Internal Medicine

Tattoo-to-Tooth Ratio a Strong Intelligence Predictor

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BIRMINGHAM, AL – Hospital administrators have been searching for better ways to educate patients prior to being discharged.  Administrators may have found their answer...
confused patient

Patient Still Concerned About Getting Sick from the Flu Shot

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MADISON, WI - Doreen Knowitall was horrified that her primary care physician again offered her a flu shot “Even though I told her I...

SARSbola!!!!!!

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Publicists for SARS-CoV-2 and Ebola have announced that the two highly sought after A-list viruses are now joining forces to become this year’s newest...

In Move To Further Gender Equality, HERpes To Be Renamed HIMpes

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With the gender specific city code revolution ongoing in Berkeley, California, the landscape of our language is drastically changing. Physicians throughout the country are...

85-Year-Old Physician Executes Quadruple Click in Heroic Attempt to Open Patient’s Chart

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Witnesses were reportedly stunned yesterday when Dr. Montgomery "Monty" Rutherford, an 85-year-old internist, performed a quadruple click in a heroic attempt...
vaccination

Breaking: Reports Emerge About An Uneventful MMR Vaccination

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ROCHESTER, NY - In what was internationally hailed as a medical first, doctors at Mount Saint Mary Mercy Hospital announced they are confident a...
Totally Unclear Murky Liquid Diet

Patient Put on Totally Unclear, Very Murky Liquid Diet

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AUSTIN, TX - Seeking to ruffle some feathers by going against the usual progression from NPO to clear liquids, hospitalist Roy McRoy placed his...
disappointed doctor

Following $2 Million Lottery Win, Doctors Still in Debt

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WASHINGTON, DC – After months of pooling their money and purchasing lottery tickets, a group of local resident doctors have won the Virginia Lotto’s...

Patient Who Won’t Sign Consent Form Feared to Have Read It

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The decision by a patient to not sign an informed consent form has left her surgeon petrified that she actually read the form. If...

Intern Kills Patient, Earns EMR’s Admiration

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BOSTON, MA - Dr. Earnest DeYoung, a promising intern at Backwater Junction General Medical Center, admitted Mildred Dweendles to intensive care late Friday night....