Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Internal Medicine

COVID-19: ER Doc Relieved Man in Room 9 Just Having a Heart Attack

0
NEW YORK, NY—Overwhelmed with hordes of COVID-19 patients filling the Emergency Department at Manhattan Medical Center, third-year resident, Dr. Noah Moe Karona, expressed relief and sheer joy upon learning that the man in Room...

Medical Student at Home Gets Thanked for Helping Fight Coronavirus

0
At 9am Tuesday morning, medical student Colin G was making coffee in his PJ’s when he received a text from his Aunt Jan. “Hi Colin, this is your Aunt Jan. How are you? I’m sure...

Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer

0
WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his Corona Beer. "You...

Desperate Hospital Endorses Dirty Sock as Preferred PPE

0
CHICAGO, IL—As coronavirus counts rise, local hospitals face shortages of personal protective equipment (PPE). With any remaining viable PPE hoarded in the homes of worried-well patients, administrations have been forced to take innovative approaches...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Brave MD Sorts Through Inbox of 100,000 COVID-19 Emails

0
PORTLAND, OR - It goes without saying that every act of bravery in a time of crisis should be recognized. Today Gomerblog wants to salute one such hero: emergency room physician,...

In Last-Ditch Effort, Federal Reserve Gives Crashing U.S. Stocks 1 Amp of Bicarb

0
NEW YORK, NY - In a truly last-ditch effort to prevent U.S. stocks from crashing, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York has asked Pharmacy for 1 amp of bicarb.

Social Distancing: Big & Tall Medical Supply Shop Finally Selling Its 6-Foot-Long Stethoscopes

0
NEW YORK, NY—Mocked for years for its unpopular line of very long medical equipment, Manhattan Big & Tall Medical Supplies is finally getting the last laugh. With health care workers wishing to keep a...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter

0
ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before and after every encounter with a patient with...

Snapchat Filters Prove Helpful for Female Physician’s Telemedicine Business

0
Boston, MA - With the current COVID-19 crisis many physicians are turning to telemedicine to offer continuity of care to their patients. One female, primary care physician has found that her approach to telemedicine...

Breaking: Man Flu Caused by COVID-19

0
BETHESDA, MD - In a major scientific breakthrough, researchers at the National Institute of Health have uncovered that man flu is both real and caused by pandemic COVID-19. Though...