Scientists Perfect the No-Wipe Poop
BLOOMINGTON, IL – Scientists at Fermi-Labs have discovered something more remarkable and useful to the human race than the God Particle: no-wipe poops. Dan...
Medicine Team ‘Forgets’ to Round on Patient on Psychiatry Ward
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Dr. Karen Turner, chief medical resident at Fallbrook Hospital, led her team on morning rounds yesterday throughout the hospital. Intern, Dr. Jeremy...
Doctor Orders Food Trays for Intubated Patients, Eats for Free
GALVESTON, TX – Charles Wilson is a typical pulmonary/critical care fellow who spends 130 hours a week at the hospital (officially 80), which totals $6.10 an...
Internal Medicine Resident Calls Rheumatology Fellow In at 2:00 AM for Fibromyalgia Patient “Fibro...
KANSAS CITY, KS - “I was just tired of dealing with her,” internal medicine resident Dr. Kara Gifford said. “She is allergic to every pain...
Doctor Actually Thinks He Is Saving Lives
WORCESTER, MA - Dr. Danny Trenda, a recent Tufts University Medical School graduate, told friends at Tony’s Tavern that he was saving lives. His friends,...
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The Tale of the Enema and the Trailing Zero Error
LUBBOCK, TX - The Institute of Medicine in 1999 shocked the world when they reported that up to 100,00 persons die each year due...
George Bush: I Misunderestimated the Weapon of Mass Destruction in My Coronaries: Atherosclerosis
DALLAS, TX - George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States, had a coronary artery stent placed on Wednesday. Dubbya said he...
Hospital Having Difficulty in Training New Employee, ‘Mr. Dracula’
NEW BEDFORD, CT – Merryview Community Hospital recently hired a local man named “Mr. Dracula” as a phlebotomist for their laboratory division and their decision...
Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy
NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters. He asked her the usual morning...