Internal Medicine

YMCA

New Study Describes “Y.M.C.A. Reflex”

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BOSTON, MA—It has been observed for decades and is so commonplace as to almost be an afterthought.  And yet, after a thorough review of the...
emergency room

Man in US Furious About Waiting 15 minutes in ER; Meanwhile Patient in South...

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DENVER, CO – 46-year-old Marcus Stillbee is furious after waiting for 15 minutes to be seen at the local Quicky Care Medical Center ER...

Chaos as ICU Attending Touches Defibrillator

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LEBANON, IN – An internal mass casualty incident was declared at Saint Sebastian Hospital on Thursday morning after an ICU physician inadvertently discharged a...
bellies

Doctors Mandated to Rub Patients’ Bellies to Improve Patient Satisfaction Scores

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PENSACOLA, FL - In an effort to bolster patient satisfaction scores, doctors at Sacred Heart Health System have been mandated to rub patients' bellies, say...
troponin bump

Intern Has Mild Troponin Bump Over Patient’s Mild Troponin Bump

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NASHVILLE, TN - After seeing her patient with chest pain develop a mild troponin bump up to 0.25 on this morning's set of labs,...

Hospitals Unleash New, Brutally Honest Slogans

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NEW YORK, NY - Forget the days of the compassionate and uplifting slogans like “A Passion for Healing,” “Because Your Life Matters,” or “Every...

Endocrine responds valiantly to Blood Glucose of 201

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Local Endocrine fellow and brand-new father, Dr. Patrick Tumble, reports unadulterated joy at getting 3 am phone call regarding a high blood glucose. Dr.Tumble...
fax form

Med Student Eager to Fax This Form with “All That I’ve Got”

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NASHVILLE, TN - Only hours into her first internal medicine clerkship, third-year Vanderbilt University medical student Erin Sperling is a tad bit nervous but...
toliet flushing medications

NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively

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BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...
elderly patient

Local Centenarian Attributes Longevity to Drinking, Sex, Survivorship Bias

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Lenny Jones, a retired pipe fitter and Navy veteran celebrated his 102nd birthday at the Greenwood Hills nursing home on Tuesday. When asked about the...