HDL Cholesterol Breaks Bad, Tired of Always Being the “Good” On
ALBUQUERQUE, NM—High-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, the so-called “good” cholesterol that helpfully clears away cholesterol deposits from arteries, is tired of always being the good...
Author Concludes “No Further Studies Necessary”
BOSTON, MA - In a striking bout of confidence, Dr. Jannek Nusenbaum, MD, PhD recently concluded in the New England Journal of Medicine that...
Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...
Groundbreaking: Patient Placed on Gaseous Diet
LOS ANGELES, CA - Hoping this can provide critical nourishment for someone with severe dysphagia to both solids and liquids instead of defaulting to...
Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend
DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...
ED Study Links Volume of Screaming to Patient’s Level of Pain
SAN ANTONIO, TX - In a landmark study published in this month's Annals of Emergency Medicine, researchers from an emergency department in Sarasota, Florida have found evidence...
Whole Foods to Offer Free Gluten Sensitivity Tests in Aisles
HARTFORD, CT - In an attempt to further push gluten-free foods into the public eye, Whole Foods has added point of care celiac sprue...
Mooch: G*ddamn Goals of Care Talk Went F**king Fabulous
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former White House communications director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci has told Gomerblog that an impromptu family meeting and "g*ddamn" goals of...