Monday, July 6, 2020

Critical Care

Kevin Bacon sixth-degree heart block

Breaking News: Kevin Bacon Diagnosed with Sixth-Degree Heart Block

LOS ANGELES, CA - After developing the sudden onset of shortness of breath, self-proclaimed Center of the Universe Kevin Bacon was rushed to UCLA Medical Center where he has been found to have sixth-degree heart...
avocado toast

It’s All Good: Avocado Toast More Effective Than Steroids in the Treatment of Septic...

NEW YORK, NY - The most important publication since the release of the Sepsis-3 guidelines, a multi-center trial led by a team of physicians at Cornell University published findings in the latest issue of...
endotracheal tube cough suppressant

Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube

BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough?  Not so fast.  An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of Medical Management (NEJMM) states that compared to other antitussive agents,...
John Doe

Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe

NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized that their comatose patient assigned the name John Doe until...
fullest code

Patient to be “Fullest Code Possible”

KEARNEY, NE - In what should not be considered abnormal in our day and age, the family of Billy Rubin demanded that the 89-year-old resident of a local SNF and frequent flier at Kind...
Super Bowl LI shootout

Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout

HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a full-fledge shootout involving "shotguns and pistols" between the Atlanta Falcons...
Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Wakes Up After Single Dose of Narcan

MEDIEVAL ENGLAND - In a last ditch effort to prevent intubation for airway protection, Sleeping Beauty - also known as Princess Aurora, the daughter of King Stefan and Queen Leah - was given 0.4 mg...

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge): What is New England's obsession with...
Nintendo cartridge Super Mario Bros

Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths

LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) medical student Mac Little summoned his ACLS knowledge...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!

NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only (More Bicarb!!) algorithm for cardiopulmonary arrest (see Figure 6 below)....