Nursing

nurse station

Beverage Container Left Open at Nurses Station, Three Dead as a Result

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a tragic tale of "I told you so," three nurses died overnight at Mercy Hospital as a result of eating food and leaving open beverages at the nurses station.  The...
BLS online

New Research Shows Virtual Online BLS/ACLS Course Not Saving Real Lives

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PHOENIX, AZ - Although popular with millennials and medical administrators, new research shows that online BLS/ACLS training is not effective at instilling the muscle-memory reflexes needed for emergency response skills. "BLS and ACLS responses need...
lozenges

3:01 AM Lozenges Order Request Caught on Tape

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BOCA RATON, FL - The following is an exclusive transcript of the explosive dialogue that has resulted in a formal reprimanding of Dr. Ann Hedonia by hospital administrators: NURSE: “Hello?” DOCTOR: “Yes, this is Dr. Ann Hedonia....

Doctors Getting Nursing Degrees to Stay Competitive

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BOSTON, MA - Nurse Shannon Wilkens on floor 4 West thought she saw someone she knew in scrubs walking into room 414.  "He was tall, I swore he looked familiar.  Our charge nurse informed me he was recently...
toliet flushing medications

NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively

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BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study examining the relationship between prescription narcotics and benzodiazepines and indoor...
airplane faa npo after midnight

Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest

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DENVER, CO - Passengers and crew are counting themselves fortunate tonight as their United Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Chicago made an emergency landing at Stapleton Airport due to an in-flight emergency.  A 68-year-old...
medical patient on cell phone

Cell Phones Newest Weapon in Fight Against Pain

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BOSTON, MA - Cell phones are now on the list of items previously thought to have no therapeutic benefit, which are now being researched heavily as a potential miracle. Dr. Lakshmi Singh, an emergency physician...

Local Nurse and Intern Declare EMR Documentation War‏

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COOPERSTOWN, NY - Citing a "clearly aggressive nursing note" which was felt to be "the absolute last straw," medical intern Edward Costa formally declared a documentation war on nurse Catherine Ragaz at 12:03 this morning. Costa reports...

Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality

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ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations. "I had two patients in my ICU simultaneously," said lead author Dr. Jessica Kantor.  "Both...

Joint Commission Cites Itself as a Major Hindrance to Medical Care

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CHICAGO, IL - This past Thursday, the Joint Commission officially cited itself as a major obstacle for patient care and safety.  The Joint Commission released in a statement Monday, "If we truly are trying to improve...