Patient Still Concerned About Getting Sick from the Flu Shot
MADISON, WI - Doreen Knowitall was horrified that her primary care physician again offered her a flu shot “Even though I told her I...
EMR Cures Nearly All Physical Abnormalities Per EMR Physical Exam
VERONA, WI – According to electronic medical record (EMR) manufacturer, Epic Systems, the implementation of EMRs has improved the physical exam toward normal in...
American Academy of Drug Seekers Releases 2016 ED Pain Management Guidelines
BALTIMORE, MD - Acknowledging that the nationwide effort to reduce opiate abuse in the ED has led to dangerous levels of undertreatment among their...
Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes
Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK! Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre?
Cons / You...
Desperate Hospital Endorses Dirty Sock as Preferred PPE
CHICAGO, IL—As coronavirus counts rise, local hospitals face shortages of personal protective equipment (PPE). With any remaining viable PPE hoarded in the homes of...
Insomniac Cured After One Question, Wonders Why He Didn’t Think of It Before
BISMARCK, ND - In an unprecedented success story, patient Igor Soapen has finally been relieved of the insomnia that plagued his life. And he...
Patient Boldly Quits Smoking Day Before Surgery
CINCINNATI, OH – Local resident Charles Shoemaker has decided to stop smoking the day before his total knee replacement. "I’ve heard there are many...
FDA Reminder: Baby Aspirin Not Actually Meant for Babies
SILVER SPRING, MD - Looking to clear things up to the confused American public, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a reminder that...
Product Review: Mattel’s Resuscitate Me Elmo
Pros / Thanks to his lovable and playful interactions, Resuscitate Me Elmo makes it ridiculously easy and fun to learn cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).
Cons /...
Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe
NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized...