Internal Medicine

bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only...
ophtho abbreviations

An Internist’s Guide to Ophtho Abbreviations

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Ophthalmology has so many alien abbreviations, it's like they have their own specialty.  Thanks to the recent discovery of a missing piece of the...
Arrival heptopods orthopods Louise Banks

‘Arrival’ Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods

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MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival,...
oxy coaster

FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride

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PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...
flossing anus rectum

American College of Gastroenterology Recommends Flossing Rectum Daily

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BETHESDA, MD - Influenced by close analysis of guidelines published by the American Dental Association (ADA), new guidelines from the American College of Gastroenterology...

Narc Madness

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It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4!  This year...
confused doctor

Breaking News: “Never Event” Actually Happens

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TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, NM - The Quality Initiative (QI) Committee here at Truth of Consequences Medical Center (ToCMC) was astounded by the news today that...
notes rounding

Surgeon General Finishes Rounding on 320 Million Americans, Dreads Writing Notes

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WASHINGTON, DC - Late last night a very visibly tired Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy finally finished rounding on every American...
tuning fork tuning spoon tuning knife

Neurologist Wondering Where She Put Her Tuning Spoon & Tuning Knife

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DURHAM, NC - This past November, neurologist Adrianna Phelps was forced to improvise and use a tuning fork to eat her Caesar salad.  Ever...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Brave MD Sorts Through Inbox of 100,000 COVID-19 Emails

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PORTLAND, OR - It goes without saying that every act of bravery in a time of crisis should be recognized. Today Gomerblog wants...