Internal Medicine

Oncologist Dr. Trump: Making Your Body Great Again

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NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Trump makes his rounds through the halls of NYU's hospital and you can overhear his barking: "Cisplatin you're FIRED,...

New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds

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CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician.  She has been desperately trying to...

Lame PCP Doctor Hasn’t Even Tried PCP

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MADISON, WI - Quick!  Hide your beer, get the Visine, because it's time to meet Dr. Dud.  Well, her real name is Dr. Amy...

MICU Secretary Promotes Staff Unity by Yelling ‘KILLING SPREE’ Every 5 Deaths

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Day 7 intern year, and you already hate the MICU. There are 22 patients on your service, you know none of them, they're all septic,...

New Hospital Beds Harder to Figure Out Than Acid-Base

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NASHVILLE, TN - Medical staff at Nashville Memorial Hospital are completely baffled by a new fleet of hospital beds on Unit 55-G, saying that...

Clinic Patient Brings Meds in McDonald’s Bag, Must Be Compliant

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NEW YORK, NY - At 8:35 AM this morning, patient Philip Kruger showed up to his primary care clinic appointment with his medications stuffed...

Internist Able to Hear Heart Sounds Using Disposable Stethoscope

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CHICAGO, IL – In what is believed to have been a first, Dr. Dick Andersen legitimately heard heart sounds using a disposable “MRSA stethoscope”...
hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...
Hilton Hospital

New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open

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CHICAGO, IL - Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish construction shortly on a new state of the art hotel,...
red blood cells

Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!

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KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin. "I see that...