Internal Medicine

Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!

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  The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients. An objective rating...

Pharmacist Struggling to Calculate Dinner Tip

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OCEANSIDE, NY - Inpatient pharmacist Mark Donato, beloved and trusted by his fellow physicians and other medical providers for being able to “dose anything,”...

Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’

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BOCA RATON, FL - Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the...
elderly lady

Sweet Little Old Lady Has Impressive Vocabulary of Profanity

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ATLANTA, GA - 94-year-old and 96-lb. Annabelle Rivers is as sweet and tiny as they come.  She always has her makeup done right first...
lightsaber

Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis

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DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...

CDC announces that 100% of the world’s population will be over 65 by 2050.

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Yesterday in a stunning revelation, the CDC released a report which predicts that by the year 2050 the entire global population will be over...

Patient Boldly Quits Smoking Day Before Surgery

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CINCINNATI, OH – Local resident Charles Shoemaker has decided to stop smoking the day before his total knee replacement.  "I’ve heard there are many...
hospital credentialing

Hospital Makes Ultimate Economic Move: Quits Credentialing Doctors

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In a surprising move today, Nevercare General Hospital announced that it will close its medical staff office and stop credentialing doctors. "It only makes sense," said...

Post-Cardiac Arrest Fonzie Not Eligible for Therapeutic Hypothermia, “He’s Already Too Cool”

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MILWAUKEE, WI - The critical care service at Sweet Sweet Mercy Hospital has denied Fonzie a potentially life-saving intervention.  He recently suffered an out...
female physician

Physician Still Hasn’t Received Her Big-Pharma Payout

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Newly-minted attending physician, Dr. Lindsay Moliarty, has a pile of bills to pay: $200,000 in student loans that has accrued...