Internal Medicine

Hospice Agencies Pioneering a Different Approach to the Decidedly Unglamorous Process of Dying

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“Our clients customize their own End of Living Plans down to the finest details,” mused company spokesperson Delilah Banerjee. “Their final months, days, and...
yiddish medical

Yiddish to Be Introduced Into Official Medical Terminology

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Language Council of Hospitals and Institutions of Medicine (LCHAIM) announced yesterday that a number of commonly used Yiddish terms have...
oxidative phosphorylation

Med Student Yammering About Oxidative Phosphorylation, Kill Us Now

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones continues to cement her legacy as the most annoying...
caps lock

NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK

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NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...
hospital administrators

Prezz-Gainey Releases Hospital Administrator Satisfaction Survey

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CASH MOUNTAIN, MA - With much excitement, Shirley Survey, MBA, M$, JD of Prezz Gainey (PG) announced the release of the much anticipated Hospital...

New Research Shows That Anti-Vax Housewives Were Right All Along!

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MARIN COUNTY, CA - Tiffany Davis was relieved today when she heard from her friend Courtney Brown at their children’s Gymboree class that Courtney...

The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals

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I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I...
pediatric training

Four-Year-Old Teaches Surgeons Emotional Intelligence

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After the 22nd time (in 2014) that one of its surgeons violated the strict no-tolerance professionalism policy, University Medical Center decided that there should...

Master Radiologist Able to Hedge on Every Possible Medical Condition

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BOSTON, MA – According to the abdominal CT scan report internist Dr. Sam Erikson just pulled up, master radiologist Dr. Bart Waddell has once again...
bunk bed

Family Admits That Putting Grandma in the Top Bunk was Probably a Bad Idea

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BROOKLYN, NY - After thinking back on the events that had transpired over the past week, the family of 98-year-old Bertha Schwartz, who presented...