Internal Medicine

COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance

0
ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight...
patient

Patient Discharged to Rehab to Acquire UTI

0
AUGUSTA, GA - Patient Larry Michelson is thrilled he will be going to subacute rehab today where, if everything goes according to plan, he...

Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies

11
VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies,...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

3
PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...
hospital patient

21 Tips for Patients on How to Be Good Patients: From Health Care Professionals

94
Ok, it is time to be brutally honest to our patients.  As health care professionals, we want to take amazing care of them.  We...

With No Mega Millions Winner, Millions of Healthcare Professionals Begrudgingly Show Up to Work

0
CHICAGO, IL - Many, if not every single health care professional, woke up this morning before heading to work and checked to see if...
Steve Bannon

Surgical Oncologist Successfully Resects Steve Bannon from National Security Council

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a press conference at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital early this morning, surgical oncologist Dr. H.R. McMaster was pleased to announce that he...
hipster beard super bacteria

Super Bacteria Found In Hipster’s Beard, Also Has Beard

0
WILLIAMSBURG, NY - A local area hospital recently broke the news that a highly drug-resistant bacterial species was isolated from a man’s beard. The...
santa electronic record

Santa Uses Electronic Gifts Record and Screws up Bigtime

0
“It has been a disaster,” said Santa while banging his head against the computer monitor screen.  “It has never taken me so long to...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

0
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...