Internal Medicine

RN, MD Confused After Patient Requests Pain Med That Begins with an E

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ATLANTA, GA - An inpatient health care team has been baffled all day by a patient’s persistent requests for pain medication, but it’s not...
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EM Intern Kicked Out Of Residency For Completing Full Work-Up Of Patient Before Consulting...

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“We absolutely will not tolerate this kind of behavior,” the irate Department of Emergency Medicine chairman began. “This isn’t like the old days when...
limited-edition discharge summary vinyl

Hospitalist Releases Limited Edition Discharge Summary on Vinyl

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NASHVILLE, TN - Fans will be queueing up at medical records departments across the country as critically-acclaimed hospitalist Amanda Snider announced she will be...

ICUs Convert to Starbuck Sizes for Fluid Management

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In an effort to stay current with a younger generation of doctors and nurses, the American Association of Critical Care Medicine (AACCM) has altered...
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Endocrinologist: Small Mario Suffering from Mushroom Deficiency

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WORLD 1-1 - Problem solved: After a battery of tests (including colonoscopy), an endocrinologist at World 1-1 Medical Center has discovered and informed Small Mario...
nephrology

Always Blame Nephrology

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Intern: Patient’s BP is now 90/50. Resident: This is from pulling too much fluid with dialysis Intern: Patient didn’t get any dialysis today Resident: Then, it is...
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Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus

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BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by...
gaseous diet

Groundbreaking: Patient Placed on Gaseous Diet

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Hoping this can provide critical nourishment for someone with severe dysphagia to both solids and liquids instead of defaulting to...
telemetry tele

Playing It Safe: Telemetry Box Placed on Tele

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BALTIMORE, MD - Suffering potentially anything from low batteries to a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia, a hospitalist at The Hoppin' Johns Hospital in Baltimore is...

Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!

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  The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients. An objective rating...