RN, MD Confused After Patient Requests Pain Med That Begins with an E
ATLANTA, GA - An inpatient health care team has been baffled all day by a patient’s persistent requests for pain medication, but it’s not your usual suspect. The patient keeps asking for that pain...
EM Intern Kicked Out Of Residency For Completing Full Work-Up Of Patient Before Consulting...
“We absolutely will not tolerate this kind of behavior,” the irate Department of Emergency Medicine chairman began. “This isn’t like the old days when we would do a complete history and physical before consulting...
Hospitalist Releases Limited Edition Discharge Summary on Vinyl
NASHVILLE, TN - Fans will be queueing up at medical records departments across the country as critically-acclaimed hospitalist Amanda Snider announced she will be releasing a limited-edition discharge summary on vinyl. The release will...
ICUs Convert to Starbuck Sizes for Fluid Management
In an effort to stay current with a younger generation of doctors and nurses, the American Association of Critical Care Medicine (AACCM) has altered their guidelines to use “Starbucks” sizes for fluid management. Terms...
Endocrinologist: Small Mario Suffering from Mushroom Deficiency
WORLD 1-1 - Problem solved: After a battery of tests (including colonoscopy), an endocrinologist at World 1-1 Medical Center has discovered and informed Small Mario that his small stature is the result of severe mushroom...
Always Blame Nephrology
Intern: Patient’s BP is now 90/50.
Resident: This is from pulling too much fluid with dialysis
Intern: Patient didn’t get any dialysis today
Resident: Then, it is from the dialysis done 2 days ago
Intern: They just called...
Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus
BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley mentioned the finding of horizontal nystagmus.
"What...
Groundbreaking: Patient Placed on Gaseous Diet
LOS ANGELES, CA - Hoping this can provide critical nourishment for someone with severe dysphagia to both solids and liquids instead of defaulting to the usual NPO status, hospitalist Jared Gott has placed his...
Playing It Safe: Telemetry Box Placed on Tele
BALTIMORE, MD - Suffering potentially anything from low batteries to a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia, a hospitalist at The Hoppin' Johns Hospital in Baltimore is playing it safe by placing his patient's telemetry box on...
Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!
The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients.
An objective rating scale for the Emergency Department. Give the patient a point...