Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis
NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his...
U.S. Women’s Relay Team Elects to Use Femur, Not Baton for Handoffs
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - For this week's upcoming track and field event, the USA Track & Field Women's 4x100m Team has announced that it has...
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...
Old Man Tired of Giving Medical History
GOSHEN, MI - A local man with multiple medical problems decided to tape record his medical history to playback instead of repeating himself at...
Formerly Gluten-Sensitive Patient Now Claims Evidence Insensitivity
NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain. The New York native,...
Attending’s Feedback to Student: ‘Strengthen Your WiFi Signal’
AUBURN, AL - It was the final day of his medicine rotation, and third-year medical student Scott Hannigan sat down with his attending Rachel...
Med Student Yammering About Oxidative Phosphorylation, Kill Us Now
LAS VEGAS, NV - Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones continues to cement her legacy as the most annoying...
GI Consultant Thrilled To Hear About Guaiac Positive Formed Stool At 3 AM
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Second-year gastroenterology fellow Dr. I. Scopalot was flabbergasted to hear about an unusual case of guaiac-positive stool found in the emergency department...
Tips: How to Treat a Pager That Keeps Going Off Like It Has Seizures
Sadly, despite all the technological advances we've made, a good portion of health care professionals still carry an object as archaic and arguably less...