Internal Medicine

hospitalist place

Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective

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By Hospitalist Dr. Eric O'Malley Placement.  I like placement.  I like nursing home placement.  I like rehab placement.  I like acute rehab placement.  I like...
physician kiosk

EM Physicians Replaced by Self-Service Kiosks‏

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COLUMBUS, OH -  In a recent move aimed at curbing health care costs and improving patient satisfaction, Northland Hospital has installed self-service kiosks in their...

Pain Specialist Uses Ibuprofen Bottle as Substitute for Call System

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Dr. Habad Malik sent shock waves through the local medical community when he left town for a week, entrusting his call system to a...
hand washing

Researchers: If Washing Hands Won’t Remove All Germs, Blowing Them Off at High Speeds...

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers from Harvard University have discovered the reason for high-cost hand dryers in bathrooms all over the United States.  In public...
Hospicillin

FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

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CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
fever defervesce

Fed Up ID Doctor Wishes Everyone Would F**king Defervesce Already

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EL PASO, TX - "Fevers, fevers, everywhere I look, someone's got a f**king fever!!" Dr. Ryan Keeley was heard muttering down a hallway at...
amoeba

Single-Celled Organism Caught Masquerading as VA ICU Nurse

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DAVENPORT, IA – A recent press release from the local VA hospital announced that a single celled organism had disguised itself as an ICU...
placement medicine

‘Hospital Medicine’ Renamed ‘Placement Medicine’

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced that effective January 1, 2017, the specialty known as Hospital Medicine will be...