National Arthritic Society Lobbies for Climate Change
WASHINGTON, DC – The Koch Brothers and the National Arthritic Society (NAS) have teamed up to encourage global warming. It all started in the Land...
Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion Due To ChloraPrep From Last Plastic Surgery
WASHINGTON, D.C - The U.S. Surgeon General accidentally revealed in a recent interview that President Trump’s skin tone is actually a normal shade of...
American College of Cardiology Seen Publically Fighting with the American Society of Nephrology
WASHINGTON, DC - The American College of Cardiology (ACC) is currently refusing to talk to the American Society of Nephrology (ASN). Sources say the fight rekindled at a...
Intern Describes Patient’s Pillow as Soft, Nontender
SACRAMENTO, CA - Intern Dale Sheppard went to see one of his patients early this morning, only to find her stewing because the pillows were...
Twas the Night Before Christmas Call
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the floor
Not a creature was stirring, not even the R4;
The pager that clung to my waistband...
‘Arrival’ Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods
MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival,...
CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened. "We need to have the...
ECG Tech Rejoices: ECG Ordered as ‘Routine’
DURHAM, NC - ECG (electrocardiogram) tech Joy Foreman rejoiced as she came upon a true rarity today when it comes to the world of diagnostic...
Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040
WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...
Jimmy Kimmel and Real Doctors Preach on Getting Vaccines
Another reason to get your kids vaccinated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgpfNScEd3M