figure out what it was, you're...
Chest Pain Rule-Out: Patient with Stuffed Elephant Sitting on Chest
DANBURY, CT - A patient at Danbury Medical Center was admitted for chest pain rule out after he was complaining of a toy stuffed...
Primary Care Docs Happily Handing Out Z-Pak Prescriptions to Coronavirus Patient
CHICAGO, IL—Citing decades’ worth of experience using the drug to treat all types of viral respiratory infections, the nation’s primary care physicians (PCPs) are...
Surgeon General Admits: Condoms ‘Kinda Suck’
WASHINGTON, DC - During a press conference yesterday, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy admitted that, although very important, condoms do in fact “kinda suck.”
The...
T-Shirt Giveaway Boosts Patient Morale
In the era of intense hospital competition, improving patient satisfaction goes a long way. This past spring, the Department of Internal Medicine at University...