Internal Medicine

Breaking News: Scientists Almost Know What the ‘V’ in COVID Stands For

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TULSA, OK- In a major update in the race for a vaccine for COVID-19, we have learned of a promising development from the scientific...
single ply toilet paper

Emergency Room Switch to Single-Ply Toilet Paper Reduces Unnecessary Gastro Admissions by 60%

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MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - A major tertiary emergency department in Melbourne recently conducted a trial of single-ply toilet paper across all bathrooms and found a...
attending thinks he is funny

Attending Shocked to Learn He’s Not Actually Funny

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TACOMA, WA - Dr. Gerald Wood, the Chief of Rheumatology at St. Johns, was stunned to learn this morning that he is not objectively...

Surface of Mercury Less Toxic Than Hospital Work Environment

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WASHINGTON, DC - Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have analyzed data suggesting that the surface of Mercury, though not suitable for...

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

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Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...
measles infection

Dr. House of Cards: Magna Cum Measles

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ZDoggMD stars in Dr. House of Cards, Magna Cum Measles.  Looks like little Timmy will be getting his MMR vaccine afterall. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-sW_wZoAFk  

Army Medical Student Disappointed to Hear Apache II Score Has Nothing to Do with...

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Third year medical student and prior helicopter pilot, Tim McGrowler, was disappointed to find out that the APACHE II has nothing to...

Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding

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BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known...

Eminem Conference Brings Together Morbidity, Mortality & Hip-Hop

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DETROIT, MI - Yesterday’s sold-out Eminem conference at Detroit Medical Center went down as one of the greatest lunchtime conferences in history, with American...

German Scientists develops safe, effective tool to remove gerbils from rectums

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Oslo, Norway - An advancement that has been heralded as a boon for animal rights and paraphilia aficionados everywhere was recently unveiled at the...