Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware
"And just like that, the world burned." Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was...
Hurricane Force Winds Coming From Colonoscopy Suite
BOSTON, MA - In the wake of Hurricane Harvey, a new threat is developing in nearby Mercy Hospital. Witnesses report hurricane force winds billowing...
Area Female Physician Changes First Name to “Doctor”
In Milwaukee today, a local cardiologist made the unprecedented move of legally changing her first name to “Doctor.” Fed up with being called “Nurse”...
Physical Therapist Evaluates Patient But Refuses to Treat
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a stunning turn of events, a physical therapist at St. Agnes Medical Center has evaluated a patient but is refusing...
Health Care Providers Hail the Launch of the New “Patient Complaint Line”
Following in the pattern of patient satisfaction scores, Dreamland General Hospital has initiated a new "Patient Complaint Line." When a patient has acted in...
Graduating Resident Gives Finger to Every Attending in Department Before Leaving
Dr. Will Chou, a graduating internal medicine resident, perfected his time management skills and was able to locate every single attending in his department...
Nitwit GI Doc Leaves Scope in Patient’s Colon Again
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - "Gosh darn it!" exasperated nitwit gastroenterologist Steven Moravsky uttered in a state of shock earlier today when endoscopy suite staff...
Nurse Has License Suspended for Ordering Wrong Sandwich
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Rebekah Harris had her nursing license suspended indefinitely on Tuesday when administrators learned she ordered her ICU patient the incorrect sandwich. "She delivered...
Santa Uses Electronic Gifts Record and Screws up Bigtime
“It has been a disaster,” said Santa while banging his head against the computer monitor screen. “It has never taken me so long to...