Eastern Medicine Inspired Stroke Protocol Saves Millions in Health Care Costs, Improves Patient Satisfaction...
PORTLAND, OR - A cerebral vascular accident, commonly known as a stroke, is a devastating diagnosis that frequently results in long-term disability and death. Many...
So You’ve Been Hit by a Stray Dart, What to Do Next
It happens all the time. You're hanging out at a bar or friend's house playing a game of darts, when - BAM!! - a...
Tips for Being a Medical Specialist
Specialists are special physicians, not just doctors but lords of medical dominions. A Specialist must do several things to the patient—Specialists do things TO...
Doctor Vows to Not Sleep Until He Finds Cure for Cancer, Retracts That, Vows...
OMAHA, NE – World famous oncologist Dr. Samuel Potter publicly vowed last week to "not sleep until I find the cure for cancer." This big...
Intern Put Into Timeout Cage to Think About What She Did
EL PASO, TX - New medical intern Lilah Pepper was placed into a timeout cage by her team on rounds earlier today as punishment,...
Chipotle to Win Back Customer Trust by Giving Away Free Antibiotics
DENVER, CO - It’s been a very rough twelve months to say the least for Chipotle, which has seen its reputation severely damaged after...
Nurse Has License Suspended for Ordering Wrong Sandwich
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Rebekah Harris had her nursing license suspended indefinitely on Tuesday when administrators learned she ordered her ICU patient the incorrect sandwich. "She delivered...
Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year
ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...
Medical Science Catching Up to Fad Diets in New Exciting Breakthrough
PORTLAND, OR - In what is being called one of the greatest breakthroughs in modern medicine, scientists at Hood River University have discovered a...
Medical Journals Abandon Editorial Standards to Publish 5th Grader’s Book Report
In an unprecedented move medical journals across academia have done away with quality requirements to make data available to physicians on the frontlines as...