Internal Medicine

Hilton Hospital

New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open

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CHICAGO, IL - Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish construction shortly on a new state of the art hotel,...
map my couch app

Map My Couch App Released in Response to Map My Run App

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In response to the numerous Map My Run and other workout posts that inundate newsfeeds on Facebook, a psychology group out of Houston TX...
nursing diagnosis

Report: Ability to Wear Scrubs to Work is Only Thing Keeping Health Care Professionals...

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CHICAGO, IL - According to a recent poll of nearly 20,000 health care professionals jointly conducted by the American Academy of Physician Assistants (AAPA), American...
Death Star Darth Vader

Vader Displeased with Readmissions, Delinquent Discharge Summaries

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MED-SURG UNIT, DEATH STAR MEDICAL CENTER, DEATH STAR - We have received word from the Rebel Alliance that Darth Vader has been distracted and displeased...
homeopathy

Homeopath to Drug Seeker: ‘I Thought You Said Dilute It’

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SEATTLE, WA - Friday, local drug-seeker Garrett Ashton was reportedly shocked to learn that his Dilaudid was not available for pick-up, and in fact,...
parrot on shoulder

Health Department Gives Parrots To Patients Who Need Reminding

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MADISON, WI — The Dane County Department of Public Health has issued free parrots to 250 of the most frequently hospitalized patients in Madison....

I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight...

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In medical school, I found this ugly, indurated, black mass along my right lower quadrant, towards my inguinal crease.  It wasn’t tender per se,...
hospital patient

21 Tips for Patients on How to Be Good Patients: From Health Care Professionals

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Ok, it is time to be brutally honest to our patients.  As health care professionals, we want to take amazing care of them.  We...
nursing home

Bed-Bound, Demented 89-Year-Old Successfully Resuscitated, Discharged to Wallow in Own Excrement at Nursing Home

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GREENSBORO, NC - A team of physicians, nurses, and support staff is being lauded for its efforts in saving the life of Jasper Billings,...
used speculum tongue depressor

CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors

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ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...