Internal Medicine

night before call in the hospital

Twas the Night of Call

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'Twas the night of call, when all through the ward Not a patient was stirring, and the nurses quite bored The Emerg referred patients who just...
physical therapy

Physical Therapist Evaluates Patient But Refuses to Treat

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a stunning turn of events, a physical therapist at St. Agnes Medical Center has evaluated a patient but is refusing...

ICD-10 Codes Are Out: What Do You Think?

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ICD-10 codes are out.  It contains over 14,400 codes for diseases, signs and symptoms, abnormal findings, complaints, special circumstances, and external causes of injury...
Methadone drone

Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery

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TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...

CDC decides to put all of New York on a ventilator

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NYC, New York - The recent coronavirus outbreak has devastated New York City to say the least. Their infection rate almost out numbers the...
LOS

Study: Length of D/C Summary Inversely Proportional to Length of Stay (LOS)

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BETHESDA, MD - A landmark study conducted by the National Institute of Documentation (NID) has proven once and for all the length of a discharge...
caps lock

NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK

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NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...
bouncy house

So You’re Paged While in a Bouncy House, What to Do Next

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There you are, jumping around happily in a bouncy house when the unthinkable happens: you get paged.  Well, maybe not unthinkable since you are...

New Nurse Surgeon General Unsure Who To Page About Nation’s Slightly Abnormal Magnesium Level

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Office of the Surgeon General was thrown into chaos late last night when newly-appointed Acting Surgeon General Rear Admiral Sylvia...
staph staff

Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin

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A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019. “Apparently it didn’t...